Getting them back to the bunker was a blur. Only the sounds echo loudly in his head. The white noise of chaos as angels fell from the heavens. The screech of the Impala's tires as he races to the bunker. Cries of anguish from Castiel. Sam's hisses of pain before the silence of unconsciousness engulfs them both. The silence scares Dean the most.
Kevin had tried to help get them inside but they wouldn't let go of him so he heads for the only place he knew; his room. All three of them squish in Dean's bed, fully clothed. Both men grasp his sides as they are over come with sleep. Dean stays awake and stares ahead deep in thought. He hopes he is strong enough for this. Morning must have come because Kevin comes into his room holding a tray of coffees and sets it on the nightstand. A weary look comes across Kevin's face as he sits down on the edge of the bed by Sam.
Dean takes in the surroundings of his room and his bed. Sam is on his right side, long limbs stretch out past his boots. His brother hugs his arm for dear life and tucks his face into the groove of Dean's shoulder. It reminds him when Sammy was little and had a nightmare. Dean suddenly washed with a warm feeling in his chest. Castiel flanks his left side. Legs tangle into his with arms grasp tightly across his chest. His hand rests by Sam's face as if he unconsciously wants to offer some comfort to his little brother too.
Kevin's hands clasp together around a mug and is about to speak when Sam stirs awake. His eyes are unfocused at first and he jumps up when he realizes his arms are held tightly around his older brother's. Dean removes his serious face instantly and smiles brightly at his brother and claps him on the thigh lightly.
"You look better Sammy," he pauses trying to hold his smile, "Sleep man, you never get enough of it", he says like it was no big deal. He unconsciously pulls Castiel a little closer to him. Sam stares at his brother with wide eyes as the events from the night before crashes into him. Kevin interrupts his train of thought and hands him a coffee. "Sam, come on. Lets go eat, get your strength up. Then you can get cleaned up." Kevin says. Sam glances at Kevin confused then back at Dean. His first thought is to curl back up next to his big brother to feel safe but he catches the fake smile still plastered on Dean.
"Ok," he answers his voice thick from sleep. He glances down at himself. Dried blood cakes his arm and dirty boots crusted with mud lay on Dean's still perfectly made bed. He quickly throws his long legs onto the floor and pushes himself up to full height. His hands are shaking but the warmth from the coffee mug grounds him.
Kevin offers to help him walk but he shrugs him off but with a grateful look. Sam retreats behind Kevin out the room but turns back to see Dean staring back. He waves him off like it was no big deal his brother woke up hugging his arm. Sam tries to speak but Dean quickly says, "Go Sammy, Ill be right out. It will be ok alright? Promise." Sam shakes his head and says a slight ok and closes the door behind him.
Dean watches his brother's retreating back and stares at the closed door. A deep frown makes its way back onto his face. He rests his eyes, the heaviness of sleep hitting him like a wave. Cas's arm goes slack around his chest and lowers slowly to his waist. Dean chances a look down at his best friend. His dark hair mats to his face and hides the deep frown line that marks his stress even in sleep. His shirt and pants are torn and caked in mud. Dean shudders from the memory of Cas crawling hands and knees to the Impala. His face white from shock and as the anguish of losing his family takes over his features. He didn't think it was possible to see such human emotion consume his friend but it did.
Something always brings them back together and he chuckles at the tight feeling in his chest. He knows they have a special bond and he really can't place his finger on the exact feeling creeping into him. All he knows is that Cas is his and he is just not sure he can handle loosing him again. They have been through too much together. Dean comforts himself with the knowledge that Castiel was a warrior for God. 'He is a strong solider' he thinks while he moves hair from his friends eyes. Once these new human emotions finish their course, he will be there to help Dean fight as he always is.
Cas must feel his movement because he stirs awake and his bright blue eyes meets his. "Mornin' Dean smiles brightly to lighten the mood and avoid the awkwardness. Cas sits up much like Sam did and tries to untangled from Deans limbs and mumbles a, "Dean, I am so sorry. I…" But Dean cuts him off with a soft touch to his shoulder, "Don't, ok? We will figure this out." He thinks what he said speaks volumes to the events of last night and these new feelings he's realizing he has.
Cas relaxes slightly before he looks stricken at the bed covered in mud and dried blood. He closes his eyes, the loud noises of his family hitting Earth crash into his head. He covers his ears with his hands to muffle the noise. Dean sees the panic attack resurfacing and grabs Cas's hands to pull him back into his side. His legs tangle slowly back into Castiel's as the ex-angel covers his eyes with his freed hands. Tears fall down his face.
Dean holds hims with eyes closed tight. Whispers words to ease the pain. Tells him things will be ok. Not that he fully believes them but because this is his role. He will always try to be the stronger one. The one who can take all the pain for his family. Dean's train of thought stops there as a soft pair of lips brushes his and hovers silently asking for permission. Dean leans into them slowly and kisses him back as his hands come up around to pull him closer. It feels hesitant, and new but he lets the warmth it creates cover his entire body. The moment passes and Dean doesn't notice Cas is no longer crying, or that his lack of sleep creeps up on him. All he knows is that he feels safe and happy to be wrapped up in his touch.
A while later Sam peaks into the room to see Dean and Cas still holding onto each other deep in sleep. He walks over to remove their boots and covers them with a spare blanket. They can sleep a while longer, he thinks to himself before he pauses at the door and whispers a "Thanks" to Dean. A smile pulls at the edges of his mouth as he looks at his brother curled up with their ex-angel.
Maybe Dean is right, they will be ok and figure all this out.