Chapter title: Origins
Publish date: 3/18/13
Summary: A chance meeting at a restaurant throws Casey into a whirlwind relationship that quickly spirals out of control, and she ends up trapped in an abusive relationship. Ch 1 - how it all began.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Law & Order characters. William Colton is mine and not based on anyone I know.

Note: I started writing this story about five or so years ago and had to stop off and on because of writer's block and re-writes and edits. I also haven't watched SVU for 3 or so seasons (sacrilege, I know!) so some of the things in my story may not match up to what has happened on the show. I believe I intended this to take place during season 8 or 9. Here is the final product. Hope you enjoy. Reviews are appreciated! :) Oh and the title comes from the movie/musical "Once," specifically the lyric "You have suffered enough and warred with yourself. It's time that you've won."

It happened gradually at first. So slowly she didn't realize exactly what was happening. As it began it seemed normal. As time went on things got worse and then it all spiraled out of control. When she did finally come to terms with her situation, it was too late.

Casey met William Colton by chance at her favorite restaurant when the host botched her reservation and double booked her table. Casey liked to go there by herself at the end of a difficult week, just to unwind and relax. She had made the reservation on Monday, and was being lead to her table when both she and the hostess realized there were already people sitting there. After a quick consultation with the reservation books, they found out the table had somehow been double booked. William was there with a prospective client and had apologized profusely. He bought her a drink (which she had to drink at the bar) because he felt so bad, and promised to make it up to her by taking her out.

"I ruined your dinner plans tonight, and I'm very sorry. Let me take you out to make up for it."

"That's not necessary. I come here often enough. It's no big deal," Casey said, waving her hand.

"No, I insist. Here's my card," he said as they exchanged cards. "I'll contact you next week. Miss-"

Her heart was pounding and felt like it was in her throat. She tried to slow her breathing and calm down. She could play it off. She had to. "Novak. Casey Novak," she squeaked out. She hoped it didn't sound as silly out loud as it did in her head.

"Miss Novak, I apologize again."

Casey shook his outstretched hand. "Mr. Colton, it isn't your fault. No hard feelings, I promise."

"I'm still going to take you to dinner. I have your card and know where you work, so I'll pester you until you relent." He winked at her and Casey felt her heart flutter. He flagged down his waiter. "Oh! Waiter, bring this young lady whatever she wants to drink, on my tab. Have a good evening, Miss Novak." He gave her a little nod and then turned back to his client.

Casey had gone back to the bar in a daze. This was the type of thing that only happened in books and movies, never in real life – especially not in her life. After months – years, even – of looking for Mr. Right, she'd given up. Her schedule was too hectic; she never had time to meet anyone. William seemed nice, and he wasn't wearing a ring. She looked. She knew it was premature to even think about a relationship with the businessman who stole her table. It would probably amount to nothing. He probably wouldn't even meet her for dinner; he was probably just putting on a show for his client. She sat in a chair, sipping her drink, and watched as parties were sat. When she finished she lingered a little bit longer, half-hoping to get one last glimpse of William before she left.

William was very handsome – the sort of guy that would typically be out of her league. The type that all the girls wanted but only the lucky ones got. If they were in high school, he would be the star quarterback and she the awkward and invisible clarinet player. He was polite, too. She would bet he was the type of guy to open the door for someone, to help an old lady cross the street, or to pull out her chair before she sat. She decided she wouldn't mind if this encounter turned into a relationship.

As she rode her bike home, she mentally slapped herself. Who am I kidding? He probably won't call. As usual, I'm getting my hopes up about nothing. Learn to deal with disappointment and a life alone, Casey. When she got home she got a pint of Ben and Jerry's out of the freezer and sat down to watch late night television, and ended up falling asleep on her couch.

The next morning, after she returned from her morning run, there was a small bouquet of flowers at her door. Creepy, but sweet at the same time. Even though nobody was around, the gesture made her blush with excitement. She took the flowers inside, put them in water, and read the card: Miss Novak, Again I am sorry for the mix-up at the restaurant last night. I had a cancellation Tuesday evening and hope, if you are available, you will join me for dinner. Please call me. William.

Well, if things weren't starting to turn out well! Casey did not want to seem too eager so she waited until she arrived at work before she called him. They made plans to have dinner the following evening at a deli off Times Square.

The date went fabulously. William was a complete gentleman. Her perceived expectation of him proved to be correct. He pulled out her chair for her and almost put her napkin in her lap before she stopped him. Throughout the evening their conversation topics stayed in neutral territory. He was thirty-six and was a pharmacologist. He had his doctorate by the time he was twenty-five and opened his own business before he was thirty. Casey felt a bit unaccomplished after hearing that, but William seemed fascinated by her line of work. They talked about their families – Casey's small, one parent, two child family and William's large, two parent, seven child family. Eventually the conversation turned to movies, then to music, then to theatre. They didn't realize how late it had gotten until the waiters and busboys began to pointedly put the chairs on top of the tables around them. Their conversation was far from over, but it was already late and they both had work the following morning. William walked her halfway to her apartment and asked her out again before parting ways. Of course, Casey said yes. After so many years a man was actually interested in her. It was not an opportunity she was going to turn down.

As she walked home she couldn't suppress her smile, even if she wanted to. She was giddy and almost felt ridiculous at how excited she was. This felt so right, like they had known each other for years. She thought of herself as the future Casey Colton, and smiled at how well her name sounded with his.

Over the next couple of weeks they saw each other as much as possible. It was a whirlwind romance, and they were falling fast for each other. Casey's colleagues, as well as the SVU squad, noticed a change in her demeanor. She was happier, and it showed in her work.

It was less than two weeks before they slept together and about three months before they moved in together. Casey broke the lease on her apartment and put most of her things in storage. When she first announced she was moving in with William, she was met with disapproving looks from everyone. Her lawyer colleagues didn't have the balls to say it, but the detectives did.

"Casey, you haven't even known the guy six months. Isn't it a bit premature to move in with him? How well do you really know him?" Elliot asked when she broke the news.

"I know, and this isn't like me at all. But there's something about William that's so…right. He makes me happy and feel good about myself. I've never felt like this before; I've never met anyone like him. It's so easy to talk to him, and we clicked when we first met. I feel like I've known him for years."

"Okay. I'd still think twice about giving up your apartment. What will happen after the honeymoon feeling is over?"

"It isn't over yet, Elliot. I don't think it ever will be."

"Just be careful, Casey. I don't want to see you get your heart broken."

"Thanks for the fatherly advice, but I'm a big girl. If it happens, I can handle another broken heart. I've bounced back from them before, I'll be able to do it again." She had known they would not take to her news with open arms. She would be hesitant if Olivia announced she was moving in with someone she had just met, too. Especially if nobody else had met the guy yet. But this felt different. It felt right. She was determined they would adore him as much as she did. "But I want you guys to meet him. After I move in, I'll cook dinner and you can come over. If it's all right with William of course."

"So it's William, not Will or Billy or Liam?"

"Noooo," she said, shaking her head fervently. "He got angry when I called him Will on one of our first dates. Said something about how he hates nicknames or there was a kid he hated growing up who went by one of those names. I'm not sure. He was kind of vague on the details. But he is William. No nicknames."

"Okay, duly noted. I'll try to keep a date open for dinner. I'm not making any promises though – I'm a pretty busy guy," Elliot said, winking at her. Casey just rolled her eyes and whacked him good-naturedly with the folder she was carrying.

Just a few days after that conversation, the abuse started.

They had been living together for a little over a week, and to celebrate Casey had decided to make a surprise dinner. She wasn't much of a cook, but she knew how to make fettuccini alfredo. She got spinach noodles and chicken breasts. She followed her mom's recipe but still somehow managed to mess up. The noodles were overcooked and the chicken was a little burned, but it wasn't entirely inedible, so she served it anyway. She set the table with a nice set of plates, lit the candles, and poured the wine. At least everything looked perfect.

William came home in a rotten mood and barely looked at the nicely set table. He just plopped himself down with a scowl on his face, taping his feet and his fingers impatiently. When Casey set his bowl down in front of him, he didn't even wait for her to sit or serve herself before digging in.

Casey was so surprised by his attitude that she just sat down and watched as his face contorted into a grimace as he chewed. Then before he swallowed, he spit it out in his bowl, and then shoved the bowl to the ground, where it shattered and sent its contents flying across the floor.

"What the fuck was that supposed to be?" He asked, wiping his face and taking a swig of wine.

"Fettuccini alfredo. I know it's a little over-cooked, but I tried my best. It's still edible…" Casey trailed off.

"Hardly." He shoved his chair back, crossed over to Casey, grabbed her by the wrist, and threw her on the ground. Then he got a dish rag and threw it in her face. "Clean this mess up." He stalked out of the kitchen and seconds later she heard their bedroom door slam shut.

Casey sat on the floor in a daze, too shocked to cry. She carefully scooped up the pieces of broken glass and then cleaned up the floor, as well as the rest of the kitchen, making sure it was spotless. She dumped the rest of the meal in the garbage. Finally, she sat back down in her seat and started to cry. She covered her mouth with her hand and took deep breaths to calm herself down. She didn't want William to hear and get even more angry because she was crying. Trembling slightly, she went into the living room, where she lay down on the couch and forced herself to fall asleep.

A few hours later William was shaking her awake. She didn't say anything, she just lay there as tears clouded her eyes. William knelt down next to her and stroked her cheek and her hair, wiping away the tears that escaped. "Baby, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I had a bad day today. It's a crappy excuse, but I'm so sorry." He leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"I tried so hard to make it perfect," she whispered.

"I'm sure you did. But let's forget about that. Come back to bed. I miss you." He helped her up and kissed her, then slipped his arm around her and they went back to the bedroom.

It was as though that incident was a test. And Casey passed with flying colors.

As the weeks went on, it got worse. It was little things at first. They'd be out to dinner and she'd say something he deemed idiotic, and would hit her with a menu. To the casual observer, it would look like a little love pat or that it was just in jest, but he always hit harder than it looked. Sometimes a purple bruise would appear, other times it was a lighter bruise, but still just as painful to the touch. Sometimes he would kick her under the table. There were times when, as they would be walking to the subway or to get a cab, he would push her so she would stumble. He would catch her and pretend she was drunk and act like the good boyfriend, trying to keep her steady on her feet. But in reality he had a death grip on her arm, and more often than not it would bruise.

When he hit her at home, he was always careful to avoid her face so people wouldn't know what was going on. Once, he did, and when Olivia asked her about it, Casey lied and told her while at practice she miscalculated a fly ball and it hit her face. Olivia seemed skeptical, but didn't press further. Another time she didn't wear a long enough shirt to cover a finger bruise on her arm. This time Elliot was the one who noticed, and Casey made herself blush and say she and William had gotten carried away the night before.

She would tell herself she needed to stop this, but the bruises always faded within a few days. And if he saw the bruises he'd look so remorseful that Casey would forgive him. No matter what he did, she could always forgive him. It was usually her fault anyway, or at least she deserved it. And every time it got bad enough where she would seriously consider leaving him, he would do something sweet, like give her flowers and chocolates, or run her a bath with her favorite scents. She couldn't help it. She had fallen hard.

After the dinner incident, William started to drink more often. Casey hated it when he did that because she would inevitably do something to piss him off. He came unhinged so easily, Casey felt like she was walking on eggshells to appease him. Sometimes he'd come home from work so upset he'd hit her, and Casey would tell herself this was the only way William could work out his aggression, and that in a few hours he'd make everything okay again. She could deal with it. His actions when he wasn't angry or drunk were worth the pain she went through when he was.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed. Reviews are appreciated!