I didn't know when it changed, my feelings for Edward. I really didn't know when it changed, maybe because I wasn't expecting it to. I mean, my emotions towards him have fluctuated so many times that I was convinced that the hatred I felt for him was the last emotion I'd ever feel for him.
Now, I know very well that many people will think 'hatred is too strong an emotion to feel towards someone' but if you know Edward like I do then even you too would feel hatred for him. So why is my emotion towards him changing, you ask, why am I rambling about someone I supposedly hate at 2 o'clock in the morning? Well, that said someone has done the unthinkable. He has made me care about him.

Year 1

I could still hear Renee's rambles even though I'd tuned her out. That woman just doesn't know when to shut up or stop talking. I mean, I know I ramble like she does but the difference between the both of us is that I tend to keep my rambling inside my head and not out where it can disturb people's peace.
"Bella, I know you think you know it all but trust me I know this, you will forget something extremely important and you will call me and make drive all the way down to your university just to give it to you, which is why I keep telling you to check again that you have everything. I mean I know we made a list but can you think of anything we may have missed?" on and on she keeps yapping.
Don't get me wrong I love her – it may not seem like I do, but I adore her. But if I were to choose between her and daddy then I'm definitely choosing Charlie. Charlie is my dad and unlike my mother he doesn't talk too much; I guess opposites do attract.
"Bell, it's extremely rude to be daydreaming when your own mother is talking to you," she berated and I rolled my eyes. I forgot how dramatic she can also be.
"I'm not daydreaming, mother," I retorted, "and we've been over the list so many times that I've got the list ingrained in my brain: bed sheets, pillows, food, tampons, pots..."
"No need to mock me, Bella, I'm just looking out for you because if I don't then who will? I'm you mother and its my job to make sure that you have all that you may need."
… and there is the guilt. The Oscar performance of the year goes to Renee Swan for her dazzling performance, and the crowd cheers and fresh bouquets of flowers are presented to her.

Snickering silently, I respond like the loving daughter that I am, "I'm sorry, Mum, I'm just stressed about all the new friends I'll have to make." There. That should make her happy.
"Oh, why are you scared? Isn't Alice coming to the same university as you? I thought you told me that all the Cullens are going to the university, I mean that's one of the only reasons your father and I agreed that you could go to that university even though you'll be way too far away from us."
All in one breath, damn Renee; thou art truly a woman of extreme talent.
"Yes, they are, but I'm trying to expand my circle and move away from being friends with just Alice, you know," I replied. Some part of me is scared that Alice will ditch me for someone else, so I have to be prepared. I mean, let's face it – she's way cooler than me. Alice has been my friend for some time now – we meet in secondary school, year 9 to be precise. I was the new kid because my family moved around a lot back then and we had moved to a new area again which meant I had to change school. To be perfectly honest I wasn't too worried about changing schools. My biggest fear was that my mum would be one of the teachers at my school and I was fervently praying to God, and even baby Jesus, that she wouldn't get a job there.

I remember my first day at Trinity Church of England Secondary School. I was super nervous because I was this short black girl and I know almost all the people in my year group started secondary school from year 7 together, so some part of me was really prepared to be an outcast among the students. I mean, the fact that the school was a Church of England school was mainly what my parents were thinking about. Even though they would have preferred a catholic school, they really do not mind Church of England. All the details about my first day had already been sent to me via letter a few days before starting school, so I knew which house and tutor group I would be in before getting there.

I remember I got to school really early and a teacher showed me to the class where my tutor group was and she left me there outside the door, waiting for my tutor group teacher to get there and open the door. When the teacher got there, she passed me my timetable and introduced me to the class. She instructed a student to take me to my lesson and around the school for the whole day. However, after my first lesson, the student left me instead of taking to my next lesson.

That led to me getting lost and getting to my second lesson of the day late and I barged my way into the class which forced the teacher to stop talking and all eyes turned to me – talk about a mortifying moment. To make matters worse, all the tables were filled up and I could see it in all their face,s telling me that I'm definitely not sitting with them... and that was how I met Alice. I remember I was very close to tears then I saw this girl with curly brown hair waving me forward to come to her table. She was like a life saver. When I got to the table she introduced me to her other friends: Angela, Lucy and Jessica.

That was the start secondary school and my friendship with Alice Cullen. Unknown to me was that said friendship would last for years to come, and we would go through hell and back.