Author's Note

Yooo ;) super short intro chappie :) will update soon promise... lolz maybe... :)

hmm pairing.. well read and rating T maybe M depends on me :D

it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved

based on that quote this fic :) is a multi chapter and yeahh enjoy :D

They've always said it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. An arguable quote I must say. Although I personally disagree, I have loved, am loving and will always love, but will that love ever last? I had love and lost it, lost it all, on that one faithful day. That moment, in which my heart shattered into a million tiny pieces, that moment when I realized the true feeling of losing a love, I had thought it'd be nothing easier and quicker. That's what they all say till they've really received and understood. Even to this day, I shed tears when I see that cheerful smile captured in that one picture. My heart aches when I stare into the blue sea that was her favorite. My mind wonders into a fantasy where she existed whenever I stare into the color of a deep violet that are- were the color of her bright sparkling eyes. How did this happen? I always asked myself. Where did we go wrong?

Thoughts of her lingered in my mind, memories we shared haunted me in my sleep. She's in a better place. I always thought to myself. The better place is NEXT TO ME! Was always the answer I given myself. Those years, the painstakingly long two years without her drove me to the edge. To brink of existence and always always I found a way to cling on to life. I always managed to live on, not for the sake of me, but for the sake of us. I knew if I died, her memories her heart, her being will go with me. Her existence and importance in this world depends solely on me. I had to carry on.

I had to carry

I repeated that phrase over and over again. Secretly wishing for my death…

Dear Dad

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I couldn't be a better son. So please, don't shed tears for the half of the man is your son. I'm sorry, I really am. You could deal with it, the loss of someone so dear. I am your son, so why I can't I. Believe me when I say I tried. I tried and tried, but I couldn't. I can't, she was everything…

I don't mean to hurt you more than I already have, and I don't mean to bother and burden with anything else, but I have one last wish. Please, don't forget me. For I am the link to her and you will be the last link to me. I don't want us to disappear from the memories of this Earth. I understand it's a grand task, but please, I beg of you, keep the promise I couldn't. Keep my last promise to her. To keep her alive in memories, please…

I'm sorry

From-Your son

I looked down on what seemed so inviting, the salvation that was luring me in. The ground calling my name, tempting me, death was so near. All I had to do was take a step. I closed my eyes and sighed. I looked down at my open palm, the warm smile that she once carried, and the ebony hair that perfectly lay across her face. The wide grin that suited her face flawlessly and more important in sparkle and charisma that shined through behind those brilliant violet orbs, I was mesmerized. I clutched on to the picture with dear life, tears flowing from my eyes, down my cheeks and into wind. I sobbed and sobbed. This was the end for me. I could no long live. "Rukia…" I whispered one last time.

"ICHIGO!" a familiar voice shouted behind me.

"Dad…" I whispered, tears now streaming out of my eyes. He knew where? How?

"STOP! YOU DON'T HAVE TO THIS!" the rest of his shouts were meaningless to me. I had already made up my mind.

"I can't live like this" I whispered, unsure of whether he heard or not.

I tighten my grip on the photo in my hand. "Wait for me" I said quietly to myself. "I'm coming Rukia…" I said before I let my body go, taken by gravity, I fell. Seconds seemed like an eternity. Wind blowing against me, past me and beyond here I come, salvation. This was the end of the twenty-two years spent on Earth. The end of me.

Author's Note

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-Loveless (lmfao... the ironyy...)