A/N: I read this really old fic some time ago, that had this exact same idea, which I totally loved and wanted to make my own version of. All credit goes to the author who's brilliant idea I am, ahem, borrowing. I have so many Destiel feels, that I don't even know what to do with them.
Dean laid still on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Why did he always had to mess things up? It was a simple hunt, just something to pass the time. But no, Dean just had to fuck it up.
There was one word in the whole wide world, that made Dean instantly cringe: witches. Fucking witches with their spells, hexes and curses. They had a strange effect on Dean: he always got this overwhelming urge to insult them (yo, Sabrina! Where's your broom, or did you fly here with a vacuum cleaner today? or So, I heard that Salem is a great place to HANG out this time of the year or one of the worst ones being Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you a transsexual?). But yeah, when Dean saw a witch, his mouth would start moving on its own.
He and Sam had been investigating a series of odd happenings in a small town. They thought that it might be a curse of some sort, that only affected the most handsome men in the town. The poor men had all suddenly developed a very nasty case of acne. They had also been suffering from other, various health issues, like complete hair loss, warts in exotic places and rather impressive growth of body hair.
After a day of interviewing, they came to a conclusion.
'' It has to be a witch'' Sam said with an unhappy frown.
'' Noooooo, why is it always witches….'' Dean huffed.
'' Let's just find her and get this over with. I really wanna get back to the bunker''.
'' Alright, alright, let's go''.
'' Oh, and Dean?''
'' Yes?''.
'' Try and not to piss this one off, ok? She seems to have something against men…''.
'' Oh Sammy, you know me. I'm nothing but a gentlemen when dealing with hexing bitches'' .
'' Sometimes I just worry….''.
They located the witch, who was living in a small farm on the outskirts of the town. She looked fairly young, but as Dean phrased it, she had been hit with the ugly stick. Sam oddly found himself feeling sympathy for the young woman.
'' What gives me the pleasure of yer presence, Winchesters?'' The witch sneered at them.
'' I think you know why we are here, you've been prancing around the town and throwing curses at the poor men.''
'' They had it coming. Every single one of them deserved it.''
'' Why?'' Sam asked, genuinely interested.
'' They thought just because they were handsome, they had the right to do anything they wanted and get away with it. They needed to learn a lesson, that without their looks, they have nothing. I just made their outsides match the insides''
'' There is nothing wrong with having the looks and using them occasionally'' Dean's mouth decided to join the conversation.
'' And you would know that.''
'' What did they do to you?''
'' Look pretty boy, I know I don't have much going on look-wise, but I don't want to be reminded of it. Every time they saw me they made sure to tell me how ugly I am or how I will be forever alone because nobody would ever want me. I may not be pretty, but I am a nice person. They just can't see it because the only thing they care about is how you look.''
'' Why listen to them? Maybe you just got angry, because you know they are right? And throwing a bucket of herpes on someone's face doesn't exactly make you a nice person.'' Dean's mouth said with a cocky grin.
Sam felt like shit was going to hit the fan very soon and very fast and this time, like almost every time Sam got these feelings, he was right.
'' Maybe somebody should teach you a lesson, Dean Winchester. Words can hurt too'' The witch said and started to chant something in latin.
Suddenly, Dean's world went black.
That's how he ended up here, alone, in his room with a note on the outside of his door saying: Don't enter, Dean's cursed. Yeh, thanks Sam, real smooth. Dean was on the verge of falling asleep, when he heard the soft flutter of wings. No, he whispered to himself, go away.
''Hello Dean. Sam told me that you are under a curse of some sort.''
'' Cas, you need to leave. You know, then one thing you're really good at.''
'' Dean I don't underst….''
'' Yeah Cas, of course you don't. I don't know what I was expecting from an angel that doesn't even know how to stay dead.''
'' Dean, that is hardly my…''
'' LEAVE, you fucking lame excuse of an angel. God, sometimes I wish they had sent someone else to save my sorry ass from hell, so I wouldn't have to deal with you.''.
'' I see. I'm sorry to bother you, I shall return later'' and with that, Cas was gone.
For a long time, Dean stared at the spot Castiel was standing on. I'm so sorry.
Sam almost had a stroke and dropped a whole bowl of cereal right on to his lap, when he heard Castiel's stern voice right behind him.
'' You were right, he is indeed cursed.''
'' You have any idea what kind of curse it is?''
'' No. I have to go, I will be back later.''
Sam found himself again alone in the kitchen. He stood up and sighed tiredly, trying to push all the cruel things Dean had said to him out of his mind. He knew it wasn't his brother talking, but he could not help that the words got to him.
He could see the pain in Dean's eyes when he spat those hurtful things out of his mouth, he could hear the I'm so sorry in his voice when he told him that their mother's death was his fault and he deserved every shitty thing that had happened to him.
Sam remember what the witch had said: maybe somebody should teach you a lesson… Words can hurt too.
Two days went by and Sam had no idea what kind of curse the witch had made. He had contacted numerous other hunters and read so much that the words began to blend together. Finally he had been contacted by a huntress, who was specialized in dealing with witches.
'' So Sam, I heard that the lover boy has been hit with a curse.'' The huntress, Luna, said.
'' Yeah, I have no idea what we're dealing with''.
'' So, tell me more about this curse.''
'' The witch said something about words hurting too before she cursed Dean. After that, he has been saying the most hurtful shit to me you can imagine.''
'' Who else has been talking to him?''
'' Our friend, Cas.''
'' You know what he said to him?''
'' Actually no. He left before I could ask him.''
'' I have a vague idea what you might be dealing with, but I need to see him before I can be sure. You mind if I and a few of my buddies stop by tomorrow morning?''
'' I need any help I can get. I'll text you the coordinates to our place.''
'' Thanks. And try to get in contact with this friend of yours, he could be helpful.''
Sam tried to call Cas. After two hours of futile attempts to get Castiel to show up, Sam gave up.
He should've known that only Dean possessed the magical Angel -hotline and what Sam and Cas had was more like regular mail, that often went ignored by the angel's behalf. So, he just had to wait for Cas to show up.
The next morning came and Cas was nowhere to be seen. Luna arrived with two other hunters and after a short exchange of words, they went to see Dean. Sam waited for them in the kitchen.
That night, after a very uneventful day, Dean tried to get some sleep.
''You know it's fucking creepy to stare at people while they sleep?'' Dean said sitting up, staring at Castiel who was standing next to his bed.
'' I am sorry for the intrusion, I wanted to see how you were doing.''
'' Just fucking peachy, so you can leave now.'' Dean laid back down and turned his back to Castiel.
'' I worry about you.''
'' Well that's nice, but I'm a big boy already. You should be more worried of yourself and your habit of fucking things up.''
'' You don't mean that.''
'' Yes I do. Everything you touch breaks. You are poison and you don't even realize it. You betrayed me and Sam, you betrayed your brothers and sisters. You destroyed heaven. You just take things and break them and I hate you because of that. You broke me.'' Dean spoke with a venomous tone, that made something in Castiel ache.
'' But I didn't break you, I fixed you…'' Cas stated quietly.
Dean sat back up and stared at Cas.
'' No, you didn't fix me. You just took something broken and tried to glue it back together, I look like I'm fine, but when you look close enough, you see I'm still broken. I am falling apart again because of you. You did that.''
Castiel stood still, feeling so small under Dean's stare.
'' Nothing more to say to defend yourself? Didn't think so. Where is the all mighty ´Castiel, Angel-Of-The-Lord´ that leads heavenly wars and takes on enemies twice as strong as himself? 'Cause right now, all I see is a tired and pathetic person who is so weak that he can't even defend himself. I pity you.''
'' I should go and see Sam''.
'' Yeah, you do that. I can't stand the sight of you anymore''
The room felt so empty and cold without Cas in it, that Dean knew that if he was any weaker as a person, he would probably cry.
''Hello, Sam''
The sudden appearance of Castiel caused Sam to startle and spill lukewarm tea all over his crotch.
'' Cas, always a pleasure'' Sam said and tried to dry his wet jeans with a towel.
'' Is this one of those things when you say something but mean something completely different?''
Sam stared at Cas for a while.
'' I'm gonna change my pants and then we need to talk, so stay put, ok?'' Sam said and disappeared into his room.
When Sam got back, Castiel was sitting on a chair, staring at the wall with a stern look on his face, which seemed to be a common expression among angels. In Sam's opinion, Cas looked constipated.
'' I know what the curse is'' Sam said and got Cas' attention.
'' Do you know how to get rid of it?''
'' Yes, we need to find the witch, so she can lift the curse.''
'' Let me handle her'' Cas said and stood up.
'' Did you visit Dean''
'' Yes, right before I came to see you.''
'' Figures… How was he?''
'' Delightful.'' Cas said with a dry tone, that gave Sam the impression that Dean had been anything but delightful.
Again, Sam found himself standing alone in the kitchen.
'' I thought they were joking when they said that the Winchesters had an angel to do their dirty work'' The witch cackled.
'' I do not serve the Winchesters'' Cas stated.
'' Well, there are different opinions about that. I imagine you are here to discuss of one very obnoxious hunter, hmm?''
'' Yes. Lift the curse.''
'' Or what? He deserved it.''
'' Knowing Dean, he probably did. But I think he has learnt his lesson, so lift the curse.''
'' Aww, has he hurt your little angelic feelings? I was under the impression, that angels don't feel that much. Are you sure you know where your loyalties lie?''
Cas squinted at her.
''All right, all right, don't get all angel pissy on me. I will lift the curse off of the hunter and then we can both go our merry ways.'' The witch laughed.
'' And the men''.
'' What?''
'' You will also lift the curse you have the men under. I understand why you did it, but that does not make it acceptable.''
'' Cheez, are you a spoil sport. But fine, I have enough sense in me not to argue with an angel. The curses will be lifted tonight, as soon as the moon rises.''
'' Thank you.''
'' The curse shall be lifted tonight'' Castiel announced right behind Sam's back.
Sam was sure that Cas did that on purpose, just to scare the shit out of him and to make him run out of clean pants. He was glad that he had decided to drink orange juice instead of tea this time.
'' I will just go and… Just wait here…'' Sam says with a defeated tone and goes to his room to change into a pair of clean pants.
When Sam walks back to the kitchen, he sees Castiel standing in front of the coffee machine, holding something. Something that he recognized to be Dean's coffee mug. Cas was holding it like it was something valuable and fragile, like if he broke it he would be punished.
'' He loves you, you know'' Sam blurted out and almost caused Cas to drop the mug.
'' What?'' Cas said and set down the mug before turning around to stare at Sam.
'' The curse. I had some hunters come here to look at him. One of them had dealt with something like this before. A curse that makes one say awful things to the people they love.''
Cas was silent for awhile
'' Well he has said that I am family, like a brother to him. I will forgive him for the unpleasant words and try to think of them as a sign of affection. I will be at the library.'' Cas said and walked away from the kitchen.
Sam watched Cas walk out, towards the library. I think that the feelings my brother has for you are far more than just brotherly….. Sam thought to himself and decided to go for a run.
To be sure, Sam waited until midnight before he ventured into Dean's room. Dean sat on the edge of his bed, back towards the door.
'' Hey Dean, everything okay'' Sam asked cautiously.
'' Yeah, you can come in. I'm not going to verbally rip you a new one anymore.''
'' That's good… So what did we learn from this?''
'' Not to piss off witches…'' Dean groaned and they both knew that wasn't going to happen.
They sat in silence for awhile.
'' Look Sam, I'm sorry. The things I said….'' Dean started, only to be cut off by Sam.
'' You don't have to apologize, I get it. It was the curse talking, not you. It wasn't nice, but I'm an adult and I can handle it. Cas, on the other hand….''
'' What about Cas?''
'' You should talk to him, I don't know what you said to him but I think he took the things you said a little bit more personally than I did.''
'' Where is he?''
'' At the library. You know how really old and smelly books calm him down.''
'' Hey, Cas'' Dean stepped into the library and saw Cas sitting on a couch with a really old looking book on his lap.
'' Found something interesting?'' He continued, referring to the book Cas was reading.
'' Yes, this is a historical study on the art of torture throughout the human history'' Cas said with a deadpan voice, not lifting his eyes from the book.
Dean swallowed loudly.
'' That, ummm, sounds fascinating… But I actually wanted to talk to you, so if you could drop the light night -time reading for awhile, okay?'' Dean asked and walked towards Cas.
Finally Cas looked at him and with a heavy sigh, closed the book and set it on the table near him.
'' You have my undivided attention, Dean'' Cas smiled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. Dean hated that.
'' The things I said to you, they were cruel and unnecessary and I didn't mean any of it.''
'' Yes, Sam insinuated that I should take your words as a token of our brotherly bond. Therefor you are forgiven and I will not hold your words against you.'' Cas said with an all too pleasant smile.
Dean then realized that this was an important moment. In this moment, he could just back off from discussing his feelings towards Cas and claim that what they had between them was just a very strange and a bit fucked up brotherly bond. Or he could stir up that hornet's nest and see where it takes him. Dean had always had a tendency to freeze at important moments, to make wrong choices that got him more trouble than he could chew. He needed to think this through, he needed more tim…
'' You love me'' Cas said and interrupted Dean's trail of thought.
'' I- I- what?'' Dean stammered.
'' You heard me. Because of the curse, I know you love me.''
There was no pleasant smile on Castiel's face anymore. The look on his face was cold and tired, it was the face of someone who was tired of playing games.
'' I- I…. Yeah, about that…'' Dean said, scratching his neck.
'' And I love you. But you should know, that the feelings I am harbouring for you are far from brotherly. But I think you already knew that.'' Cas said, looking Dean straight in the eyes.
'' Why are you saying all this?''
'' Things have been too complicated for too long, Dean. I don't want complicated anymore. These are my feelings and you can take what you want from them. At least at the end of the day, I can say I was honest with you and with what I want.'' Cas said and stood up.
He walked past Dean, but stopped at the library door.
'' Someone made me question where my loyalties lay and I realized that they are not where they should be anymore. I was made to serve my father, not humans. But here I am, serving you, giving you my loyalty and apparently, my heart that I should not have.''
Dean turned to look at him.
'' Do you regret it?'' he asked quietly.
'' Not a single moment.''
Again with the smile. The corners of Cas' lips turn up but his eyes don't smile, but they grieve. Dean remembers himself saying to Cas that he broke him and yes, that look is breaking Dean in a level he didn't know was possible.
Slowly, Dean started to walk towards Cas.
'' My feelings for you….'' He started and came to a halt right before Cas. '' Brotherly has nothing to do with them. My feelings for you are scary, overwhelming and pure. I love you so much that sometimes I hate you for it, because love is a weakness and it makes people do stupid things. This love will probably get one, or both of us killed one day.'' Dean said, getting as close to Cas as he could get, resting his right hand on Cas' cheek and pressing his forehead against his.
'' But you know, it's totally going to be worth it'' He finished with a smile.
This time the smile reached those lovely blue eyes, and when they finally shared the first one of many kisses, he could feel the smile against his own lips.
FYI, Dean Winchester still hates witches.