Summary: BakuraxRyou. At three in the morning, Bakura and Ryou carry on a discussion about love, lust, and whipped cream. Kind of a morning after fic. Really short.

Love Sucks

Bakura was warm. Warm and comfortable enough to momentarily ignore the second body in his bed, at least until the second body decided to wriggle around on top of him and moan. Then, of course, he became slightly more awake, mainly due to the blood rushing from his head to his...well...head (if you didn't get that, you are either very sheltered or very oblivious). Ryou (for, of course, that was the body) rested his head in the hollow of Bakura's neck and murmured in a breathy little voice, "Well, I have to say that I'm very disappointed in you, Bakura."

Bakura was confused. "About what? I just woke up! I haven't even gotten the chance to do anything even remotely evil, so how can you be disappointed in me?" Checking the alarm clock, he continued. "Besides, it's 3 A.M.! 's too early!"

Ryou languidly moved until his lips were brushing Bakura's ear and whispered, punctuating each word with a slight flick of his tongue against the other's ear. "There...was...no...'I...love...you'".

"..."

"You do love me, right?"

"..."

"Bakura?"

"...do I have to answer?"

"..."

"...uhh...yes?"

"That's it."

WHOOMPH. And Bakura hit the floor.

"What the fuck was that for?!"

Ryou smiled sweetly (and slightly psychotically), staring at his faux-pas-committing paramour on the floor.

"I don't believe you. No love, no sex. Go sleep on the couch, you no-good, horny, bastard. 'Night."

And with that, Ryou rolled over and pulled the blankets up over his head, leaving poor, cold, soon-to-be-sexually-frusrated Bakura all alone on the floor with (what seemed like) no hope of getting laid for the rest of his life. Poor Bakura.

"Ryoooouuuuuuuuuuu..."

"..."

"Ry-bunny..."

"..."

"Sweetie-pie?"

"..."

"Sugarkins?"

"..."

"Honeybuns?"

"..."

"Ryou-babyyyyyyyy..."

"...!!!!!"

Unable to withstand the somewhat repetitive onslaught against his ears, Ryou flipped around and screamed at the persistent idiot lounging on the floor.

"WHAT?!!!!"

Bakura smirked. He knew that coming up with stupid nicknames for RyRy would come in handy sooner or later.

"Oh, nothing. I just wanted to tell you something."

Ryou gave Bakura a Look. He spoke incredulously. "What? You love me?"

"Nope."

Ticked, Ryou turned back around huffily and said, "Then, mon cher, you can go away, because you kept me up all last night and I'm bone-tired, you insatiable, insensitive, idiotic beast."

Still facing the wall with his back to Bakura, Ryou felt his mattress shift downwards slightly as something heavy climbed on top of his bed. Then, he felt warm puffs of breath next to his ear and shivered as Bakura said huskily, "I love you...when you're sweaty and breathless and covered in whipped cream."

Beat.

A breath.

Two breaths.

And then...

THUMP.

And once again, Mr. Tactless was kicked off of the bed.