Hello Children. Hola amigos. How y'all doing? Good, I hope. (Hope anyone out on the East Coast is safe and warm tonight. You have all my happy thoughts on this day.) This is just what it is. Something nice and happy. The song is When I'm Gone by Lulu and The Lampshades... or whatever they call themselves, but the version I racked up 300 listens to is the Anna Kendricks one from Pitch Perfect, which Oh. My. God. you need to go see. The words mean nothing, I just happen to think the tone, pace and rhythm of the song is beautiful. Also, sung in Angie Harmon's voice... I die a little just thinking about it.
On that note, I love them both. Sasha Alexander tweeted me once, I'm fairly certain I died a little bit that day too.
So, here is my offering to appease Sandy. Though I secretly think Sandy is the earth's punishment for Jersey Shore. Seriously. Be safe my friends, and make good choices.
-Cooper.
It had been a long day at work for Maura Isles. The hours had passed slowly, and seemed to drag on as she performed autopsy after autopsy. But it wasn't that either.
She missed her family. The routine of being with her baby day in and day out. She missed the way Jane would kiss her as she got home from the precinct, and the way the brunette detective would gently take their son and start telling him about her day. The sight never failed to take her breath away and swell the waves of love that rolled through her.
As the birth mother, she had spent the first six months with Jake at home, watching him grow, getting into a routine and spending her days making their house a home with the small baby to take care of.
Then it was Jane's turn as Maura went back to work. That first day was the hardest. She had sat crying in her office for an hour out of sheer emotion and the physical longing to see her baby.
Eventually, she got a picture text from Jane of Jake smiling in the tub. Though she knew it wasn't a real smile, just a reflex of emotions, but the splayed dark curls, shining blue eyes and grin made her heart melt. It also provided the prompt for her to stand, clean her face and get her job done so she could go home. Once there, she grabbed a sleeping Jake from Jane's arms and sank into the embrace of Jane, who held her tightly while she quietly shed her tears.
It had gotten easier every day, but everyday before today had ended right at five o'clock. She kept her high standards, but was more willing to pass off simpler duties, such as closing and lab results and paperwork to her assistants. Today had been awful. She felt bad for the five people in morgue, but she really wanted to get home.
Driving home carefully she wanted to speed, but decided to be careful instead, she navigated the streets of Boston rather impatiently heading to their Beacon Hill home.
Once inside, Maura set the alarm for the security system, and by-passed the kitchen with her dinner in the oven, making her way upstairs, past the tilted heads of Bass and Jo as she sped past without her customary hello to either of them.
Walking quickly upstairs, she wanted to get back to her baby and her wife, to unwind from her day, and to reassure herself of their love. She knew that these feelings were irrational, would blame it on the latent hormones coursing through her body, but she needed to just see them. Set her eyes on the dark haired baby that was genetically hers, but so Rizzoli in looks. She could also self-reflect and notice that these thoughts were thoughts that she had never thought she would think.
It was so very motherly and emotional, and she didn't do well with emotions. Nor did Jane, she could summize, but together they balanced it out. Jane with her bullheaded approach to everything, and she, Maura, with her logical approach to everything, they found a happy medium in the overabundant love they had for their son.
And each other. Jane was her rock. Her solid foundation where her irrationalities were no longer and issue because the brunette detective helped her to be sure in whatever she felt and held dear. Maura was sure that she had the same affect on Jane, in a different manner, but the safety aspect. There was no safer place in the world than the arms of her wife.
As she reached the top of the stairs, Maura could make out the faint strains of Jane's voice singing. She could also hear the soft whimpers of Jake's voice carrying under Jane's singing, and she stopped just outside the nursery to listen to what Jane was doing to soothe the baby.
I got my ticket for the long way round
Two bottles of whiskey for the way
And I sure would like some sweet company
And I'm leaving tomorrow whatdya say
Maura knew this song only from Jane. What most people didn't know about her Jane, is that Jane was a singer. She was very often not the best singer in the world. But she could carry a tune well, and she could sing on key. She's not quite sure where the song is from, its tune was simple and carried well, but could hear the changes in Jake's protests as he settled down. Slowly, hoping to avoid the creaky floorboard just outside the nursery, she stuck her head into the darkened room.
Jane was silhouetted against the window, her back turned towards the door as she swayed softly on the spot. Maura's heart constricted then expanded rapidly and painfully fast at the sight, love swelling her entire being for the sight in front of her.
When I'm gone, when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.
You're gonna miss my by my hair,
you're gonna miss me everywhere
you're gonna miss me when I'm gone.
Jane started singing again and Maura had to fight the urge to walk into the room, to take both of them in her itching arms. She wanted just to wrap baby Jake in her arms and kiss Jane, be held by her, tight and warm and safe.
I got my ticket for the long way round
The one with the prettiest of views
It's got mountains, it's got rivers,
It's got sights to give you shivers
But it sure would be prettier with you
Maura couldn't resist anymore. She stepped into the room, Jane didn't seem to be surprised by the intrusion, instead, her deep timbre continued on and she enveloped Maura into her arms, tucking her close to the baby. Maura lifted one of her arms to wrap it under Jane's arm that was holding Jake, and her other arm wrapped around Jane's waist holding her family tight to her as Jane sang on.
This was a side that she felt privileged to see in Jane. She'd known that Jane was apprehensive for the arrival of their son. She was the one who initially brought up children and the idea of having children, was an active participant throughout the whole pregnancy and was there when he was born and held tightly to him for the first forty eight hours of his life when he wasn't eating or having his diaper changed.
More than once Maura had seen tears in Jane's eye as she held tightly to their baby, whispering to him and singing softly to him.
But Maura knew her Jane. Knew that while everything pointed to Jane being a wonderful mother, insecurity raged through Jane. Maura could see it in her eyes, and the slump of her shoulders whenever something didn't go well. Maura tried to assuage those fears, those doubts, and she felt her words make a difference… for a little while.
This Jane was confident. This Jane knew what her baby needed, and she looked and sounded, amazing and this Jane made Maura so happy and feel so lucky that she got to be with Jane.
When I'm gone, when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.
You're gonna miss me by my walk
you're gonna miss me by my talk
you're gonna miss me when I'm gone.
When Jane finished, they stayed wrapped in each other's arms, Jake between them.
"Hey," Jane whispered, squeezing the arm around Maura's shoulders.
"Hello." Maura whispered back, tucking her head into the crock of Jane's neck, trailing her nose alone the smooth skin there, breathing in the smell of her wife.
"How are you?" Jane asked, kissing the top of Maura's head.
"So much better now that I'm with you." Maura turned and kissed Jane's neck. "Now that I'm home."