***This story involves a different take on what could have happened during Insurgent when Tris sneaks down to Four's room after having a bad dream about Will; I'm a dedicated Veronica Roth fan and own nothing; I loved all three books, but this scene draws me in, and I thought in a different more, grown-up version of the book, Tris might not have wanted to stop the intimacy she and Tobias are moving toward in this scene. Rated M for adult content but not super smutty (I hope you agree).
By the way, if anyone reading this message has been a fan of my Harry Potter stories, thank you so much for your patience. I have not written fanfiction in quite a while due to some changes at work as well as medical issues. I was inspired to churn this out after reading the final book in this trilogy; however, I do plan to resume work on my other stories as soon as possible. Thanks.***
From the book Insurgent, "C'mere," he says, sluggish from sleep. He shifts back on the bed to leave space for me…"Nothing is all right." His whisper tickles my cheek. "But we are." "Tobias," I say. But whatever I was about to say gets lost in my head, and I press my mouth to his because I know that kissing him will distract me from everything….He kisses my neck, and I grab his shoulder to steady myself, gathering his shirt into my fist…My shirt is twisted around his arm, and our kisses become desperate….Then his fingers brush the bandage on my shoulder, and a dart of pain goes through me. It didn't hurt much, but it brings me back to reality. I can't be with him in that way if one of my reasons for wanting it is to distract myself from grief."
My take begins here. Hope you enjoy it.
As if he can literally read my mind or more likely because he felt me shaking and noticed I was nervous, Tobias pulls back from kissing my neck to look into my eyes. "Are you okay? We can stop anytime you want," he whispers.
The combination of tenderness with which he says it, the way I know he means it, and the way he looks at me changes my mind right then and there. Though being with Tobias physically will no doubt distract me from my grief, it's not even close to the only or most important reason I want to be with him in that way. I love him. He completes me. So I look in eyes and say exactly what I'm feeling, "No, don't stop. Please don't stop." I'm not quite sure what I'm agreeing to outside of the fact that I honestly do not want him to stop.
Tobias grins at me and goes back to kissing my neck. His hand is still inside my shirt running up and down my back. When his lips find their way back to my mouth, our kisses resume full of passion and desperation. Truth be told, I'm terrified. I'm not sure where all this physical closeness is leading, but I know I've never done anything like it before. In Abnegation, you couldn't even hold hands before marriage. My one real comfort in this moment is knowing that Tobias is just as inexperienced in this department as I am, though he sure doesn't seem that way. Everything he is doing is amazing.
Slowly in what I know is an effort to allow me to stop him if I want to, Tobias begins to bring his hand from my back around my side to my front under my shirt, which has now inched up my stomach even further to just below my breasts. So lightly as if he's worried he'll break me he moves his hand onto one of my breasts. The feeling and thought of it both illicit a moan I can't contain. I never thought I'd be this close to anyone. Tobias is now kissing my neck near my ear while still gently caressing me. "Does that feel good?" he says quietly. "Yes," I answer breathlessly and honestly. "Good," he says. "Because I have no idea what I'm doing." Again—it's like he can read my mind.
We both giggle at his admission, and I'm grateful to lighten the intensity if only for a moment. He releases my breast in order to pull me into a hug. We look into each other's eyes. "Could have fooled me," I say smiling at him. "Well," he replies. "I guess some things just come naturally, especially since I've only thought about being with you like this about a million times since the moment we met."
"Really," I say genuinely surprised. I'm not accustomed to people thinking that way about me. "Are you kidding?" Tobias replies. "I had to take a cold shower every night starting the day you jumped off that roof first." I smile so flattered and still in awe that someone like Tobias, so strong and kind and attractive, could feel that way about me.
I'm not exactly sure what prompts me to get so serious again, but it just feels right. "I love you, Tobias," I say. It's the first time I've told him that though not the first time he's said it to me. He smiles so big; And, I can't help but mimic him. "I love you too," he says and captures my lips again.
Within moments we are right back to where we were tangled around each other. I reach for the hem of his shirt. "Take this off," I say not sure where I got the nerve to do so. Tobias smiles and lets go of me long enough to sit up and shed his shirt tossing it toward the foot of the bed. It's not the first time I've seen him shirtless, but it still takes my breath away. He is so beautiful it hurts to look at him. As he lies back down he says hopefully, "Could I convince you to do the same?" My cheeks flush red but I nod my head yes. I copy his move sitting up enough to pull the shirt over my head and drop it on the floor. Then I don't know what to do. I'm naked expect for my panties. As I lie back down, Tobias pulls me close once again shifting us slightly so I am mostly positioned under him. "You are breathtaking," he says. The crazy thing is that though I don't believe that about myself for a moment, I believe it when he says it. I know he really feels that way, and it makes my heart sing. Being pressed up against him skin on skin feels amazing. I run my hands up and down his back, and he sighs. I know every tattoo.
We start making out again and his hands find their way back to my breasts. I can feel his hardness through his sleep shorts pressed up against my leg. It's terrifying and intoxicating all at the same time. I know the basics of sex and though I'm not sure that's what's about to happen, being in this moment is making my head spin. Tobias pulls back from kissing me. "You're shaking," he says looking into my eyes. I hadn't realized it this time, but he's right. My hands and entire body are slightly shaking. "You okay?" he asks.
"Yes," I say quickly embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I'm fine, I promise. I'm just nervous." My cheeks flush. "Hey, don't be embarrassed," he says. "I'm nervous, too," he says rubbing my cheek with his hand and brushing my hair out of my face. I turn my face more into his hand and close my eyes. I want to be with him so bad, but I can't help but be scared. Tobias breaks the silence. "I'm going to say something that sounds a little awkward, but it might help," he says. I perk up opening my eyes to look at him. "I'm listening," I say intrigued. Tobias starts slowly and it's clear he's not quite sure how to phrase what he wants to say. "Okay," he says. "I'm not quite sure where your head is at, so I hope this doesn't offend you, but I don't have any sort of protection, so I think we should take sex off the table." I smile widely as I know it was a hard thing for him to say. I'm also relieved. I want that closeness with him, but I wasn't sure I was ready, and his responsible nature makes me fall in love with him a little more right then. "Okay," I say nodding my head. "But," he continues less shy since my response was positive, "if you want to try some other stuff, I'm open to that."
I smile again. "I'm open to that, too," I say quietly, but I then admit honestly, "I just don't really know much about that other stuff." He smiles sweetly and continues to run his thumb over my cheek. "Hey, like I told you before this is all new to me too." He's referring to the time after the final stage of Dauntless initiation when I accused him of just wanting sex, which I know now was an insane accusation. "The only reason I really have a clue about any of it is because Dauntless guys love to brag about their conquests." We both laugh at that, and I know he's right. I know sex in Dauntless is much less taboo than Abnegation, and people do talk about it freely. "How about this?" he offers. "I try something I think you might like, and if you don't, then you can stop me, and I promise to not try anything again until you tell me you're ready." Sounds fair to me I think. "Deal," I say smiling. He smiles too then leans down to kiss me.
His kiss is slow and consuming. He slides his tongue into my mouth, and I feel like I'm melting. I sigh loudly and run my hands up and down his muscular bare back. He kisses me like that for a few more minutes relaxing me to the point that I feel like fluid. His hands are running slowly up and down my body, and it feels so good I can barely breathe. He removes his mouth from mine and begins to kiss me down my jaw, then my neck, then my collarbone on all three of my raven tattoos. His head dips even lower, and I feel his warm mouth on one of my breasts. "Oh," I say sighing, not able to help it, and I can feel him smiling against my skin. He moves over me to the other side. I run my fingers through his short hair and continue my involuntary "mmm's" and "ohs." I've never felt anything like this before, and I'm too excited at this point to feel embarrassed. Tobias slides his head back up to kiss my neck, face and mouth while sliding his hand further down my body across my stomach to the top of my panties.
I take a deep breath anticipating what's about to happen. I can't help but be nervous. I've never been this close to anyone. "Remember," he says softly in my ear. "You are in charge. If you want me to stop, I will." "I know," I whisper. "It's okay." With my permission, Tobias gently slides his hand into my underwear. He presses down lightly parting me with his middle finger and rubbing gently. I immediately clutch his shoulders. It feels so good I can hardly believe it. He continues and my breaths come quicker and heavier by the second. I don't even know what sounds I'm making as I've never made them before. Tobias continues kissing me lightly on my neck and collarbone. He starts moving just a touch faster, and I feel a swelling in my belly I've never felt before. I lay my head back on the pillow shutting my eyes tightly and moaning, my breath quicker every second resisting the urge to scream it feels so good. That must mean something to Tobias because he changes what he's doing. He slides his hand down further slowly and gently pushing one finger inside of me while his thumb stays where his finger was moments before. I can barely think at that point. What's he's doing feels so natural and amazing and that swelling gets bigger and bigger until suddenly I literally feel like I burst. I moan louder than I feel comfortable with pulling Tobias towards me so I can stifle it into his shoulder. I cling tightly to him riding out what I'm experiencing. His hand is still in place, but he's stopped moving it now. I breathe deeply until my breath is back to normal. As I calm down, Tobias gently removes his hand from my panties and hugs me close.
My eyes have been clinched tightly, and when I finally open them letting out a final deep breath, Tobias is looking at me smiling widely. "Wow," I say grinning back not being able to help it. "That was….what was that?" Tobias laughs slightly and kisses my cheek. He brushes my hair out of my face. "Well," he says slowly looking into my eyes. "If I'm not mistaken, I believe you just had an orgasm." I've heard that term before associated with sexual activity, but I honestly had no idea what it really meant or certainly what it would feel like. I hug him close and say, "That was amazing." He can't stop smiling. "I'm so glad," he says. "It's a huge turn-on to see you that way," he admits. "Really?" I say back. "Absolutely," he says gathering me close, and I can feel the evidence of what he's saying pressing against my leg again.
I suddenly feel empowered knowing I'm what's causing his physical reaction and slide my hand down to gently cup him through his shorts. Tobias sighs and clears his throat and puts his hand over mine. "Tris, that's not why I said that," he says. "You don't have to do anything to me." "I know," I said knowing he means that. "I want too." And, I do. I want to show him the same affection he's just shown me. I need to show him.
"Show me what to do," I request. I have a pretty good idea, but I'm not quite sure how to please him the way he did me, so I need him to guide me. Tobias takes a deep breath putting his forehead against mine. "Are you sure?" he says quietly, which makes me giggle. His tone is so serious it's like he's asking me if I'm sure I want to do something super dangerous. "Yes," I say emphatically. "I'm sure." He pulls his face away from mine and smiles. "Okay," he says finally believing me.
His hand is still on mine. He takes it gently moving it first up them under the waistband of his shorts and wraps my hand around him. He groans immediately as I slightly tighten my grip. "Oh, God," he says sinking his head back on the pillow. I smile. I have barely touched him and he already seems to like it. Suddenly I have an urge to see him. His room is mostly dark, but there's a small window with just enough moonlight streaming in. I release my grasp for just a moment and he immediately lifts his head and looks up at me with a concerned face worried I suppose that I've changed my mind. Before he can ask though, I tug on the top of his shorts and say, "help me take these off." He blinks at me clearly shocked by my request, but he complies. He lifts himself up slightly and helps me free his legs so he is now naked. He lightly kicks his shorts to the bottom of the bed.
I can't help but stare. I've never seen a naked man before, so I don't really have a frame of reference, but I'm pretty sure that even if I saw 100 or 1000, no one could compare. He is perfect, and I tell him so. "You are perfect," I say looking in his eyes. He swallows hard and then pulls me down to his face for a kiss. I wrap my hand back around him. He puts his hand on top of mine and starts to gently slide it up and down showing me what to do. As soon as it's clear I understand the gist of it, he let's go and threads his hand through my hair deepening our kiss. I continue to gently stroke him. After a few minutes I feel a few drops of warm liquid. I'm not sure how I know to do this, but it just feels right, so I take my thumb and use it to spread the liquid, which makes what I'm doing even easier. It must be the right thing to do because Tobias loses focus and has to stop kissing me. He drops his head back on the pillow his eyes closed. I stare at his face while increasing the speed of what I'm doing just slightly. "Oh, Tris," he almost growls. The way he says my name ignites me, and I take it as an invitation to keep doing exactly what I'm doing. Maybe two minutes later Tobias is making noises similar to mine earlier and then suddenly I feel him tighten and release. A lot more of the warm liquid spills out onto my hand and his stomach. I slow and ultimately stop my movement. Tobias is breathing hard. His eyes are still closed, and his hand is across his forehead.
All I can think is wow. I love that I was able to make him have an orgasm the way he did with me. He was right about it being a turn on. I'm staring at his handsome face when he finally slows his breathing and opens his eyes. He grins the moment we lock eyes. "Thank you," he says. I laugh and snuggle my nose into his neck. "You're welcome." I still haven't moved my hand. "Don't move," he says. He leans up slightly and his long arms are able to reach his shirt where he discarded it earlier. He gently removes my hand and wipes it off and then wipes off his stomach before balling up the shirt and launching it toward the bathroom door to deal with later. He then pulls me close and starts kissing me on my mouth, cheeks, neck, everywhere. In between each kiss he stutters, "Oh" kiss "my God" kiss "that" kiss "was" kiss "incredible." I'm giggling and giddy. "I'm so glad," I say repeating what he said to me earlier. "That was fun," I add. He pulls back to look at me. "Yeah, it was," he says.
We kiss and snuggle for a while longer until I'm getting starting to nod off. "Sleep," he says finally, kissing my forehead. "I'll fight the bad dreams if they come." "With what?" I ask. "My bare hands obviously," he grins, and I laugh. I reach over to retrieve my shirt from the floor while he does this same with his shorts. Once we are situated and mostly clothed again, he wraps me tightly in his arms, and I quickly start to fall asleep against his shoulder breathing in his scent, which makes me feel warm and safe all over. "I love you, Tris," he says as I'm slipping off. "I love you, too," I manage to reply and then sleep peacefully for the first time in a long time.
*Obviously takes some liberties with the plot, but I hope you liked it.*