Rating:Mature

Archive Warning: Underage

Story Summary:

Flark.

There were two of them.

Well, OK, this wasn't that bad, actually. There was probably a totally reasonable explanation that (hopefully) didn't involve clones, skrulls, or life model decoys.

Story Tags: Relationships: Sam Alexander/Peter Parker, Sam Alexander/Petra Parker, Peter Parker/Sam Alexander/Petra Parker

Characters: Peter Parker (Spider-Man), Sam Alexander (Nova), Petra Parker (Spider-Girl), Danny Rand (Iron Fist), Luke Cage (Power Man), Ava Ayala (White Tiger) Doctor Strange Sorcerer Supreme, Phil Coulson (Agent Coulson), Mary Jane Watson, Flash Thompson, Cameo by Agent Preston, Gwen Stacy, Harry Osborn, Aunt May, Cameo by Billy Kaplan, Other Character Tags to Be Added...

Additional Tags: Prompt Fill, Tumblr Prompt, Pre-OT3 Shipping, I Don't Even Know, Sorry Not Sorry, I Blame Tumblr, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Slow Build, Symbolism, Swearing, Bad Puns, Innuendo, Bad Jokes, Slow Burn, Awkwardness, Teenagers, Lies, Masturbation[scenes edited to meet fanfiction's requirements. unedited scenes available on AO3/Archive of Our Own], Masturbation in Shower[scenes edited to meet fanfiction's requirements. unedited scenes available on AO3/Archive of Our Own], Footnotes, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Humor, Sexual Content[scenes edited to meet fanfiction's requirements. unedited scenes available on AO3/Archive of Our Own], Gratuitous Footnote Usage, High School, Carnival, Superheroes, Robotics, Plushies, Marvel Cameos, Kissing, Mind Control, Popular Culture References, Drama, Other Additional Tags to Be Added... (I'm Bad At Tagging)

Chapter Summary: There was an extra one that morning.

Revisions: Edited for FanFiction dot Net 11/17/2015.

Chapter 1: Extra! Extra!

Sam woke up, instantly aware that something wasn't right. What that something was, though, was escaping him.

He'd shut the window himself, after coming in from a rough night backing up the Fantastic Four with their weird axt shlag. From his place on the floor he could tell that it was still shut.

No gunshots, explosions, laser fire, screaming, maniacal laughter or any other immediately obvious 'bad news' noises could be heard. Though to be fair Parker usually woke up, too, when he heard those sounds.

His helmet was sitting quietly in his backpack, no angry glowing or urgent beeping and no irritated-insistent urges to put it on, either. The house was, well, not quiet, not with five teenagers and Aunt May all living there, but there weren't any weirder than normal noises for this time of night.

He sat up to give the room a quick once over, door shut, nothing and no one hiding in the shadows between the door and Peter's bed, a head of messy brunette hair resting on Peter's pillow, another head of messy brunette hair resting on Peter's chest, Peter's alarm clock reminding him it was too das't early o'clock [1]…Wait.

Problem found.

Instead of one slightly nerdy, inhumanly built, spider powered person in said person's bed, there were two.

But the not-Peter that was using the actual pillow had hair just a little bit too long, and lips just slightly too full. And, oh, yeah, actual Peter was cuddled face first in her boobs. He should probably try and wake Webs up first.

Though were they both Webs? Whatever. He reached for his smart phone.

Definitely, definitely he should try to wake Pete up before he woke up… Webigail? Ugh, she'd probably punch him if he called her that. With the ease of someone used to sneaking embarrassing pictures of rightly paranoid friends, Sam tilted his phone's camera so the flash wouldn't wake either of them.

Webby though... he could probably get away with that. At the flash two nearly, but not exactly, identical groans of what could generously be interpreted as his name sounded. 'Webby' pulled the pillow over her head and Peter snuggled in deeper to her chest. They both sighed in almost perfect unison.

Still asleep, they were lean, nerdy, messy haired, adorable perfection. Or well, they would be perfection if they weren't wearing identically stupid pajamas. Seriously. Who wears lame striped pajamas? Spider-Man does, and apparently Spider...Lady?

He emailed his new picture to himself, anyways.

They really needed to figure out what was going on though. Aunt May would be up soon. He was pretty sure she knew about their superheroing but SHIELD didn't think she did. So that meant sneaking around and making lame excuses.

While he was admittedly better at that bit than Peter. It would be kind of difficult to explain a new niece, especially one that wasn't going to be sticking around.

Locking his phone, he sat it back down on the nightstand and turned off the alarm. He so did not need two super powered spider people freaking out when they both flailed at the alarm clock and hit each other instead.

He leaned over the bed and started poking Peter in the ribs, "Hsst, Parker."

Peter scrunched his face up and tried to bury his head in 'Webby's' breasts. It was relatively successful, but probably would be bad for his health when she woke up. She grumbled something incoherent[2] that definitely did not sound like 'go away Buckethead' Sam told himself [3]. She tried to wiggle away from Peter's clinging without any luck. Spider strength and spider stickiness could be really annoying. Sam could empathize. From strictly platonic post nightmare cuddling, of course [4].

But, huh, he probably should have seen that she'd be a Parker, too. He renewed his rib poking and tried again "Pete, wake up," Peter protested wordlessly, "It's kinda important," Peter made a sound that reminded Sam of space whales. He had never gotten around to looking up their species properly [5], but, eh, unimportant now, "Peter. Please—" he whisper-shouted somewhat desperately. He just knew he'd be blamed somehow for the inappropriate boobening if she woke up first.

Peter snapped his head up and gazed at Sam with what felt like laser focus. Sam sunk back down into a crouch, blue eyes followed his movements, "Uh, Pete, don't freak out, OK? But, uh…" Sam waved his hands vaguely at the bed. "I think we have a problem…"

／/＼｡｡／\＼ミ to be continued 彡／/＼｡｡／\＼

Footnotes:

1This was a very specific time that exists exactly between 'really shouldn't have stayed out this late' and 'should have gotten up before Master Rocket'.

2 It was most definitely not anything even vaguely resembling 'Go away Buckethead.'

3 It was, infact, "Go away, Buckethead."

4 A completely normal activity for two teenagers to engage in. Happens all the time. Practically a Terran tradition.

5 This was mainly because it was extremely impolite to interrupt a pitched battle for life and death to ask your opponent(s) their species name.