Red Arrows
Blood. There was a lot of it. It was everywhere. It was on everything. Every direction I turned my head, all I could see was blood.
I was nervous and reasonably so. Me, Aang, the "Almighty Avatar," and every other ridiculous title they have given me thus far. I was supposed to end the war. I was supposed to murder Fire Lord Ozai.
Murder.
I doubted whether I was even capable of such a thing. I pushed the thoughts from my mind. I did not want to know yet. I would find out when the time came. When the time came, maybe, just maybe, I could do what I had to do.
The Day of Black Sun. That's what Sokka's been calling it. I hate the name. The sun going dark. It isn't right. Not right at all. It was a beautiful day. The Fire Nation birds that Sokka was afraid of (for spying purposes) chirped happily. The sun, for the time being, was shining brightly overhead. A gentle breeze blew against my much lengthened hair.
The day was marked with anxiety from the moment that sun rose though. I could see it most particularly in Katara's eyes. The way she took everything in as if expecting it to be gone when she looked again. Toph, she was one with the earth like she never wanted to let it go. Sokka. Well, he's Sokka. Not much different from usual.
My fingernails were caked with vermillion red. Dried and muddy. It would never wash off. I would always have these memories stored away in my mind. I would always remember this day. Always remember these deaths. Always remember my fear.
The plan was simple. That's what they told me anyway. Our allies would create a diversion in the harbor and on land. We would enter the palace. We would find the Fire Lord. We would end him. Plans are never that simple. I should have known that from the start. I cannot help but think of Ba Sing Se. The brilliance with which Azula captured the last free Earth Kingdom city can never be matched. Not by me, not by Chief Hakoda, not by Sokka even. These are my enemies. Enemies who are smarter than me, stronger than me, better than me. And I can't even bend fire. I am dead.
But I went anyway. I went to the capital. It was ablaze. Smoke was everywhere. People running, screaming, crying. We flew over them, but we knew what was happening below us. The pain. The suffering. I don't want to even begin to describe it. It's so wrong. So very wrong.
I did not know how our allies fared. I did not know whether they were winning or losing. I did not know if they needed my help or if I should hurry and kill Ozai. I did not know anything. Sokka led me on. He told me I had to do this. That I could do this. That he would be right behind me.
Oh, Sokka, you lied. You said you'd be there. You said you'd be there. Damn you.
Katara promised that she would fight by my side. She promised that if she had to, she would bloodbend. I knew she hated it. I knew she didn't want to. But I also knew she would die for me. I did not want her to die for me. I wanted her to be safe. I wanted her to be far away from here. But I am selfish. I also don't want to do this without her. I want her strength on my side. Because I can't do this alone. I can't beat him alone. I can't. But I am alone. So very alone.
And I never told you. Damn it, I never told you. How much I loved you. Come back. Please come back.
Toph was coming too. There is no stopping an earthbender. There is no stopping a Toph. That sheer determination I have always loved. That has always pulled us through the bad times and the good. That has saved us so many times. I had only begun to learn from her. There is so much more to do and say. But she's coming. Because I'm selfish and even if I was selfless, I could never stop her. She's going to be there. Throwing rocks and causing mayhem. Like it's a game. But it's not a game. It's not a game at all.
So many things unsaid. You were like a sister. You were my opposite in a thousand ways. You were family. And you're gone. Damn it, you're gone.
There were four of us. On the last bison in the world. With a lemur. Even Momo would not abandon me.
The palace was empty when we landed. I never thought a palace could be so empty. Last time we tried something like this there were hundreds of guards and soldiers. Here, there was no one. We pondered only briefly before deciding which way to go. We went north, hoping it was the right way. At some point, we would find the man I was meant to murder.
"At some point" turned into an hour later. My feet hurt from running down the halls but I could not rest. Not yet. I had a job to do, a man to assassinate. An assassin. That's what I am. So they followed me in. Sokka, Katara, and Toph. All of them came. I could not make them go. And we attacked the evil man that was the source of all the world's misery.
But ending the life of one man can't save the world. His power. It's gone, but a hundred men will grapple to seize it. Who can be trusted with that much power? I don't know. I may never know. My hands are stained. I have killed. It cannot be me. I won't do it. But I may have to.
In the midst of the battle, all three of my friends, my family were struck down. I did not think they would not get up. I did not stop to watch. I assumed they would arise and fight. I did not notice until after Ozai was dead, that so indeed, was my family.
Sokka was splayed across the floor. His elbow was crooked and a large bleeding burn marked his torso. His eyes were glazed over. He was dead. Katara was only a few feet away. Her face was gone entirely. Never more would her ethereal beauty shine upon the earth. Toph was on the other side of the throne room, launched far away from the others. Her feet were bloody and torched. Her arms bled profusely. They were dead. All of them. And I was dead inside.
They promised they would be there for me. They promised they would be alive in the end. They promised to save the world. But they couldn't even save themselves. I couldn't save them. Me, the Avatar. Aang. I wasn't great or honorable. My friends were dead.
I let them die.
I'll have to run away. I can't return. Never. I should just go die. Then the next Avatar can live. Maybe the world can live. Perhaps that ought to be the way of things. A waterbender will become the Avatar. Waterbenders can heal.
If you were to look at me, you would see a battered twelve-year-old covered in blood. My face, my hands, my arms, my body. It's all red. Even the blue arrows which stood out so brightly are gone. They're red. I am no peaceful air nomad. I am a murder.
My arrows are red.