Hiding from Reality
~ Amiboshi: A seishi's thoughts about his miko
It has been a long time now, ever since she has arrived in Kutou and has become Seiryuu no Miko, by force--in my opinion. Why, Nakago is such a great influence to Yui-sama, maybe if she never met him, then we would have a different miko. But that statement doesn't mean that I don't like her at all. I never became close with Yui-sama at all. When Nakago found me, he introduced me to her--and shortly afterwards, he sent me to have Suzaku no Miko and her seishi killed. But I do know that Yui-sama is a very nice girl, and just now I realized that; like her, I was influenced by someone like Nakago. Someone who could take control of anything by simply raising a finger.
I have been hiding under the protection of my foster parents for some time now. And yet I still cannot forget how wretched Yui-sama's life has been, ever since she came to our world. I feel sorry for her sometimes. I feel sorry for her, knowing that Nakago is hiding her from reality--knowing that Miaka-san wanted to rescue her from Nakago's evil plans and yet he has planted in Yui-sama's mind that Miaka has already forgotten all about her.
She is intelligent, yes. But her vulnerability has driven her to the edge, and it comes to the point that she would never believe in just anybody else anymore. She tries to hide her fear, her weakness-- perhaps she wanted Miaka to believe that she is strong and she is right all along. Perhaps she wanted to prove that she could get out of trouble all by herself.
I know that Yui-sama is afraid. She's afraid of being rejected once more, afraid of being left alone. Her traumatic experience drove her to be so dependent on others; and she never believes in anybody else anymore, except for Nakago. How pathetic, she chose to believe in someone like him.
My twin must be with her now. Maybe he has been good to her; and I hope that she will learn to trust him. I know Suboshi would like her; she is a kind-hearted girl even though I have heard that she has the tendency to be stubborn at times.
Trust...maybe Yui-sama was the kind of person who wouldn't trust anybody so easily. She loathes betrayal; that I know. That is the reason why she has completely turned against Miaka, because she believes that her friend has betrayed her. Maybe she wasn't like that before Nakago poisoned her mind.
Yui-sama. She escaped from reality and hid under the wings of someone who changed everything for her. She hid and started to believe in what she believes is right. Her innocence has driven her away from the truth; she is a victim of the power of lies, lies that make up for what the situation lacks.
And now she is suffering in her own belief, in her own sea of sadness. In her own sea of sadness that fate has given for her to dwell on. Her own sea of sadness that has driven her to the worst of her nightmares.
I pray to Seiryuu that someday, you shall find what you are looking for--not the power of Seiryuu, not revenge, but happiness and contentment. You have suffered long enough. Forgive me, for I never had the chance to help you get out of your mess. But I do believe that someday, you will wake up from your nightmare, and go back to the life you always wanted to go back to.
I wish you the best, miko-sama...
by Sarah McLachlan
Spend all your time waiting for that second chance,
For a break that would make it okay,
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day,
I need some distraction, oh beautiful release
Memory seep from my veins
Let me be empty or weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight...
In the arms of the angel, fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel,
May you find some comfort here.
So tired of the straight line,
And everywhere you turn,
There's vultures and thieves at your back,
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies,
That you make up for all that you lack,
It don't make no difference, escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness,
Oh, this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees...
You're in the arms of the angel,
May you find some comfort here...
Disclaimers: Fushigi Yuugi and characters © Watase Yuu. This fic is for
entertainment purposes only. Please don't sue.
"Hiding from Reality" ©
Botan no Miko,
December 28, 2K.