Chapter 1

Choice

Edward Cullen.

I raised my eyes and stared across the room at my Bella—my love. Her eyes were turned down—gazing affectionately at the growing monstrosity within her womb—and her chin held a coy smile. Under any other circumstance, I would have done anything for that smile. Now, my actions had put my wife in mortal danger. I sneered at the phrase. No, my actions have sentenced Bella to death.

My entire existence had been, more or less, filled with holding to my convictions. I had done nothing but be the definition of self control. Yet, during our honeymoon, I threw caution to the wind for the sake of our love. I gave in to Bella, willingly. She opened her arms to me and I did not deny her. Even after the first night, after I had marred—desecrated—her beautiful body, I recapitulated a few days later. I was so intoxicated by the thought of Bella, belonging to me, that I went against reason and rational thought. This is my fault.

I knew these words, which haunted me, were the truth. I was the adult here—one hundred and eight years old—I should have been the responsible one.

I closed my eyes and clenched my fists. The self-loathing had returned. When Bella had first walked into my life, she made me feel more human. Bella reminded me that there was good in me. But now, as I stared at the bump under her sweater, I could only wallow in my own revulsion.

My eyes trailed, away from my precious lamb, to the serpent beside her. Rosalie had decided to stand between Bella and me. Bella wanted to keep the creature growing inside her. Me? I wanted to see it destroyed before it could take her life. Rosalie lifted her eyes and met my stare. Her lips pulled back to reveal her teeth and the message was clear: she would kill me before I hurt it.

"Edward, it's your child!" Rosalie had hissed as her arms encircled my wife tightly. Bella was clinging to her new protector with tenacity.

I growled in response to my sister's claim. "It's a monster! Bella, it's going to kill you!"

The earlier fight sent shivers down my spine. Carlisle and I had been all too ready to remove the fetus. We had planned it thoroughly; all we needed to do was get home. Due to my inability to read Bella's mind, I had not seen that she had already made arrangements. Bella had called Rosalie, in a panic, and explained that she did not want to kill the fetus. I can't believe they are calling it a baby! I sneered quietly and continued to dwell in my memories. The moment Bella and I were off the plane, Bella ran straight into the arms of the woman who never showed any love for her.

"I know what you both are planning!" Rosalie had snarled as she gripped Bella. "I won't let you kill this child!"

I had growled at Rosalie. "Rose, this is not the time to be living vicariously. This thing, growing in Bella, is endangering her life!"

Bella had turned her eyes to me—her pained eyes. She was sad and my heart broke. "Edward, I really need you to trust me."

I pinched the bridge of my nose as my memories overwhelmed me. How did this go so wrong? I was supposed to be living the happy married life, not worrying about the life of my beloved. I forced myself out of the chair and walked out of the living room. I had to get out of here. I thrust open the front door and let the fresh air hit me. Inhaling deeply I let out an exasperated sigh. I'm out of ideas.

Is everything all right, son? Carlisle's soothing thoughts flowed through the air. He moved agilely, from the house, next to me. "Edward?"

I felt my face contort in the pain of frustration. "Carlisle, tell me what to do." I could not meet his eyes. "I feel like I'm failing as a husband and as a man. I desperately want to help Bella, but I don't want to see her unhappy." The vision of my little Bella's face crossed my mind. I faltered as she smiled at me from my thoughts. "I'm lost."

Carlisle sighed heavily before resting his hand on my shoulder. "I wish I could help you, Edward." His thoughts spoke to me as he fell silent. Edward, you have two options: option one, you can allow Bella to keep this up and see what happens with the birth.

I growled lightly. "Next."

Carlisle sighed. The next one is equally difficult, my son. The second option you have is… Carlisle's thoughts trailed off.

I narrowed my eyes and turned them to face my father. "Is what, Carlisle?"

Carlisle turned his eyes away as his mind contemplated how best to say it. When he returned his face to me, there was unfathomable pain there. The second option is that we take away Bella's choice. We would sedate her, get her away from Rosalie, and we…get rid of…the… he stuttered on the last of his thought.

He didn't need to say anything more. He was suggesting we drug my wife and take whatever was inside her out. The idea was barbaric yet rational at the same time. I turned and stared through the glass. Bella was smiling at Rosalie and rubbing her stomach. Every now and then she would casually glance down; a light blush running across her cheeks. She seemed to glow more than usual. "Would it work?"

Carlisle sighed. That is not the question, Edward.

I turned back to my father, confused. "What do you mean, Carlisle?"

His eyes saddened. The question you must ask yourself is…can you live in a world where she hates you?

I paused. I couldn't answer that truthfully. I loved the way Bella smiled at me. She let me know, on a daily basis, that I was her entire existence. The thought of her running off to someone else—Mike Newton or Jacob Black—filled my mouth full of venom and my mind with rage. So how would I handle her…hating me? She was mine. I had fought so long and hard for us to be together. However, now she was in danger again. The monster, I had created, was threatening to rip her apart—to tear her from me. I refused to let this happen. I had to do everything in my power to protect her.

I let my head fall into my hands. "I don't know what to do, Carlisle." Running my hands through my hair, a strange thought ran through my mind. How would I go about doing this anyway? "Carlisle, how would we do it—hypothetically?"

Carlisle took a deep breath. "Hypothetically," he let his mind think for a few minutes before letting his thoughts speak. Well, Edward, the first step would be to get Rose and Emmett away from Bella. That will be a task all in its own. He paused and let his thoughts meander a little longer. This would be so much easier if Esme was on our side.

I nodded in agreement. Esme, our mother for all intents and purposes, would be able to coax both of my siblings away. Alice would most assuredly help us.

Carlisle continued. After getting them away from her, we would have maybe a few seconds.

I nodded, seeing the plan from his mind. "That's all the time I need."

But Carlisle's brow furrowed as he encountered a problem. But, we would need to keep Rose and Emmett distracted for longer than a few seconds. You wouldn't get far with her if they caught on. He rested his chin on his fist as he began to pace. We would need someone who has their trust to help us. But who? Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett have pretty much bonded together.

I picked my head up slowly. "Alice."

Carlisle shook his head. Alice is too good, Edward. She would never be able to deceive Rosalie and Emmett.

I cocked my head and stared at Carlisle. "Why don't we ask her?" I took a deep breath and spoke a little louder. "Alice? Would you come outside please?" Before I could count to one, I felt a rush of air.

My pixie sister all but materialized before me. "Edward, you rang?" Her smile was a little morose. I guess she was on the same wave length as I was. We were both at risk of losing someone we loved.

I sighed. "Alice, will you walk with me? I have something I need to ask you—hypothetically." I strained my face, waiting for her to have a vision. I was used to Alice seeing exactly what I was going to ask her.

I was surprised when she bounced ahead. "All right."

I turned to Carlisle. "We'll be back, shortly."

Carlisle nodded and turned to head inside. Good luck, my son.

I made sure that we were out of hearing range, even from my siblings. I was not about to risk Rosalie finding out and whisking Bella to a hidden location. I would not put that past my sister either. I slowed down as the thoughts and sounds of my family faded into the distance. We were almost to the La Push border.

Alice seemed a little unnerved by the long trek. "Okay, Edward. You bring me close to the La Push border without any explanations." She leaned back and stared at me, irritated. "So either feed me to the wolves or get on with it."

I shook my head in amazement. "I'm surprised that you haven't seen what I'm going to ask you." Normally, by now, Alice would have seen what I was going to ask and the repercussions.

Alice crossed her arms and sighed loudly. "No, I haven't, Edward."

I gazed at her, skeptical. "I wonder why that is…"

"Hello?" She waved her hand across my face. "Earth to Edward Cullen!? I haven't seen it because you haven't made up your mind on what to ask me!" She rolled her eyes at the simplicity of the logic.

I grinned but let it fade to a smile. "Alice, Bella's going to die." I stared, grimly, at her face.

Alice's eyes softened and her straight lips quivered. "We don't know that, Edward." She let her face fall. "For all we know, she'll survive. You know Bella! She has a knack for staying alive during crazy business!"

I nodded. I would not argue with that fact. Bella had braved Victoria, James, the Volturi, Jasper's attack…she had endured so much. "Alice." I grimaced as I thought of what I was about to say. "I need your help."

Alice cocked her head to the side. "What's going on, Edward?" She narrowed her eyes and stepped back. "What were you and Carlisle plotting just now?"

I heaved a sigh. "I asked Carlisle how we would go about treating Bella, hypothetically." I felt my face freeze as I waited for her reaction.

She raised one eyebrow. "By 'treat' you mean…"

"I mean taking the fetus out of her," I muttered, lowering my eyes to the ground.

"But Bella's made it clear that she wants to have the…," I heard the realization wash through her. "You were thinking of doing this…without her…consent?" I wasn't sure if her voice was horrified or skeptical.

Raising my eyes, I knew it was horrified. Alice's eyes were about to leap from her head. Her mouth was stretched open and I almost swore her skin was whiter. "Edward…," she hissed to me.

"Tell me what I'm supposed to do, Alice!" I snapped at my sister. Why was she looking at me like I was the monster? Like I was the one devouring my wife from within? No, I was trying to save her life! "Please, because I am out of options."

Alice shook her head. "Edward, there may appear to be no options right now," she spoke slowly. "But this goes beyond wrong. Do you understand the ramifications? Bella will more than likely hate you. But that would not be the worst of your problems." She leaned in and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Edward, there is a likely chance she would be suicidal. If you go through with this plan, you will destroy your wife."

I pressed my hands against my temples and snarled loudly. I didn't know what to do! "Alice, it seems like I am damned if I do and damned if I don't."

She frowned. "I really wish I could help you, Edward. But I can't see Bella anymore."

I turned a pair of shocked eyes to her. "She's gone now, completely?" I knew that Alice had been having difficulties seeing Bella since we got back. However, now Bella was gone all together? "You cannot see her at all?"

Suddenly Alice was quiet.

I moved toward her. "What is it, Alice?" I grabbed her shoulder and shook her. "Please, Alice!"

Then her thoughts became too clear. The pack of wolves had overheard my snarl and come running. They were seconds from closing in. And at the front of the pack was Jacob Black.

Author's Note: This was originally posted in 2011. I am reposting.