I know it's been at least a year since I last posted in here - I can't remember when I last updated Seductive Melodies - but I was looking through my documents folder and came across a half-finished angst fic I had started but never finished. I thought that it would be a good way to jump back into FanFiction and please the fans that enjoyed my previous work. Enjoy.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII or any of the characters, though if I had the money, I'd buy them off Square-Enix. But they're not mine. There, legal mumbo jumbo done.
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I never really did know exactly what happened. Over and over again, I replay the scene in my mind until my heart can't take it, and I weep in despair. I am a broken man: no longer was I the arrogant and self-conscious man that I was before.
I remember it all, even though I want to forget the day as if it had never happened. But I couldn't – my heart couldn't – Squall was too precious to me to merely will away. I watched the waves of the ocean crash onto the rocks, the spray flaring up and splashing onto me. The chill reminded me of Squall – the fabled ice prince.
My fabled ice prince.
Many noticed a change in my normally luxurious lifestyle. Before I strutted around with Squall wrapped into my chest; now I brooded, though still retaining a mask of arrogance, and I often slept in a pub after a dozen too many scotches, much to the anger of the employers.
Not that I really cared.
I had wandered to this place – a high cliff, shaded by trees and overlooking the sea – to remember my little lion. I have already decided that this would be the final time that I would come here. Squall was always on my mind – distracting my every day activities. It was time to let go…
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The smell of bleach and antiseptic was going to my head. I hated the dark silence of the group as we sat in the waiting room of a deserted hospital, and everyone was silently grieving in their own way. Quistis was holding Selphie, who was crying silently. Irvine was staring unblinkingly out of the window, his cowboy hat shadowing his eyes. Zell was practicing his martial arts – a common habit that he had to divert his thoughts.
Me – I just couldn't believe it to be true. I was sitting down on the ground, refusing to sit on a chair. I was fiddling with Squall's pendant in my hands – he left it behind the night the accident happened. It was pitiful – the way it all happened. He wanted to focus on the present, but his mind threw him back…
A passionate kiss, a hard rap on the door…
"I'll get it, Seifer…"
The hiss of the door opening, a sudden, single gunshot…
The rustling of sheets, pounding footsteps, girls screaming…
The moment went so fast. Those are the only things I can remember. The next thing I knew, I was in a hospital, clasping Squall's hand in shock. The shot was too heavy for any Cure spell, or any item, for that manner. The only thing that could be done was to call an ambulance.
I just sat, examining the Griever pendant, running through the sounds I knew over and over again. Finally, a doctor walked through the set of double doors, and we all looked towards him in unison.
The doctor approached us and sat down, sighing as he sat. He was silent for a moment, shaking his head.
"What's wrong with Squall?" I burst out, standing up quickly. "Is he alright?"
The doctor looked at me sadly. "The wound is a fatal one, I'm afraid." The doctor said solemnly. "Even if we did manage to heal it, his amount of blood loss is fatal. He only has a few hours left."
Quistis gasped, and Selphie buried her head into Quistis' chest, sobbing uncontrollably. Irvine and Zell were frozen in place. I showed no reaction, but inside, my heart was torn. My one…my only…Squall…
The doctor stood, now turning his attention to me. "He wants to see you," He said quietly, gesturing for me to follow him. I nodded slowly, following his lead.
I walked into Squall's cubicle, and I sighed as I saw him again. In my sorrow, I had forgotten his beauty, how feminine he looked. His pale skin was shining radiantly, and his brown hair was falling over his face.
I fell to my knees at his bedside, grabbing his hand. "Squall…" I breathed.
Squall registered my presence, turning his head slowly to look at me. I was mesmerized by the peacefulness in his icy stare, and I knew he wasn't fazed by a simple shot to the chest. He attempted to chuckle, but it turned out into a cough.
"Don't worry, Seifer," He spoke weakly. "It's only a wound. I'll be fine."
Even then, I was amazed by how little he cared for himself. I shook my head, adopting a cocky tone. "If only I was there to save your ass, Leonhart," I attempted to smirk, and failed miserably.
I tried to hold myself together, staring at the floor as tears dropped from my eyes. Squall noticed my pain, and squeezed my hand appropriately. I looked up for a moment, looking at Squall with a teary gaze. Summoning his strength, Squall leaned towards me and started a soft, passionate kiss.
I responded softly, cupping his face in my hands as I wormed my tongue into his mouth. Squall followed routine and did the same, softly pleasing ourselves for the last time.
I crawled into the bed beside Squall and held him tight, his hand clasping my own. We held on as tight as we could, and I clung to him desperately, willing for anything – anyone – to stop Squall from dying. But it wasn't to be.
The last hours of Squall's life were spent with me. His heart was beating with mine. My hand held his. We breathed as one. The world had seemingly disappeared as I held Squall tight, and I didn't notice the heart monitor slow down, and finally give out a long resounding tone.
The absence of Squall's breath was slight. His hand loosened from my own, and his pale skin lacked its heavenly glow. From that point, I knew that he was dead. The tears fell unrestrained, falling on Squall's pillow and into his hair, and I clung as tight as ever to Squall, as if hoping to stop my one love's soul escaping from his body…
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I couldn't remember anymore – that was the pain of it. The rest of my life would be weighed down by the sight of Squall's skin, the feel of Squall's hair...the presence of Squall's breath. I didn't know what to do to release myself from these thoughts. They seemed to be destined to linger with me and haunt my dreams forever.
They don't have to, Seifer.
I looked beside me. Squall stood there calmly, dressed as he normally would, smiling at him with the kinky smile that always turned him on in the morning. For a moment I said nothing – the shock of Squall returning to me was almost too much for me to bear.
"Squall…" I breathed, embracing him tightly. Squall held me back, nuzzling into my chest the way he always did. It was rejuvenating, holding Squall again, feeling his presence and stroking his pale skin. I kissed him lightly on top of his fluffy hair, holding him as if I would never let go.
The night wore on, and I continued to hold Squall. Time seemed to fly, the moon soaring through the sky as if propelled by rocket fuel. Soon, the sky was traced with pink, and I let go of him finally, holding him at arm's length.
"I thought I lost you," Seifer breathed, tears falling down his face.
You'll never lose me, Seifer. I'll always be here. I promise.
I say his name one last time to the cold air, Griever's steely surface lying still in my clasped hand as Squall faded into the dawn. I sunk to the ground, too hollow to weep, too miserable to care where I lay. Again and again, the night flashed before my eyes, taunting me with the fact that there was nothing that I could've done, nothing that he can do…nothing but to carry on.
Alone.
"This is all I am at this moment. I am but a witness to the final hours of the world."
FIN
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Read and review please. P.S. Seductive Melodies Chapter 8 is on its way. D