Anime AM Radio News

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these people other than Bob and Tom. The Fire Guardian and I have
come a long way creating these two strange characters, so please do not take them without
consulting us first. This is my first normal disclaimer.

~

You are driving in your car (I don't care if you're underage) when you hear a new radio
station was opening up. You turn to that station, right on time. Prepare to get freaked.

Bob: ::voice goes deeper:: Dun, Dun,
Tom: ::voice goes higher:: Dun, Dun, Du -voice cracks-
Bob: Uh Tom?
Tom: Yeah?
Bob: Stop. You're scaring the viewers.
Tom: Viewers? You're not on TV.
Bob: Oh yeah.
Tom: *clears throat* Anyway, this is Anime News, bring you to the latest in the anime world.
Bob: We'll be on every hour, ten to the hour.
Tom: Huh?
Bob: Just shut up. Anyway, let's get on with the stories. Tom, will you do the Criminal News?
Tom: Yes I will. An alien by the name Freeza has been arrested for trying to kill the president.
He claims that he has the right to rule the universe and conquering Earth would be the first step.
What he does not know is that the President of the US is not the ruler of the world. He has been
charged with Murder 1 and illegal use of make-up. This father, King Cold, has been caught
drinking while driving a spaceship by the Galaxy Police. Unfortunately, he got away because Mihoshi
was searching her pockets for paper. She wanted an autograph.
Bob: An autograph? Why would she want that?
Tom: King Cold managed to convince her that he was the ruler of the universe.
Bob: ::sigh:: Figures.
Tom: Moving on, a sudden fight was erupted when a man claiming to be the Perfect Soldier said
that he could one and one beat up a woman claiming to be called some one by the name of Sailor
Uranus. The two mysterious people decided to a duel at dusk. Don't ask. The Perfect Soldier
agreed on no weapons, but later broke that rule when he pulled out a machine gun and began firing
insanely at this so-called Sailor Uranus. It looked like he was about to win when a tidal wave
from the moon swept him away. It was, actually, a girl claiming to be Sailor Neptune standing
on the roof of a building. We have a live clip from this scene:

Sailor Neptune: Step away Perfect Soldier! Under the sea star Neptune, I am Sailor Neptune!
-suddenly, you hear a new voice-
The voice: How dare you hurt the Perfect Soldier! I am Shinigami and I shall save him!
Perfect Soldier: What are you doing here Duo?
Shinigami: Quiet, you're ruining my entrance.
Sailor Neptune: How dare you hurt Sailor Uranus! In the name of the planet Neptune, I shall
punish you!
Shinigami: And in the name of...er...in the name of what Heero?
Perfect Soldier: Just say your gundam!
Shinigami: *clears throat* In the name of Deathscythe, I shall...kill you!
Perfect Soldier: That's my line!
Shinigami: Hey, you come up with something better!
-end-

Tom: No charges were made.
Bob: Okay, that was disturbing. Now, before we go on to entertainment, we have a brief-
Tom: Very Brief-
Bob: Very, Very, Brief-
Tom: Very-
[[DAMN IT, JUST GET ON WITH THE COMMERCIALS!]]

~*~

-you hear a horrible screeching noise in the backround-
Duo: Is that a dying animal?
-the screeching continues-
Duo: No, that's the sound of Quatre's first viole-
Quatre: Duo! That's not the commercial!
Duo: -I mean, that's the sound of an animal laughing at you. Just because you paid to much for
the wrong coffee. Next time, choose Maxwell's Brand Coffee. It's so good, you'll want to die.
Quatre: Great, now no one's gonna buy it.

-a distant rumbling in heard-
Rei: Is that the sound of Serena's stomach?
-the rumbling continues-
Rei: Actually, it is.
Serena: REI!!!
Rei: I mean, no, it's the sound of the earth laughing at you.
Serena: How can the earth laugh?
Rei: Shut up Meatball head! It's in the script! *ahem* It's laughing at you because...
[[what's wrong?]]
Rei: Are you sure I have the right script?
[[Well...not really...why?]]
Rei: It saids: Start break-dancing here.
-silence-
[[Forget it. Just end the damn commercials]]

~*~

Bob: -and then I said to her, "Damn, you're hot. Wann-
Tom: Bob!
Bob: What?
Tom: We're back on the air.
Bob: Oh. Sorry.
Tom: Anyway, the entertainment news is next. Bob?
Bob: *ahem* Rumors have the spread that Wufei Chang, also known as gundam pilot 05, once been
former rock star, Michael Jackson. (It's true! Bella once said he looked like Michael Jackson
with his hair down)
-silence-
Bob: Ooookkay then. The Three Lights were putting on a concert yesterday night when a short man
when blonde, spiked hair that resembled a flame, actually flew in and threatened to blow
everything up if he did not get what he wanted.
Tom: What did he want?
Bob: The buffet.
Tom: Anyway, that's all for now. Tune in next time!
Bob: Ciao!

You give the radio a strange look and turn it off.

~
That sucked.