A little piece of hell on Earth

Relena Peacecraft gazed around herself. Her expression could be described as a mingling of disgust, disbelief, horror, and just a smidgen of rage. Her home was a mess. No that was too light a term really. She surveyed the remains of what used to be her guest bedroom. Now she grudgingly admitted that it was no longer her domain. Not so long as HE was around.

The stench of leftover food was rank in the air with a smell so foul that not even the dog would dare venture so far as the end of the hallway. A variety of clothes lay over every available surface. Who had known that such a vile creature as HIM would own so many blue tank tops. What was more mind wracking than the sheer number of the hideous excuses for clothing was the fact that they were all the same shade. Exactly the same. Not navy, not cobalt, but a faded washed out baby blue.

That same shade of blue that perfectly matched the sky on a cloudless spring day, now covered the spare room. The chairs, the desk, the lamps, the bed. Every square inch it seemed was that same shade of blue. She glanced up, her eyes widening again... there was a NAIL in her wall. The perfectly wallpapered, no not just wallpaper. The designer wallpaper that had been custom made to match the carpet, bedding and drapery... now contain a single nail. Right smack in the middle of the wall.

Her slender frame fairly shook with tremors of violent anger as she focused on yet another of the vile blue tank tops, hanging ever so delicately, apparently the only freshly laundered piece of clothing the slip of a boy owned, yes it hung there. From the nail in her WALLPAPER.

She grabbed the first available object, intending to throw it in the direction of the occupant that lay curled into a small ball atop the sating sheets, hidden beneath the tank tops that covered the bed. Only a small hole for him to breath through. She felt the slithering of something over her hand, a tickling sensation. Only then did she dare to look. One very large, very healthy cockroach waddled happily across the plain of her folded hand.

Her lips opened in silent horror that lasted approximately one tenth of a second. This blissful silence was interrupted by a blood-curdling scream. One eye peeked out sleepily from beneath the hill of blue. "Onna no baka, get the hell out of my room."

"A...a.. a..a..ROAAAAAAACCCCCHHHHHHHH!!!!" The creature was shaken, none too gently from her hand, immediately she threw down the object she held. A strange clicking noise was heard... then a mighty yell from the boy who had been so insulting to her only a moment before.

"Get out of the room! Run!" He scurried off the bed, leaping lithely over the mountains of old pizza boxes that rose waist high in the air. "GO!" He pushed her out of the door none too gently, slamming it behind them. "Behind the wall, stupid woman. Take cover, you idiot."

His voice held a note that sounded vaguely threatening. She knew immediately that the object she'd thrown to the ground was not..... BOOOOOM!

The door exploded past them and landed in two split pieces at the far end of the hallway. The momentary flames faltered before confining themselves into the bedroom. Without thought, Relena sprinted to her kitchen and returned with the fire extinguisher. The small-framed sallow boy grabbed it and spray at the small bonfire in the doorway that was merrily consuming the near-endless regiments of blue shirts that acted as kindling.

Suddenly the flames were gone, followed by a moment of silence between the two. The boy's eyes fiercely sparkling. He tossed the extinguisher nonchalantly atop the pizza boxes, sending the tower crashing over. It was a tense minute before he spoke.

"Do you know what it was that you threw?" His voice was strangely calm... never a good thing.

"Umm... an explosively charged cockroach?" Relena offered helpfully.

The raven-haired boy released a stream of words in his mother tongue, words that Relena did not recognize and was sure she didn't want to even if she could. He spun around. "Onna no baka.... it was a live grenade!! You could have killed us both you stupid girl."

"A hand grenade? You brought live ammunition into my home?"

"How was I supposed to know that you would attack me with it!"