Nutrition
Written: 2 August 2005—2 February 2007
Posted: 3 February 2007, rev. 0
Category: Humor.
Summary: How’s a poor, exasperated taiyoukai supposed to deal with his pack instincts when it comes to his brother’s idea of practicing good nutrition—or lack thereof? Just barely, that's how.
Disclaimer: The characters and story of InuYasha are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. Used without permission. This work is for entertainment only, and no profit is intended.
Beta Special thanks to Sueb262, who convinced me to get my perfectionist claws out of this story and let it run outside to play.
Glossary At end of document.

Nutrition

“InuYasha, should I just take down a deer and skin it for you?” a tall, silver-haired demon growled.

“Wouldn’t eat it even if you did,” a silver-haired stripling in red samurai hunting clothes sniffed back.

“No, I suppose that would be too intelligent an action to expect of you.”

InuYasha eyed his elder brother suspiciously.

“Even you couldn’t be snippy enough to accuse me of being too dumb to eat, Sesshomaru.”

“No, but I could certainly be exasperated enough,” the other demon shot back.

“Yeah, right, Ice-Boy. Like you’d care enough about m—anything to do that.”

“That’s true. I don’t care. Unfortunately, however, being the clan alpha and your pack senior does play merry hell with my instincts, and I do care about being distracted from matters of greater concern.

“Which means, you are going to eat like a growing demon or suffer my wrath.”

“Keh. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve handled your wrath. It’s not nearly as bad as having to put up with your damn nagging. “

“Ah, thank you for that opening, Yasha-chan,” Sesshomaru thought. The corners of his mouth lifted ever so slightly in the faintest of smiles, causing a range of expressions from whimpering fear on the part of Jaken, to slightly wicked amusement from Miroku.

“Ouch. Tactical mistake, InuYasha,” Sango muttered under her breath.

Indeed it was.

Typical. They’d been having a perfectly decent aerial sword kata and his bastard of a brother managed to find something to gig him about.

Well, actually, it had been a quite pleasant kata, if InuYasha were honest with himself. There was literally no one else in Japan, now that their old arms-master had died, with whom InuYasha could practice the skydance. And Sesshomaru was, quite simply, a wonderful sparring partner.

It wasn’t just the taiyoukai’s evident physical strength, speed, and grace. Nor his excellent swordsmanship. Sure, those were all good things in a practice partner, but that wasn’t what made sword practice with Sesshomaru so great.

It was nii-san’s--Sesshomaru’s--disciplined mind and spirit that put him in a class by himself.

Funny: for a guy whose mere presence usually set him on edge, touching Sesshomaru’s ki was like watching the ocean roll. His ki was flowing, smooth and powerful. To top it off, there was nothing cloudy or malicious in the Western Lord’s spirit presence.

Which was weird, now that InuYasha thought about it. He shook his head, as if trying to clear out some mental cobwebs. How could a guy who was basically ashamed of his younger brother’s existence not show the tiniest shadow of that shame in his mind?

The hanyou snorted. Ice cold discipline and complete lack of feeling, that was how. He had to wonder how his brother had gotten that way. Not from their father, from what he’d heard.

Well, however he’d whipped his ki into line, it had made for an excellent practice. By the time they’d finished, InuYasha had been breathing deeply, and filled with a sense of well-being both in body and spirit.

They had both settled softly onto the meadow after the last kata, took their proper stances, and bowed to one another. Then he’d shown the older demon to a quiet river pool where they could drink and perhaps have a bit of a splash to cool off. Their little audience of Shippo, Kagome, and Sango had idly trailed along too.

He’d shed his kariginu and underrobe before leaning down and dunking his head partway under, splashing water over his sweaty shoulders and chest. As he pulled his head out, spluttering and shaking water off, he felt eyes on him. He turned to find Sesshomaru draping his own underrobe over a bush, and eying him in a way that he was pretty sure wasn’t good news for younger brothers. Shit. Couldn’t they just skip the damn insults for one fucking hour?

“InuYasha,” his brother said, walking slowly around the hanyou. “What have you been eating?”

“Whadda ya mean, what have I been eating? Whatever food Kagome’s got in her pack or whatever we can snag when we stop for the night.”

Sesshomaru’s mouth appeared to tighten slightly as he continued to examine his younger brother speculatively. Apparently he was particularly interested in InuYasha’s chest and upper arms, for some reason known only to unfeeling bastard brothers.

“And just what does your ‘snag’ normally consist of?”

InuYasha wasn’t quite sure what the hell his brother was up to, but he saw no reason to break tradition and start cooperating right from the get-go.

“Keh, what do you usually snag in the woods and streams?”

“Whatever I seek of course. But what that might be in your case, I can’t be sure. Game and fish, I suppose?”

“Wow, you have gotten out of the castle once in a while, haven’t you?”

Sesshomaru ignored the sarcasm and bored on.

“Yes, I imagine you could snag a squirrel here and there and perhaps a guinea fowl now and again.”

InuYasha glared at the unperturbed demon lord, wanting nothing so much as to roar at the arrogant bastard. Squirrels, huh? And guinea fowl! As if he was an unseasoned pup. He’d been able to take better game and fowl since he was six and Sesshomaru damn well knew it.

“Try rabbit, you arrogant bastard. And geese or ducks if we’re near water. Sometimes a wild pig.

“Keh! Squirrels and guinea fowl, my ass.”

“No deer, though? No wild ox?”

“Have you noticed we don’t exactly have a lot of supply carts?”

“Why would you need them?”

InuYasha rolled his eyes.

“Because you don’t waste your kill? Because you don’t leave traces behind for anyone tracking you? Because with only four adults, a kit and a firecat, we wouldn’t finish off the whole thing in one night?”

“Three adults. Although perhaps the miko should not be considered grown, either.”

“Sesshomaru, I happen to know you can figure sums better than a shopkeeper with an abacus, so how the hell do you come up with three adults? Maybe I can help, here. There’s Sango, Miroku, me--”

“You aren’t an adult.”

“What the hell is it with you today? You know damn well that anyway you figure it, I’m over 15, and last I knew, that’s legally old enough to fight, marry, and hold office. “

“Baka, I’m not talking about age before the law. I’m talking about your body.”

“Excuse me?,” the hanyou said, stiffening with offense. “Just because I don’t have a voice that sounds like it’s coming from the bottom of a cave it doesn’t mean I’m a , a , a little boy. I may not be as tall and broad as you--yet--but I’m not a little child, either.”

“Baka,” Sesshomaru repeated. “That’s exactly the point. You aren’t as tall and broad as I--”

“Well damn! Am I supposed to be?” InuYasha spat, face flushing with a combination of anger and embarrassment.

“Yes. Or at least the same size I was at your age. Your mother was. . .less frail-boned than mine, you should be a bit more substantial at this age.”

Scratch the embarrassment, and make that angry hanyou tending toward furious.

“What do I have to do, go out and leave a few dozen brats around the countryside to prove I’m---”

“You need to eat your meat!”

InuYasha stopped cold, mid-rant.

“I what?”

“You need to eat your meat. You aren’t, are you?”

“Sure I am, I told you. We usually have rabbit or fish, sometimes . . .”

“Geese or ducks, yes, I heard you. But you need red meat, as fresh and bloody as you can get it.”

InuYasha had a sudden flash of memory, of sitting at the table in the great kitchen of his father’s hall, listening to the head cook admonish Sesshomaru to “eat that meat up, and do it while it’s fresh and the blood has strength.”

He caught the tail end of whatever his brother was saying now.

“--at least a haunch of deer, and preferably two in a week.”

“You sound like Tsubame. ‘Eat that meat up, or you’ll never grow to the proper size for your father’s son.’”

“I am pleased to say her advice was quite well-taken,” Sesshomaru answered, drawing himself up and rather pointedly taking a deep breath. The movement drew InuYasha’s eye to what he had to admit was a well-developed but not bulky upper body.

“But I don’t like bloodfresh meat, it’s so--bland. It has no flavor.” InuYasha couldn’t quite keep a small whine from his voice as he answered. “Ramen tastes so much better.”

It was Sesshomaru’s turn to go back in his memory. Except for the remark about ramen, he had said the same thing about bloodfresh meat to Cook more than once. As well as to his father, stepmother, two aunts and one uncle. Each of whom, except for his stepmother, had always said the same thing: “Teenage whelps. They are just determined to avoid eating anything that’s good for them.”

But at one family dinner, his stepmother had apparently heard his complaint one time too often. She grabbed his sleeve and tugged him up from his floor-cushion.

“That’s it. You are going to learn how to make your meat palatable and you are going to eat a decent serving of it,” Izayoi had said determinedly. “ You are too thin and no member of my family is going to go underfed.”

Then she’d shot his quietly chuckling father one of those “we’ll talk later” expressions.

Izayoi’s expression had been enough to make the dog lord collect himself and tell his son quite regally (except for one twitching brow) that the training would be useful for him.

“But in what way father?”

Toga had crossed his arms, tilted his nose up, and replied that he expected his son to be able to deduce that for himself.

“We will discuss this at breakfast tomorrow morning, Sesshomaru.”

“You have no idea, do you Father?” he remembered thinking. “Of course you’ll have 20 ideas by tomorrow morning and I’d better not miss any examples.”

Then he was hauled off, politely protesting , out of the dining hall and off to the kitchen.

In the kitchen Izayoi had had Cook gently braise several slices of beef haunch. And she’d made sure that it was seasoned to the heir’s taste, by making him do the seasoning.

Once he’d eaten his way through half the stack, she’d let him have some of the baked sweet potatoes and rice porridge that he loved. He had to admit that the seasoned meat went well with the other dishes. Before he knew it, he’d polished off all the meat and had actually left some of his fifth bowl of rice.

Well, that had been a long time ago, and his present problem would not be solved by
hauling InuYasha off to the kitchens. “And Father,” he thought sadly, “will not be setting Yasha-chan any more training tasks, either.”

Which left . . .guiding InuYasha’s choices.

“InuYasha,” he growled, “don’t make me hunt down game for you.”

“OK, I’m officially confused now,” Kagome said after hearing InuYasha’s little bland-meat whine.

“Over what, Kagome-chan?”

“Well, InuYasha was just whining about ‘bloodfresh’ meat being bland and A) I don’t think I know what ‘bloodfresh’ is. . .”

“Freshly killed,” Sango supplied.

“Oh. Right. And B) InuYasha just about freaked out when my Mom served him some medium-hot curry. “

“Maybe it was just a surprise, and he took a bigger bite than he should have? Like when that Mongol trader we met ate the whole hunk of wasabi without diluting it? Of course, it could just be the normal dog-demon adjustment pains.”

“What’s he adjusting to? And how much does it hurt?”

“Oh, it’s just a figure of speech. Male dog demons especially go through a stage when they’re about InuYasha’s age where their senses of smell and taste go haywire for a while.”

They paused to enjoy the lovely summer day, with its mild temperature, soft breeze, sunny
skies, and the loving bickering of a pair of inuyoukai brothers. They watched in silence, their heads turning from one brother to another, like spectators at a poetry match, until InuYasha growled out a remark about his brother’s nagging. Sango winced and muttered something about tactics.

“Why do you say it’s a tactical mistake, Sango?” Kagome asked.

“Well, Sesshomaru does seem to take a certain delight in irritating InuYasha, “ the demon slayer began.

“Who doesn’t? It’s not like it’s hard,” piped up the little kitsune, Shippo.

“True, Shippo, it’s not hard. But I’ve noticed that when it comes to fighting a battle, both brothers are totally determined and very, very crafty. And this will definitely be a battle, just using minds and feelings instead of swords.”

“Hmphf. InuYasha is even more outclassed than usual, then. He is stubborn as a mule but he’s not the brightest lamp in the house.” the little fox grumbled.

“Shippo! That is no way to talk about someone who shelters you, feeds you, and protects you.” Kagome said, surprising the kit with her disapproving tone. “InuYasha-san may not be the most, well, easygoing person--”

“Hah! You can say that again!”

“Shippo. You are shaming your pack,” she went on in a sad, soft tone. Shippo’s eyes widened in surprise, then his head drooped and his mouth turned down.

“As I was saying, InuYasha-san may not be the most easygoing person but he does his best to provide for you. I am very embarrassed that I have not done a better job of teaching you respect for your par--providers.”

The little fox sniffled and touched his head to the ground in a profound bow.

“Sorry, miko-sama, sorry, sorry, sorry. Please don’t be angry with me, Kagome-mama. I meant no offense to the pack, I would not shame you for anything, sorry, sorry,.”

“I know you would not, Shippo-chan, but I want you to think next time before you speak, all right?

“Yes, Kagome-mama, I will be careful and not bring shame on you or the pack.”

“And you will pay InuYasha -san his due respect?”

Shippo gulped and hesitated for a moment, before answering.

“Hai, Kagome-mama, hai, hai. I will give the pack leader his proper respect and, and gratitude even. And I’ll make sure everyone else does, too!”

“Meaning he will probably start irritating Kouga and Sesshomaru to no end and drive InuYasha a new kind of crazy,” she thought wryly.

“Good, then come up here and let’s see what else Sango has thought of, shall we?” she asked aloud, scooping him up and letting him cuddle against her neck.

“So Sango, you think they’re in for a battle of minds and feelings, do you? This could be interesting, they’re both so different in some ways. InuYasha is impulsive and impatient, I’ll grant you that, but he also feels things so much more. Maybe that will give him an edge or at least balance out things.

“Sesshomaru's much more of a thinker, and maybe has a little edge--not much!--in intelligence,” she added with hesitation, “so that could--”

Sango cut her off.

“I not so sure about any of that, Kagome-chan. Sesshomaru paints a cold picture of himself, but he’s been after the Tessaiga since before his brother was born, and he was pretty furious when Rin was threatened. No lack of feeling then. He’s a demon. It doesn’t make sense for him not to have a demon’s strong passions.

“And I think--maybe--InuYasha has been managing to disguise his intelligence. It would make strategic sense; keep his enemies from knowing what he can really do. Both his father’s and mother’s clans are known for their quickness of mind and judgment. It doesn’t make sense that he wouldn’t be at least smarter than average.”

“Ow! Hey! Let go--that’s an ear, you know, not a leash! Besides, I told you, I’m not hungry now--ow! Owow ow!”

“I mean it, InuYasha. You are going to eat at least a joint of deer by the end of the day. Oh stop yelping: if you’d just keep up your ear wouldn’t get pulled.”

“Can we at least look for some wild onions or something so it has some kind of taste? Bloodfresh meat--gak! Tastes like paper. . .”

Kagome closed her eyes and sighed.

“They’re going to enjoy this, aren’t they, Sango-chan.”

“Yes they are.”

“They’ll get so caught up they won’t even notice what this will do to the rest of us, will they?”

“No they won’t.”

“We’re in for some real brotherly rivalry, aren’t we?” she asked.

“I’m afraid so.”

Kagome, Shippo, and Sango all let their heads fall forward as they sighed resignedly.

Over the hill, the sound of the two brothers’ voices faded slowly away.

“Ah, c’mon, Sesshomaru, at least let me get some ramen from Kagome’s pack. . .”

“You need food, InuYasha, not some sorcerer’s mockery of noodles.”

“Well then--ow ow!--how ‘bout a package of dried potatoes? At least let me get the bottle of tonkatsu sauce. . .”

Owari

Glossary
Baka—idiot, dummy, stupid, fool
-chan—diminuitive honorific suffix
Guinea fowl—wild jungle ancestor of the domestic chickenBR Hanyou— half-demon
Hai—yes
Inuyoukai—dog demon
Kariginu— samurai’s hunting jacket of the Warring States period, with full sleeves that can be laced in at the cuffs. Correct term for InuYasha’s red jacket.
Kata —set practice sequences of movements in the martial arts
Ki—spirit, essence, presence
Kitsune—fox or sometimes (as in this story) fox demon
Miko—shrine attendant or shrine maiden
Nii-san—elder brother
Owari—The end
Ramen—thin, kinky-curly Japanese noodles. One of InuYasha’s main food groups.
-sama— very formal honorific suffix. Approximately “milord” or “milady” in English.
Taiyoukai—great demon.
Tonkatsu—very tasty sauce for breaded, fried pork cutlets. Made from applesauce & vinegar among other ingredients.
Wasabi—very intense Japanese horseradish paste. Not to be mistaken for a dab of guacamole and scarfed up whole.