I can't really say how it happened. It could have been a moment of weakness that got me into this situation. A feeling of desperation. I couldn't do anything but accept it at that moment. I've finally given up hope. That the only one I've ever loved, who I've devoted my whole life to, my dear Seiji will never return my affections. He'll never love me back.
When I woke up however...I should have been disgusted with myself, I should have been cursing myself and what I've done the moment I realized what had happened. But instead I found myself yearning to be closer to that warmth he was providing me with. To just stay as I was at that moment, embraced by that horrible man who gave me so much of his tender warmth.
"I love you." he says
His eyes bore into mine with a deceptively kind and loving smile plastered on his handsome face as he looked down at me.
I knew his words were nothing more than a lie. He may be a great liar and actor. But I knew him way too much for me to fall for his lies. This man, who oh so enjoys watching and causing people's sufferings doesn't even know the meaning of the word love, much less feel it himself.
However...
All I've ever wanted, all I've ever wished for, is to feel loved. That's all. I want to feel like someone loves me. I've tried so, so hard.
So with my back pressed comfortably against his soft mattress, I looked up at him with a look that clearly showed I'm in love.
"I love you too"
I'll accept his fake love. I'll accept your love Izaya Orihara, and I'll love you back with all my heart. Even though I know every word and every kind look and every tender touch, it's nothing more than an elaborate lie. Fake.
But I'll take it. After all, it's the closest thing to love I could ever hope to receive.