Teatime, enjoying the delicate aroma of Earl Grey steeping. Sitting stiffly—his back is slow in healing, bruised to the bone by the sharp descent, the rolling fall, arched to protect the Golden Apple, unbruised and unbroken, smiling at the last.
Three crumbling scones, all stale, traces of currants stolen by mice perhaps, barely a spoonful of tea leaves. So hard to work with a bad back. Money nearly gone. Apprentice too young rough tender suspicious and over all rash and reckless, can't leave him to the world yet. Making do, getting by.
She enters like the dawn, elegant-innocent, his girl in sweet muslin print, the porcelain-white china-blue of a teacup, auburn waves tied in blue ribbon. Beautiful young woman but blushing, strange—flushed, eyelid flutter
legs folding like a dropped handkerchief
try to catch her—falls too fast, teacup shatter
Flora!
Fever. Influenza heat killed the first flower and now she withers in his arms, strange yellow rose and the birthmark burning white at her breast, arcane affection unravelling in tiny gasping breaths
–Go, Luke. No! Do as I say. But We're fine. Go on! echoes of collapsing staircases, the tower torn apart splitting brittle wood stone petrified Professor! now reaching for words with his small eager hands empty air empty hands, Very well, professor.
Long night without the small voice questioning, the mind speaks itself in the darkness-silence. The mind is not enough, professor, learning and experience leave you wide-eye paralysed watching your treasure slip away in the first fingers of heartless dawn.
Professor. Flora, I'm here. Where? Oh god Flora I'm here can't you see Take my hand Here I can't feel it Flora please Is there any water I'll fetch some No wait Yes Please just a moment Of course Press harder I can't feel it Flora let me give you What I don't know Flora I don't know I don't understand I have nothing to give you sweet child
Fluttering eyes heart fingers weakly grasping It's all right I don't need anything Flora half-choking sobs Flora I want to save you from this It's all right I don't need to be saved again you're always so good to me
Flora please grasping her hand what about the gold What We could send for No wild eyes no we can't Please Flora No I can't end their lives Flora my dearest child they aren't real They raised me loved me Your father loved you through them Flora he would sacrifice them to save you they would sacrifice themselves
No turn to the wall I love them they belong to me I would rather die
Hours time lost found dragging its feet limping up the stairs last of the tea half a biscuit
Flora my angel yellow-rose on white cotton are you awake slow tilt heavy head Yes barely a sound sand-gravel throat I have tea for you my darling girl and something to eat Not hungry maybe later Please Flora sets beside her influenza reboiling the tea you must eat love Later I promise Flora I straightening
jolt lightning-rod spine spasm wordless shriek too many words not enough can't steer this broken craft crash curl on wood racked retching unbearable can't move can't be still
soft touch smouldering iron small fevered hand on clammy brow Professor weak cling clasp Professor jaw fist clinch gather centre deep welling strength raise head look into wide glassy eyes Professor what can I do small hands press hold crush no protect your treasure
Professor seeking hands eyes please tell me what's wrong Flora there's no use now trying to find the floor walls bed pull up beside her if you want to help me Please Please stay with me don't perish for their sake let them rest Rest professor please spider-hand stroking damp hair Flora Professor send for the gold ask Bruno let him keep the rest just enough to mend you professor oh I can't let you suffer for me
When I can move again weak smile I swear it
Luke pushing wheeled chair Flora's here professor laughter and tears in their voices Good morning professor I'm feeling much better
slight head tilt You look better dear child can't move for wooden ship-ribs brace cradle comfort constraint no one speaks silent weight waiting will he walk again?
I've bought you a present well Luke bought it but I told him to hearing her smile, smiling eyes half-close imagine the golden apple glowing Oh did you now that's very thoughtful of you It's useful Luke always a bird hop-flitting sudden chirp tell him Flora It's a walking-stick
silence of welling tears cold inner wrenching Thank you both very much smallest sob ripples pain through hiss grimace no mustn't frighten them shallow breath rapid blink oh god did she see
I'm a little tired Luke decrescendo voice dove-soft could you bring me back to my room please Of course good-bye professor Good-bye my boy good-bye dear girl creaking no echo
empty gaze at the ceiling cracked plaster small rifts can't solve the ceiling like a puzzle but this he must solve—resolving
Come what may, she will not lose another father.