The Following Trailer Is Rated NFM For No F##king Mercy!
From the franchise that gave birth to the creepiest fanbase of all time, comes the epilogue that elicited a wave of heartfelt emotion from around the world. Not because it was good, but because people couldn't wait to close the book on this dark era in human history once and for all.
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn- Part 2!
After four movies of playing footsie, Twilight has finally gotten its shit together, and is ready to deliver the climactic battle that will decide the fate of... well… not much. But not before ninety minutes of buildup, which they could have taken care of during the last two movies.
Shiver as Jacob spends the entire film fighting a losing battle as he attempts to justify his attraction to Renesmee, after his imprinting does the unimaginable and elicits an actual emotional response from Bella, which shows just how f##ked up the situation really is.
Then jump into the one actual battle that Twilight was kind enough to throw to the thousands of boys who got dragged to the theater by their girlfriends, in a genuinely fun and exciting fight complete with death and carnage… before it's revealed that the whole thing was just Alice teasing the audience with a vision from the future. How dare you Alice! Torturing us with a badass future only to snatch it away! Screw You!
And finally, after all the horseshit has reached its climax, we end on Bella proclaiming her love for shovelface, again, in the most cartoony, unrealistic line in the whole saga, and that's saying a lot.
So break out the party hats and the pumpkin pie, and unwrap an early Christmas present; the franchise conclusion that made millions of boyfriends weep in relief, and caused millions of unstable women to suffer from Post Twilight Depression (Yes, that's a real thing, look it up).
Starring:
Stoneface- Edward
Captain Oblivious- Bella's Dad
Violence Tease- Alice
Pound Puppies- The Wolf Pack
Pedo- Jacob
Short end of the parent stick- Renesmee
And still bland as shit!- Bella
The Twilight Saga: The Best Christmas present Ever!
Goodbye, all you needy teen girls and creepy Twimoms. Alas, we knew you far better than we wanted to.
Well, that's it for the Twilight Honest Trailers! But don't worry, the fun has just begun!