Disclaimer: Once Upon a Time does not belong to me! All characters and references to the show belong to ABC and Channel 5
Regina has just slept with Mr Gold. AGAIN! After the humiliating experience of Emma Swan walking in on them, she thinks things can't get any worse. That is, until her period seems to have taken a short holiday...
Hammered.
Mary Margaret Blanchard was sitting at her living room table in her small apartment reading a book, when her room mate Emma Swan came crashing through the door, her wild eyes and panting breath told the young elementary school teacher that Emma had been running. Before she could ask what was wrong, Emma hurried over to the table where she was sat, and threw herself into a chair.
"You are not going to believe what I just saw!" the blonde blurted.
Mary Margaret frowned. Last she heard, Emma had been going to talk to Mr Gold about the sheriff election (Sidney Glass? Sheriff? Oh, come on!)
"What?" she asked.
And her mouth fell open at Emma's unbelievable answer.
"Mr Gold and Regina having sex!"
"WHAT?!" Mary Margaret cried dropping her book, her voice going up an octave.
"Yeah!" Emma nodded frantically "I walked into his shop and-"
"OhmyGod they were doing it in his shop?"
"Let me finish!"
"Right, sorry"
"Anyway, I walked into his shop, and I could hear-" Emma shuddered "-Noises, coming from his office"
"Oh my God!" Mary Margaret half gasped, half laughed as Emma continued.
"So, I went into the office to see what the noise was, and I saw...them! Just...going at it!" Once she finished, Emma threw her arms onto the table and sagged slightly, as if finally getting this out had drained her.
Mary Margaret was silent for a moment, absorbing this completely bizzare news. Then she spoke again.
"So, what did you do when you saw them?"
Emma looked up at her with tortured eyes.
"I ran!"
Both women missed a beat, and then simultaneously burst out laughing.
At that moment, there was a knock on the door.
Emma and Mary Margaret tried to stifle their laughter as Emma got up to answer the door.
This became extremely hard to do when she opened the door, and found Mayor Mills standing there.
OUAT
There was a stunned silence, then Mary Margaret coughed into her palm and got up.
"Excuse me" she said, the twitching corners of her mouth threatening to break into a grin, and she vacated the living room.
Emma turned back to Regina, the horror of what she had seen only half an hour ago still flashing through her mind.
"Miss Swan" Regina said in greeting "May I come in for a moment?"
Emma hesitated, then opened the door wider "Won't your boyfriend be missing you?"
Regina's eyes darkened with fury and Emma saw a faint pink tinge in her cheeks as she sat down in Mary Margaret's chair at the table. She waited until Emma too was seated before speaking.
"Emma, about what you saw in Mr Golds office..." she started.
"Yeah?" Emma folded her arms.
"I would really appreciate it if you kept it to yourself"
Emma looked at the woman in front of her. She was a sociopath, a control freak, and a bully. And yet here she sat, two feet in front of her, looking more vulnerable than Emma had ever seen her despite her confident guise.
Emma sighed, briefly closing her eyes "Trust me, Regina, I don't want to speak of...what I saw ever again"
Regina sighed in what looked to Emma like relief "Thank-you, Miss Swan"
"And I'll be sure to tell Mary Margaret not to say anything either"
"WHAT?!"
Emma almost laughed out loud at the look of fury and horror on Regina's newly-flushed face, and Emma heard a small, girly laugh coming from the depths of the apartment.
"You told Miss Blanchard?" Regina asked, desperation evident in her voice despite her attempt to disguise it.
Emma shrugged "I was in shock"
Right then, Mary Margaret's voice floated through the apartment:
"I won't tell anyone, I promise!"
Emma fought a grin while Regina's hands curled into fists, her lips pressing into a taught line. In a smooth and abrupt motion Regina was standing and heading towards the door. Before she left, she turned back to address Emma one more time.
"Until the next time, Miss Swan"
Emma coughed out a laugh "No offence Regina, but I hope to God that there will never be a next time"
Not as much as I wish there had never been a first time Regina thought as she exited the apartment, and closed the door behind her.
OUAT
He had slept with her.
Regina.
The Evil Queen.
Again.
Mr Gold paced about in the office of his shop, it had been around half an hour since Regina had walked out and he was still wondering what the Hell was wrong with him.
He had shagged her. Again! And worst of all he didn't even have the excuse of even being intoxicated to fall back on.
"Why would I do that?" he mumbled to himself "Why would I do that creature?"
He flopped down into his office chair, rubbing a hand across his face.
When he removed it, he saw a gash of smudged red lipstick across his palm.
"By all the Gods!" he cursed himself silently, pulling out one of his desk drawers and grabbing a couple of tissues. He then viciously wiped the Mayors lipstick off of his hand and...good gods...his mouth.
Still, he thought to himself as he brought out a lighter to burn the tissues, at least it was over and done with now. It would never happen again (he was adamant that it Would Not happen again) and he never needed to think of it.
OUAT
Her period was late.
It had taken her a while to notice it, but almost a month had gone by since her and Gold had first done the terrible deed, and Regina had had a nagging feeling that something was not quite right.
She figured it out by doing the maths. And if she was right, her period was a week late.
After dropping Henry off at school, Regina had gone into the shop run by one of Snow White's dwarf friends and, after giving the shop-keeper a subtle warning about what should happen should he repeat her purchase to anyone, picked up a pregnancy test.
Regina then went home, administered the test, and then waited with baited breath for the result, praying to all the gods she could name, hoping against hope that luck would finally be on her side-
It was positive.
She was pregnant.
"For the love of Christ!" she screamed, throwing the test across the room.
Regina held her head in her hands, holding back another scream of rage.
Pregnant. She was freaking pregnant!
After she was done crying, she pulled her expensive cell phone out of her pocket, and called her doctor, making an appointment for later that week. Always practical.
"O.k, thank-you Dr Whale" she said before putting down the phone.
Regina then sat back down on her sofa, a hand absent-mindly going to her stomach as she vowed not to tell anyone about this until she was had to. Not Henry, and especially not Mr Gold.
She just hoped to God that no-one found out.
OUAT
"She was in there, buying a pregnancy test!"
Emma's eyebrows shot upwards. She was in Granny's Diner again, talking to Ruby the Waitress as she sipped a coffee. Ruby was just telling her what she had seen in Mr March's shop when she had popped in there to get something for her grandmother's troublesome scar. According to the gossiping teen, Regina had burst in there and, without noticing that Ruby was there, ordered the flustered shop-keeper to sell her a pregnancy test.
"A pregnancy test?" Emma repeated disbelievingly. Regina. Pregnant.
God help that poor kid.
"I know!" Ruby squealed, momentarily turning a few heads in her direction. She naturally ignored them "Who do you think the father is?"
Emma froze as she raised her coffee cup to her lips. Her eyes widened as she realised there could only be one possible candidate...
"Oh. My. God!" Emma said.
"What?" said Ruby curiously, but Emma shook her head.
"Nothing" she said "How much do I owe you?"
OUAT
Mr Gold was not used to this feeling.
This feeling of being at an utter loss of control, this feeling that his head was about to spin off his shoulders.
This feeling of...Panic.
Rumours had been circling for over two months now, and him being who he was, it was near enough impossible for him not to hear them.
The rumours as to why Madame Mayor Mills hadn't been attending meetings, why she had bought a pregnancy test at March's shop, why she had been attending appointments with Dr Whale
Rumours that she, the Mayor of Storybrooke, was pregnant.
And who did everyone think was the father? Well, thanks to Emma Swan and that idiotic, flighty waitress Ruby, they assumed that it was him.
Mr Gold, the scary pawnbroker.
And now here he was, stood at Regina's front door, hand lifting to knock so he could ask the most important question he knew.
This was so much easier with Milah, he thought furiously as he knocked, at least I wanted her to be pregnant.
Regina opened the door, and before she could say anything Mr Gold jumped right into it:
"Are you pregnant?"
OUAT
"Are you pregnant?"
Regina just stood there, taking in Mr Golds unusual appearance. This usually pin-neat man looked rather out of sorts, despite his usual pin-neat appearance, his hair was tousled like he had been running his hands through it, and his dark brown eyes were wide and panicky.
She narrowed her eyes at him, hoping he wouldn't notice the small bump in her stomach.
"What?" she snapped. Henry was at school again, and right now Regina could not be more grateful.
"There are rumours going around that you are with child" he said slowly, "is it true?"
"Mr Gold, I'm certain I don't know what-"
"Damn it, Regina! Is it true?!"
Regina gritted her teeth and sent him a scorching look. Then she slowly nodded.
Mr Gold sighed and used his cane to step into the house.
"Excuse me, what do you think you're doing?" Regina demanded, and Mr Gold looked at her.
"Well, I don't know about you dear but I think we've got a lot to talk about. Put the kettle on will you?"
"I really don't-"
"Please"
Dammit!
OUAT
"So how far along are you, Dearie?"
Regina didn't respond at first, stirring the tea she had been forced to make. Damn please clause.
When she turned back to him, putting two full cups on the table, she answered his question.
"Around three months" she said, subconsciously moving a hand across her bump.
"So, is it...mine?"
Regina sat down, holding a cup of tea in her hands. She waited a moment before answering Gold's hesitant question, and then shrugged.
"It must be. Who else's could it be?"
Mr Gold exhaled and rubbed a hand across his forehead. He looked ready to spontaneously combust.
But Regina wasn't paying attention, because a memory, long ago forgotten, had suddenly come flooding back to the surface.
The memory of her and the late Sheriff Graham, a few nights before she had killed him, the memory of spending what was to be their last night together...
Regina gasped, and Mr Gold snapped his head towards her "What now?"
Regina didn't give a damn about his harsh tone, she just looked at him in wild hope, hardly daring to believe it could be possible.
"I've just thought of something!"
Gold arched an eyebrow "Go on"
"You might not be the father! A couple of nights before we got drunk, I..." Oh gods, this was so humiliating, to have to tell this to Gold.
Wait. What the Hell was she talking about? This whole situation by itself was humiliating!
"Graham and I, a few nights before he...died, we had a night together!"
Gold's eyes widened in realisation, and he grabbed his cane.
"We have to get a DNA test" he said, already moving out of the house, Regina following closely behind him.
OUAT
It took a week before the results came through, and when Regina finally got that letter through the post she begrudgedly sent Henry to be taken care of by flighty little Ruby (Who still found the entire thing hilarious. Along with the rest of the town. Bastards.) and she went over to Mr Golds Pawnshop. When he looked up and saw Regina brandishing the letter, her quickly moved past her and flipped the sign on his door from "Open" to "Closed"
Both Rumplestiltskin and the Evil Queen held their breath as Regina tore open the letter and pulled it out, her eyes scanning it with furious speed.
After a while, Mr Gold's desperate need to know got the better of him, and he slammed his hand on his till.
"Damn it, woman! Who's is it?!"
Regina looked up at him, and stomach turned into lead when he saw the serious look on her face.
Then she whispered "It's not yours"
"YES!" he bellowed as Regina screamed with joyful laughter. She lifted her palm and Mr Gold slapped it with his own with a joyous "Thank the Gods!"
Then, still laughing, Regina wrapped her arms briefly around his neck and hugged him out of pure joy. Mr Gold stiffened in surprise, but returned it.
"Oh, uh, am I interrupting?"
Regina and Gold split apart as though they had been burned, they hadn't even heard as the bell on the door announced the arrival of Emma Swan.
"For the love of God, do you just follow me around?!" Regina shrieked at her, and Emma raised her hands in defence, slowly backing out of the door.
"I'm sorry" she said, laughter escaping from her lips "I-I'm so sorry, I'll just-just go" and she left the shop.
OUAT
Six months later, Regina Mills gave screaming birth to a beautiful baby boy.
She was in Storybrooke hospital, holding her new son in her arms, when Henry came in accompanied by a nurse. He was beaming as he strained to get a glimpse of his new baby brother.
"Wow! He's so cool!" Henry said, turning his unflinching smile to his adopted mother.
Regina laughed softly, lightly caressing the baby's wrinkled head "Yes, he is"
"What's his name?" Henry demanded excitedly, and Regina looked up at her older son, the smile still on her face.
"Daniel" she said "His name is Daniel"
THE END
OK! That was it, the final part to my Smashed series. AND THAT IS IT! NO MORE! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. What did you think of my name for Regina's baby? I wanted the end to be really sweet :) and what about Regina and Gold's High Five? XD Please read and review.