Dark Guardian

by little.tel

Oneshot - Raphael reflects on his role in the family while in the rain. It's a bit dark and angsty. My first story so it holds a special place in my heart even though it's so small.

1/15/2008

Silent Guardian

TMNT

Those storm clouds, they're just like me in every way, except one. They're crying. I never cry. I can't. When I was younger, I could cry. When I was scared or sad, but not now. Now, I can't. Sometimes they call me cold and heartless when I stand there silently watching one of my brothers near death. They think I don't care what happens to them. But I do. I really do. When one of them gets hurt, I can't help but blame myself. So I train harder and push myself to my limits.

They wonder where I go to when I disappear. They think I go and just sulk in the sewers somewhere, but I really go to train. Sometimes I train so hard that I collapse. Once, when I was training on an obstacle course I'd set up, I slipped and fell twenty feet. When I woke up I found that I'd broken my leg. When I got home they thought that I had been fighting. Sensei yelled at me for going topside and for being gone for so long. I never told them the truth. I wouldn't. Long ago I decided that I would be the bad son, the misguided son, the angry and the troubled son so that my brothers would be all the better when compared to me.

I mean, what else am I good for? I'm not a leader, I'm not smart, and I can't make others happy. All I can do is make them miserable. So I will be the bad son, so that when I die they won't be too sad. I will be the one to die first. I won't let the others die before me.

I think they may hate me, but that doesn't really matter. All that matters is that I protect them. So I'll stay in the dark, hiding my feelings, destroying my weaknesses, and becoming stronger.

Hate me all you will, but I'll be your silent guardian forever.