Title: like dust in the wind
Characters: Loki, Tony Stark (Iron Man)
Pairings: slight Loki/Tony
Rating: T for imagery and themes
Summary: Tony has always wondered what it would be like to have a guardian angel, but he never thought that his angel would be like this.
Author's Notes: Some angst-ing, lots of backstory. Slight Loki/Tony that may develop more in the future, if/when I make a series out of this. I was influenced by the German musical Elisabeth, particularly the relationship between der Tod and Rudolf, and if you know what that is, you are amazing; however, you need not know what that is to understand this story. Reviews would be great, because I'm very worried about out-of-character issues here.
Also, I have not forgotten about my unfinished stories. I will continue them at some point, but not yet. I've done a lot of researching and I'm working on how to incorporate all that in to them right now. Please enjoy this, in the meantime!
Morning finds Loki in bed, sleeping, with his arms tangled in the sheets. His hair stands out against the pillow's fabric, stark black on a plateau of red. He is peaceful, which is rather rare these days. Being the king, the topmost ruler, of Asgard put more strain on his body and soul than he thought it would. Perhaps some of that stress is due to the fact that he is not really an Asgardian, at least in blood. In upbringing and childhood, he is an Asgardian. But in the things that matter, like ancestors and history, he is a Jotun, from that godforsaken land of Jotunheim.
But for now, for this one peaceful second, Loki is asleep. And when Tony Stark enters the bedroom, he dares not wake up the sleeping god. Loki can have quite the grudge. And anyway, to Tony, this seems to be the first time that Loki has ever slept since they met.
The two met on Loki's first voyage to Midgard, or Earth as Tony calls it. Tony was only twelve, but already he was fast approaching the end of high school. As one would suspect, despite his parents' wealth and affluence, Tony was often teased and nagged due to his intelligence. And then, one miraculous day, he awoke as he always did, mentally preparing himself for another terrible day at school. But one thing was altered this time: a man was standing beside his bed.
Predictably, Tony freaked out, and who could blame him? But the man, who soon introduced himself as Loki Odinsson, befriended him. A silent presence in his life from then on, Loki followed him to school. And though Loki never revealed himself to anyone, save for Tony, suspicious things, terrible things, began to happen to those who attacked Tony. Children would suddenly get sick with smallpox, a disease that supposedly had been eradicated. Others would open their lunchboxes to find snakes and other unpleasant creatures there. Tony tried not to let the guilt get to him, and he figured that these cruel children deserved these fates a little.
He was not so sure why Loki decided to take him under his wing like this. Maybe, he thought now, it was because Loki saw a bit of himself in the young, insecure, out of place Tony Stark.
When Tony's parents died, Loki was there to catch him and hold him and tell him that it would one day be alright. At the funeral, Loki stood half a pace behind him, a lily-white hand clutching Tony's own tanned, weather-beaten hand. And though no one could see him, Loki was very much there; he was no ghost or phantom.
When Tony was captured and the bullet's fragments were spreading rapidly towards his fragile mortal heart, Loki stood there, near to him, giving him the strength and the courage that he needed to stay alive and to keep his mind focused. And then, when Tony escaped using the bionic suit that he and Ho had created, and Yinsen was killed, Loki forced him to leave and come back for more later. And come back, he did. Tony killed nearly every man responsible for Yinsen's capture and death.
Living with magnets and other materials in his chest was – and still is – no walk in the park. The system has to be recharged every day, in order to preserve his state of vitality. But when others were frightened by him, or held him in awe, Loki simply accepts what is and does what he can to help, which turns out to be rather a lot.
Lately, Loki has taken to visiting Tony every day. He has no idea where Loki goes at night, and he thinks he goes back to Asgard. Now, Loki is king of Asgard, since Odin is in the Odinsleep and Thor is exiled to Earth. Tony supposes that he must have a lot of duties there, ruler that he is.
But now, he finds Loki sleeping in his bedroom, the red silk sheets tangled around his gangly limbs. Quietly, so as not to disturb him, Tony removes his shoes and climbs on the bed. He lies down next to the immortal god, not daring to even touch the little skin that is exposed. In all the time that he has known Loki, the most skin that he has ever seen has been his face, neck, and hands. Compared to Tony, who will wear jeans and a t-shirt if he can, Loki is extremely conservative. Then again, Loki is probably a hundred times older than Tony is, so maybe that explains it.
For all his efforts at silence, Loki struggles awake, blinking his green, green eyes in the warm light that breaks through the window. He turns his head to face Tony, his emerald eyes piercing into Tony's own brown eyes.
"What are you doing here?" Loki asks, voice groggy from sleep, and it is an honest question. He probably thought he would be sleeping alone.
"Well, I was coming in here to get some sleep myself, but then I saw you…" Tony replies hesitantly. Last night had been a long night, with lots of pretty women and expensive drinks. Now he is tired. Keeping up appearances like that always takes a toll on his body. He can party with the best of them, but every now and then, even a billionaire needs some sleep.
"That is fine. I do not mind." Tentatively, Loki reaches out and brushes a hand, cold like ice, over Tony's far warmer hand. "I have to leave soon, anyways. I just wanted to come and check up on you for a bit."
Tony scoots closer to Loki, closer to his cold body. "What's it like being king of the gods?" he blurts out. But when he sees Loki's face, distorted by sudden anger and sadness, he wishes that he could take back his hasty words.
"Well, it is a lot of things," Loki replies after a time. "It is something that I have desired for a long time, ever since I knew that the Allfather Odin would one day give over his throne to either me or to Thor. So I feel a sense of contentment, in that I have attained something that I have long wanted. But I am also sad, for my brother is gone and Odin is in what you mortals call a coma. My brother and I were nigh-on inseparable as children, and, well, I thought that Odin was my father."
"He's not?" Tony asks, puzzled. When Loki first introduced himself, he called himself "Loki Odinsson," son of Odin.
Loki draws in a deep breath, and his hands seem to shake over Tony's. "I did not mean to slip up like that, forgive me. But it is true: I am not a true, by blood, son of Odin."
"Then who's your father?" Tony asks.
Loki sighs and closes his eyes against the incoming sunlight, streaming through the wide glass windows. "You will not know of whom I speak," he says quietly. "But perhaps…"
And then, it happens. Like a wave, blue spreads over Loki's skin, seemingly erasing his pale flesh. Ridges and runes appear across the blue canvas, telling an ages-old story of ice and snow. His hands grow so cold that Tony almost has to pull away, in fear of frostbite. Loki opens his eyes, then, and they are red instead of the usual green, and there is something in them that instantly judges Tony, asking, beggingfor a reaction that he dares not expect. And then, Tony knows just why Loki chooses to hide this wondrous blue visage from the outside world: he is scared.
So Tony does what he does best. He initiates physical contact, ghosting his fingers along Loki's face. Loki draws in a hesitant breath, his lips pressed firmly together.
"What are you?" Tony asks, tracing one of the runes with a fingertip.
"A Jotun," Loki answers. "A Frost Giant. But not even one of them, truly, for I am a runt by their standards. An outcast among the outcasts indeed."
Tony swallows, and he wonders how a single man can hold so much sorrow in his soul. And then he remembers that Loki is immortal, and perhaps immortals' souls are larger. In any case, Loki hurts, and Tony has felt much the same before.
"You're okay," Tony says. "You might be an outcast up there, in Asgard or wherever you're really from, but down here, with me, you're okay. Right? I'm not going to 'cast you out' or anything, just because you're sometimes blue and you get these mood swings and you might just be a little power-hungry."
Loki breaks into a smile. "You mortals are so endearing," he murmurs, reaching out a cold, blue hand to brush against Tony's cheek. Tony starts to wonder if maybe Loki is so tactile with him because he never got much love as a kid, growing up as one of the weakest – at least, physically – of the gods. It couldn't have been easy growing up with someone like Thor as his brother.
"I try," Tony laughs. "Are you okay now, Loki?" he asks, but he doubts Loki will ever be really okay. That's just how these things work, sometimes.
"I suppose. You definitely help lift my spirits, Anthony," Loki replies.
"How many times must I ask you to call me Tony?"
"Far too many. I am an ancient creature; I have rather old-fashioned ways!"
And then there is a knock at the bedroom door, and Loki leaps out of bed, straightening his clothes. Tony watches as he evens out his long coat and scarf, then leans down to slide his leather shoes back on.
"Do you have to leave?" Tony asks forlornly.
"I do not think that whoever is at the door will take too kindly to my presence, Anthony."
That reminded Tony that he ought to ask who was at the door, anyway. "Who's there?" he called out, trying to make his voice sound sluggish and half-asleep.
"It's just me. It's Pepper," the voice calls back, and she is clearly not fooled by his charade. Well, it was worth a shot.
"Give me a sec', okay?" Tony replies, sliding off the bed. There is no reply, and he goes to stand next to Loki. The two stand in front of the windows, looking out on the city below. Tony wonders if this is how all the universe looks to Loki when he is up in Asgard being king.
"Will you be okay?" Loki asks him, and Tony thinks that he should have been the one asking the question, not Loki, the man he was just trying to comfort, for God's sake, a few moments ago.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just got to be a playboy and philanthropist as usual, and, well, y'know. Save the world a bit." He quickly amends his statement. "More like a lot."
Loki smiles. "I will try to stay out of your way, Iron Man." His title sounds like flowing water on Loki's vocal chords, and he decides that he wants Loki to say his title as often as possible.
Pepper knocks on the door again. "Tony, you have a lot to do today!" she exclaims.
Tony turns around to face the door. "I'll be out soon, Pepper." He turns back to face Loki again, but the immortal is already gone, like dust in the wind.