SUMMERY: This fic was written in '03 so of course it doesn't match up to the events that take place in X3. But all in all the story's pretty fun I think.
Once a year the X-men and brotherhood set aside their differences and work together at a homeless shelter on Christmas day.
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: All characters in this story are not mine they won't make me any money! I'm only allowed play with them if I promise not to break them.
IT'S A PEACE ON EARTH GOODWILL TO ALL KINDA THING
BY LINDA J.
All in all Pyro got along with his new so called family pretty well. Sure there were those tense moments when it seemed like leaving Xavier's School for the Gifted was a tragic mistake, some very painful moments at that- but over all Pyro was pretty happy as a member of the brotherhood. One thing that especially pleased him was no one made a big fuss over the holidays.
Oh how he hated living at x-mansion during the holidays! Every year it started with a Halloween party and it didn't seem to end until New Years day! It was an endless bombardment of festivities; singing, decorating, eating, and gift giving that made him feel as if he were living in a regular Yule tide hell! But here it was much different. Pyro figured it may have been because the group's alpha male, Magneto was Jewish. No reason for him to recognize any of the traditional Christian holidays, especially when he considered how badly Christians persecuted Magneto's people over the centuries. At least Pyro knew that's how he would have felt.
Besides, Christmas was nothing but commercialism at its worst! A way to get people to buy a bunch of crap that they didn't need for a bunch of people they really didn't care about. Yep, the brotherhood had it right; leave the holidays to the weasels and the witless. Except for Halloween- now that was a holiday 'Tooth and Toad knew how to do right! No costumes, they didn't need them. Just go around from place to place starting trouble and raising hell; leaving behind them a trail of misery, destruction and woe. This year they even brought along Pyro, their little bro to join in the fun. But unfortunately he could remember only bits and pieces of their night of terror. It wasn't the first time Pyro got drunk but he certainly ended up with worst hang-over he ever had. The only thing he clearly remembered of that night was torching some Sorority house and watching all those college chicks run outside wearing only whatever they slept in. He didn't even remember the ride back to the lair; just waking up the next morning with his mouth feeling like an ashtray and to this day neither 'Tooth or Toad has told him why they now occasionally refer to him as "Pee-Wee".
But everyone did their own thing at Thanksgiving. Mystique was stuck in DC playing her role as Sen. Kelly; Sabretooth had left early in the month to do those "jobs" no one talked about then supposedly spent the holiday with some woman preacher he met a couple of years ago; and Magneto disappeared early that morning to who knows where. It was about this time that Toad started taking the role of big brother to John rather proudly. The two ended up taking in a couple of movies and eating at a Chinese restaurant then just drove aimlessly around town for the rest of the night. Not once had there been a single mention of Santa Claus, or jingle bells, or eggnog or Rudolf. All was right with Pyro's world and for once he thought that Dec 25th would pass by him in blissful silence. He was wrong.
It started innocently enough with Toad beating on his bedroom door at 4:30 in the morning. "C'mon Pee Wee got a mission for you."
'Mission huh?' Pyro liked the sound of that. Magneto had not yet put him on any official mission since joining the brotherhood because he wasn't sure if the boy was ready for the challenge. But having that in mind, it only made good sense to make a strike on Christmas day, most everyone's at home today and security would probably be working on a skeleton crew; any mission should go off smooth as silk. But talk about telling someone at the last minute! Pyro guessed Mags' may be testing his sense of adaptability as well as readiness to be prepared at any given moment. Well if this was a test, then this was one mission Pyro determined he wasn't going to go down in flames!
He was up and out of his room by 4:37 and practically rushing Toad out the door. "C'mon old man, get a move on!"
Toad did a double take when he heard someone for the first time in his life ever call him 'old man'. "Who are you calling old man?"
"You." Pyro plainly stated as he started putting on his jacket. "Is anyone else coming along on this mission?" Toad smirked at the way Pyro proudly stressed the word 'mission' and reached in his pocket for his keys and together they headed toward his brand new Mitsubishi Spyder. "We'll meet up with ev'ryone once we're there."
"Where we are going?" Pyro asked as soon as he got in the car, immediately he began rummaging through Toad's box of CDs. "We're 'eading back to the big apple mate. And leave my shit alone!"
"But I always check out your CDs Toad!" Pyro then tried to flatter the slightly greenish colored mutant. "You've got the coolest taste in music, bro." Toad nodded his head in approvingly. "And if I ever find any of my CDs in your room again you'll find my boot up your thieving arse!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, so…" Pyro decided this was a great time to change the subject. "…is this mission dangerous?"
Once again Toad nodded. "Possibly."
"Really?" Pyro perked up. "Are we going to kill anyone?" Toad couldn't help but chortle. "God I hope not! Ummm…It's not that kind of mission."
Toad's explanation didn't make any sense to Pyro. "Not that kind of a mission? Well, what other kind of missions do we go on?"
Toad carefully thought of his answer. "I-i-i-t's-s-s a…goodwill mission."
Instantly Pyro's enthusiasm dropped like a brick. "A goodwill mission?" He dryly repeated as he found his lighter and began to fiddle with its lid. "We're called the brotherhood of evil mutants Toad! E-v-i-l mutants! Since when do we go on goodwill missions?"
"Since about five years ago..." But before Toad could go into a deeper explanation Pyro hastily and defiantly interrupted. "Erik's Jewish, so what's he doing expecting us to do goodwill on Christmas?"
"Look…" Toad's voice was beginning to sound quite agitated. "…being one religion or another has nothing to do with showing a little kindness to those worse off than you regardless of what day it is, you over privileged American prick!"
Insulted, Pyro threw him self back into his seat and pouted in silence; neither one of them said another word for the next several miles. Once Toad calmed down, he tried to make Pyro understand it wouldn't be such a bad way to spend his day.
"Ah it's not so bad mate; trust me. It all started out as a bet we 'ad with those x-wimps five years ago. Well long story short- we lost- and the wager was to do volunteer work at a 'omeless shelter on Christmas day. It turned out that we all 'ad a blast and we've done this ev'ry year since.
Pyro couldn't help but point out one very important detail. "I think the choice word in your sentence would be –volunteer! And I for one don't recall volunteering my happy ass to work in some homeless shelter! That's the kind of crap Xavier's punks do; and I dam sure didn't volunteer any of my time while I was there either!"
Toad's grin broadened as wide as it could. "That's the difference b'tween us and them chum. When we say, volunteer we mean you'll do it like it or not. And oh, by th' way- we'll be working side by side with your "x"-buddies and that means t'day's strictly seize fire; so whatever you do Pee-Wee, no flame throwing t'day."
A disappointed Pyro remained quiet as they drove on into New York City. With it being so early on Christmas morning, traffic was light and they made it into the city in good time. Toad elected to park his prize possession in a safe parking lot and take the subway into the inner city. It wasn't until they were riding the subway that either mutant said a word. By now Pyro had accepted he wasn't getting out of this so called mission. "Fine;" He resigned with a sigh. "…so what will I be doing there?"
"Well it all depends on where they need us most. Except for 'Tooth who ALWAYS cooks…" Pyro interrupted. "I thought you said we wouldn't be killing people today." His joke made Toad laugh. "Don't worry, as long as 'e keeps that 'air net in place, its safe to eat whatever the over-sized fur ball cooks. Besides, you'd be surprised what a good cook 'Tooth can be."
"No thanks." Pyro insisted. "My diet doesn't include raccoons or possums or squirrels or weasels or anything else "Jethro" catches!" Toad just shook his head in fake sympathy. "Too bad for you mate; you just don't know a good meal when you see one; even if it's trying to run away from you."
When they arrived at the shelter, it was only around 6am. They went inside and met the head coordinator for the shelter's Christmas day events. She instructed them to go into the community room and look for Bobby and Marie. They found the community room quickly enough. It was a very large rectangular room that for the moment was bare with a small stage at the far end of the room and a cafeteria style food line along the adjacent wall.
Pyro and Toad saw the junior x-men on the far corner of the stage putting up an aluminum Christmas tree one branch at a time. Instantly Pyro and Toad began to snicker when they saw both Bobby and Rogue were wearing what Pyro thought was the silliest, dorkiest, dumbest looking elf costume he ever saw! Right down to the green leotards and pointed green slippers that curled up at the toes and had a large jingly bell on their tips! Those shoes combined with the humiliated looks on their faces only made both of the evil mutants snicker even harder. When he and Toad walked up to speak to them it took every bit of restraint they both had not to burst out laughing hard enough to fall down on the floor and roll around like mad dogs! Pyro had to look away for a minute while Toad couldn't help but say, "It ain't easy being green is it?"
Pyro sucked in his lips and bit them together but it didn't help entirely as his snicker forced its way out of his nose and he ended up sounding like an elephant's trumpet. "You think we look silly?" Rogue curtly informed them. "Just wait till one of you gets to be the third elf." Their snickering instantly stopped. Toad didn't hesitate for one second to turn around and inform John that the elf costume would be much too small for a man of his muscular build, even if he hadn't seen the dam thing yet.
"Well there's NO way in hell you're getting me into that getup!" Pyro warned as he began backing up and instinctively reached for his lighter, but even though he only meant to scare them off, the lighter was suddenly jolted from Pyro's hand as Toad grabbed it with his long sticky tongue. "Hey give that back, Wart!" Pyro demanded. "I wasn't really going to use it on 'em."
"Best remember that bloat." Toad coolly reminded his younger accomplice. "All the same I think I'll hold onto this for now."
"But I…"
"But nothing young man!" Everyone heard a stern but regal sounding gentleman's voice coming from behind. Pyro turned and saw Magneto dressed in a sharp looking black silk suit, strolling along side Charles as he maneuvered his wheelchair towards the small group of mutants. "You won't need that toy of yours today Pyro, so…" Suddenly John's lighter floated out of Toad's hand and into Magneto's. "I'll hold on to this for safe keeping."
"That's not fair!" Pyro protested. "Fair?" Erik tilted his head slightly and began to ask the boy a few questions of his own. "Is it fair that a boy half your age has no home to go to tonight? His bed is a cardboard box that he shares with his sister and mother? Is it fair that there are families around the world that haven't enough food to survive on for one more day? My boy, please tell me what's fair about their circumstances than perhaps I'll show more sympathy for yours."
John hung his head in defeat. Even though he couldn't understand how spending his day here would help THOSE people or especially why dressing up like a really stupid looking elf would make THEIR lives any better, John understood he wasn't going to win this argument in a million years! "I want it back by the end of the day."
His demand came out sounding about as assertive as a puppy's yip who was confronting the alpha wolf of the pack. Erik of course gave his lesser no reply.
"John, go with Rogue." Charles recommended to the young man. "She can give you your costume and show you where you can change." And just like a puppy that had been beat, John followed behind Rogue with his tail curdled between his legs.
They walked from the day room, and took a short cut through the kitchen where Pyro saw many of his old school mates and Storm standing in front of a large table covered in pies with a very stern and unhappy look on her face. It was obvious she was counting each of the pies one by one.
"…twenty-six…twenty-seven…twenty eight! I knew it!" She angrily snapped. "Kurt!" She yelled for the blue devil. "Kurt, come here right now!" Suddenly BAMF and in a puff of blue smoke Kurt Wagner appeared directly in front of her holding one of the pies in his hands. "I…I didn't think one would matter, froloin; I'm very sorry." And the very meek and gentle mutant handed the pie back to its maker.
"Alright." She seemed pleased with Kurt's apology. "But where's the other one?" Kurt's navy blue skinned face showed nothing but surprise at her question. "I do not know of any other missing pies, Ororo."
Storm thought for a moment; then began rummaging through the trash receptacles. Low and behold she found the empty pie tin. With some quick mental detective work, the weather witch came up with the next most likely suspect.
"Sabretooth!" She yelled the large blonde haired feral's name and immediately many of the other kitchen's workers pointed toward the back of the kitchen where the stoves and ovens were. Ororo stormed her way through the kitchen and found him alone, hovering over the stove with his hair pulled back in a bun and wearing a hair net. He was listening to a small radio as it played "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" while stirring a large pan of gravy with a whisk.
"Alright you mangy old Tom cat fess up! Did you eat my pie?"
The felinoid only glanced at the goddess over his shoulder and gave a degusted grunt. "No!" He rudely snapped. "I didn't eat yer dam pie!" He lied to her and turned his attention back to his work. "Oh is that so?" Storm's eyes began to turn milky white; suddenly there was a clap of thunder and Sabretooth's hair began to stand on end as electrons began to fill the air inside the kitchen.
"No!" The tigeresk man hysterically cried. Quickly he covered the pot to keep any debris from ruining his gravy and turned to confront the weather witch. "I've been here since two this morning, cooking up a storm of my own! Can't you just give a guy a break?"
Storm's eyes returned to normal. "Give a guy a break? I'll have you know mister, I was up all night baking those pies and…and what's this?" She demanded an answer as she reached up and picked off a bit of pie crust off his 'KISS THE COOK' apron. "Um…I can explain." Sabretooth's expression turned to both fear and embarrassment as once more Storm's eyes began to show her anger. "Wait! Wait, I…" He nervously began searching his pockets for a small box wrapped in gold satin paper with a fine red bow on top. "Here; I got this for you. Merry Christmas, Storm."
Ororo's eyes again returned to normal as she hesitantly took Sabretooth's present from his hand. Immediately she opened the package. When she saw the bottle of her favorite perfume she smiled and began to coo. "Oh, Victor; this is so thoughtful of you. I don't know what to say."
The large and normally intimidating mutant shyly smiled and began to brag about him self. "I had to go to seven different shops to find the right scent!" Storm then thought to ask. "How did you know this was my fragrance? Oh wait a minute…Don't answer that." Suddenly Ororo felt very strange as she imagined that during the many times Sabretooth had so ruthlessly attacked her, he had bothered to figure out what perfume she was wearing. "Um…but I didn't get anything for you." She politely informed the feral. The large mutant waved it off and went back to stirring his gravy. "Let's just make the pie my gift OK?" Reluctantly Ororo agreed and began to leave him there. "Oh Storm? Can you tell them that they're short a gallon of milk too?" With her hands on her hips Storm huffed. "Sabretooth, you mean to tell me that you drank a WHOLE gallon of milk?" He nodded his head as once more he only glanced over his shoulder. "Well yeah I needed it just to wash down that pie of yers; the crust was pretty hard and salty this year, pretty dry too. Not your best work if you don't mind me sayin' so." Storm managed to keep her self composure but as she whirled around she started to mutter something about not forgetting this the next time they met on the battlefield.