I want to start by telling you that this fic has swearing in it, so if you don't like reading that sort of thing, you can't say I didn't warn you!

This fic is just my way of laughing at ' the popular kids'; you know, there's at least ten in every class. I'm sure you'll be able to relate to knowing at least a few people like my Remastered!Pevensies. Each Pevensie is the same age as they are in the film:

Peter – 13/14 – I based him on 'hipsters', the kind you find shopping in TopMan and such (but exaggerated, obviously)

Susan = 12/13 – I based her on 'Chavs/WAGs', I know so many of these types of girls it's actually not even funny anymore.

Edmund = 10/11 – I based him on 'Gamers' and my brother, actually. Think of Mike Teavee from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Lucy = 8/9 – Again, I based her on people I know, but a younger version, 'Chavlettes' or 'WAGs-in-training'. Think Verruca Salt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Disclaimer: If I owned Narnia, I'd be Clive Staples Lewis; He wouldn't write something like this, seeing as he wouldn't know what a hipster is….I'd also be dead. So, in a way, I'm quite glad I don't own it.

"Ugh," Lucy Pevensie sighed into her mobile phone. "So yeah, I was like 'No way' and he was all like 'Yes way, because Issy told me that Eric told Maria about it' and it's really annoying because, like, Becky told me Liam said he'd be like that about it but it's just, Brandon told me that, like, Chelsea had told Stacey who was told by Zack who is friends with Emily that-"

She jumped as her bedroom door swung open, crashing against the pink-painted wall to reveal her oldest brother, Peter. "You stole my iPod, didn't you?!" He demanded, running his fingers through his fringe to keep it spiky; he spent hours every morning straightening his dyed-blond hair, and then caking it in gel to attain the desired 'bad-boy' hairstyle that he thought looked good with or without one of his snapback baseball caps. Todays light blue and yellow cap had '#YOLO' in metallic lettering across the front panel.

Lucy whipped around, her meticulously straightened hair swishing about her face. "Do you mind? I'm trying to, like, have a conversation here."

Peter sucked in his cheeks in annoyance. "You're always taking it, just give it back now!"

"I don't have your stupid iPod…I have my own, remember?" Lucy fished her iPod out of her jewellery box. "It's pink? This is obviously mine…unless you're gay?"
"I am not!"

"Oh, you so are!" One of Lucy's favourite past times (Besides gossiping, of course) was winding up her siblings.

"No I'm not!"

"What's wrong with being gay?"

"Nothing! I'm just not!"

"Yes you are; there's no point in denying it!"

"I am not! I like girls!"

Lucy raised an eyebrow at him in disbelief.

"I do! I like boobs!"

"You're gross, Pete, d'y'know that? Jesus, TMI or what…"

"Shut up!" Peter huffed, pulling the hood of his red hoodie over his head with a flourish.

The tap tap tap of their sister, Susan's high-as-humanly-possible-heels could be heard for a few minutes, until she appeared in the doorway. Her brown dip-dyed-pink hair, pulled painfully back into a high ponytail, swished from side-to-side as she nearly tripped over on her shoes. "Where is it?" She questioned dramatically.

"What?" Peter asked half-heartedly, as he had been distracted by his reflection in Lucy's bedside mirror.

Susan threw her arms in the air with irritation that neither of her siblings were paying enough attention to her. "My mascara! You've used it again, haven't you, Lucy?"

"For Christ's sake!" Lucy yelled. "I didn't take your prissy little mascara brush, alright?! I HAVE MY OWN!"

Susan crossed her arms over her chest. "I know you stole it." She pouted.

Peter tore his eyes away from the mirror and placed his hands on his hips. "And you took my iPod."

Lucy groaned with frustration and clicked the End Call button on her phone without saying goodbye to her friend. "No I didn't…And I thought we already covered that I'm using my own iPod!"

"Yes you did!"

"No I-"

"What the fuck is all the noise about?" Their brother Edmund had wandered in, unnoticed until then. He didn't even look up from his games console or turn down the music playing through the earphone stuck in his left ear as he spoke. "I can hear it over my music, for fuck sake! I'm trying to blow up this church with my squadron of assassins in time to Sexy and I Know It!"

Peter rounded on Edmund, pointing an accusing finger an inch from his forehead. "YOU stole my IPod!"

Edmund looked up at this, Peter's finger bopping him on the nose. "What? I did not! This is mine!"

"You don't even have an iPod!" Susan pointed out, both helpfully and unhelpfully, depending on whose side you were on.

Edmund scowled. "I do so!"

"No you don't!" Peter shouted.

"I DO!"

Lucy looked at Edmund innocently. "You wanted that PS3 when we all wanted iPods, remember?"

"You little liar, Eddie!" Peter exclaimed.

Edmund narrowed his eyes at his younger sister. "You tale-telling little shit!"

Lucy smiled at him smugly as Peter snatched the iPod out of his pocket and pulled the earphones out of his ear. "The truth needed to be told."

Edmund's cheeks flushed pink with anger. "Well then, Saint Lucy, I guess you won't mind me telling Suzy that I saw you putting on her lippy this morning!"

Susan gasped in horror and Edmund grinned as Lucy glared at him. "I've been looking for that for hours! I told you not to use it! Take it off!"

"No!"

"Take it off now!"

"No way! It looks much better on me than on you!"

Susan looked like she might faint. "Take that back! And take it off NOW!" She lunged at Lucy, her arms flailing manically in an attempt to wipe the lipstick off her sister's lips.

Edmund rolled his eyes and glanced back down at his game before looking up again in horror. "I'm d-dead…I'm dead!"

Peter stopped lazily scrolling through his Twitter feed and turned to his brother. "What're you talking ab-?"

"I've lost!" Edmund shouted in Peter's face. "I died and it's all your fault! If you hadn't distracted me and taken my iPod off me then-"

"It isn't even your iPod! You admitted it!"

"I did not!"

"Did too!"

"Shut up!"

"No, you shut up!"

"Give me back my lipstick!"

"No! I don't know where it is anymore!"

"You're lying, give it here!"

"You can't make me!"

The noise of the children arguing got steadily louder and louder until-

"BE QUIET!" The Pevensie's mother had stormed in, unseen by her squabbling children. None of the children heard her over their own shouting.

"I-Is that…mascara on your eyelashes?" Susan gasped.

"N-"

"You did steal my mascara!"

"I did not! I used mine!"

"You don't have any makeup! Mum won't let you have any, that's why you're always using mine!"

"I DON'T! STOP MAKING THINGS UP, SUZY!"

"I'M NOT! THIS MASCARA IS MINE! THE LIPPY'S MINE! YOU ALWAYS USE MY STUFF!"

"It's my iPod!"

"Just give it up, Eddie! We both know it isn't!"

"I am not a liar!"

"Yes you are! You always lie about everything!"

"I don't! I never lie! Stop scrolling through my twitter!"

"OH MY GOD, EDDIE! YOU DON'T HAVE TWITTER!"

"YES I DO!"

"JUST GO BACK TO YOUR GAME AND SHUT YOUR LYING GOB!"

"That's it!" Mrs Pevensie shouted, but not as loudly as before. "I give up! I can't take any more of this! You're all going to the summer camp I warned you about!"

All of the children stopped shouting simultaneously to stare at their mother, mouths agape, with identical looks of horrified shock on their faces.

The sudden silence rang through the air as their mother shrugged in reply to their unspoken questions and walked out of the room.

So? Thoughts? Let me know with a review! It'd much appreciated and spurs me on to writing the next chapters!