"I'm a police officer. Yeah like Beth."
The words ricochet around her head. It was all she could think about. It was all she could hear.
"Like Beth."
She dug in her handbag, her had closing in around a bottle of pills and a carry-on sized vodka bottle.
"Like Beth."
Two pale pills slid down her throat without effort, though she washed them down with the vodka anyway out of habit.
The more she stared at her reflection the more it morphed into Beth's face. You wouldn't think much of a transformation would be needed. Beth had less worry lines than Alison. She'd also broken her nose the second week on patrol in a tussle with a shop lifter and because of it her nose was always bent ever so slightly to the left. Her jaw wasn't as stiff either; she'd always been more easy-going even if it wasn't by much.
She felt Alexander's presence behind her but didn't turn away from her reflection. Instead her hand tightened around another carry-on sized bottle. This time gin.
"So why don't you tell me about that?"
What was there to tell? How she missed her? How she could still hear her voice sometimes? How she sometimes woke up in tears after dreaming about her?
No, she doubted that's the kind of thing that woman had wanted to hear.
This time the alcohol washed down three pills. She didn't notice though; she hadn't bothered to count them.
She probably wanted to know what Beth was to her. There were several thinks Alison could have said to shock her. She could have told the truth for one. Clones would shock anyone. Beth hadn't been just a clone though. That would have probably shocked her even more.
Her hand tightened around another bottle. This time vodka again. She could feel herself go numb, just not quickly enough.
"Like Beth."
Three more pills chased the clear spirit. She didn't even flinch.
Her world felt small and big at the same time. She stood in the pre-show circle, her jaw tighter than usual as her memories of Beth slowly began to blur.
They took their places. She took a peak out into the crowd. Seeing Felix and knowing he came back for her should have made her smile but instead all she thought of was the fact that Beth wasn't sitting beside him.
"Two minutes people. Two minutes!"
She ran back to her bag.
"Like Beth."
Two more pills, and a final bottle of gin she hadn't even realize she'd packed. She wasn't even fully aware she was taking them at this point.
"Places everyone! Places! Alison your mark."
She swayed on the spot but she had no time to recover. She was being pushed forward. Sarah Stubbs was there speaking to her. She spoke back, barely.
Everything was clouded. The music that had started seemed far off in the distance. She was being prompted to sing, though all she could feel were the pills in her stomach and the alcohol in her liver. She wanted to vomit but she had to sing, and dance, and walk, and walk and walk and –
"Maybe I'm like Beth?" Was her last thought before she hit the floor.