Second of what will hopefully become a three-part series, if I can get the third part written. Again, spoilers for Earthshock.
Disclaimer: If I owned Doctor Who, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction for it.
She just couldn't get the idea out of her head.
After it happened, she'd gone to talk to the Doctor.
She'd asked him, haltingly, if Adric would have felt anything as he'd died. He'd told her, as gently as he could, that the freighter and everything on it had been destroyed instantly in the explosion, broken down into molecules (that was his words, 'broken down', not hers). Adric's death had been instantaneous, he said.
It didn't help. She kept thinking about Adric, shattered, 'broken down' into tiny parts and spread across the world. The idea that he was part of the earth now didn't comfort her. The thought that she could have been walking on, breathing in, even eating bits of Adric all her life horrified her.
But that was just silly. They weren't bits of Adric any more, just molecules, particles like any other (she knew enough about science to know that). There was nothing left.
Somehow, that bothered her even more. She'd mentioned this to Nyssa, who was mystified. On Traken, she said, the body was usually burnt before the funeral, as soon as possible. It wasn't important, she said. The person was already gone.
Then she'd realised that she was only making things worse, done her best to comfort Tegan, and fled back to the console room.
She'd tried and tried, but she couldn't get the idea out of her head.
There was nothing left but particles, parts, floating about in the air.