The Moonlight's Heart
A/N: Hello everyone! So I finished playing Kingdom Hearts III about a month ago and I have always wanted to do a fan fiction about the game since I started writing fanfic. Now I figured that this would be the final game of the franchise and we could move on with our happy lives after several years of playing and waiting for the third game….BUT it didn't go down like that. So I just decided to do a small fanfic (a one shot) and leave it at that. The pairing in here used to be one of my favorites when I started playing the game (back in 2002) but playing all the spin-off games and II & III it kind of died out for me *sigh* and now I'm like "just put the darn kids together already!" (Sora & Kairi) because, let's face it, Square isn't going to separate the pairing (even though I think it would make for a better character development for Sora but *shrugs* I never really get what I want when it comes to pairings, this is why I started writing fan fictions lol). So the event that takes place in this one shot is going to date 5 years after the events of KH3 (even the secret ending) and the idea more-so comes from what I had in mind since KH1 to how I now perceive things. Any Sora/Kairi shippers, this fanfic IS NOT for you but you're more than welcome to tag along ^_^. Now enough of my ranting, because I'll definitely have more to say after, so until then, ENJOY!
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the rights or characters to this game.
*WARNING* SOME SPOILERS!
—-
Riku's POV
The sixtieth month…
I couldn't help but sigh as I looked out at the ocean's midnight blue surface while the moonlight glistened across it. The sounds of the waves would normally calm me, but I know she's waiting on the other side…as she always does…every month. Gripping the handle of the keyblade in my hand, I could feel myself gritting my teeth. Why? Why do I feel this way every time when I have to bear the bad news once again? Shouldn't it get old? You would think after fifty-nine worlds and fifty-nine times of the same result…fifty-nine times of telling her that it was a failure once again…that the sixtieth time would be easy. But each time…it never was.
The keyblade disappeared as I could feel my heart sinking into my chest, like it always does when I come back. Another failed attempt and I'm not sure where else to go. I was certain that this world would definitely be the one, but all everyone knew about Sora was…*sigh* Sora…they only knew stories told about him. The pain within my heart started again as doubt began to fill my head. I had to shake it away because I needed to be strong, I had to have hope and if not for myself…then at least for her.
Several years ago I started to blame myself for not going with him or at least stopping him, but Mickey pulled me back from that temporary slum of depression. He told me to never let my hope waiver because I knew, deep down in my heart that Sora was alright, that he'd be with us again. I tightly held on to that hope so that I would never give up and she did the same. We both continued to try, with all our hearts, to keep the roadway full of light just in case he had a different route, a different path, to make his way home. But I wondered…just…the last expression on her face when I left a month ago…
*ring ring ring*
I forgot that damn gummi-phone was in my pocket! Nearly giving me a heart-attack as it broke me of my thoughts. After retrieving it, I looked down at the screen to see Mickey's picture pop up. That's right, I told him I was heading back. I answered the call.
"Hey Mickey."
"Riku! Are you alright?" It looked like he was in the castle's library dressed in a, robe maybe?
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"I'm glad to hear that." The silence suddenly fell for almost ten seconds between us before he spoke again; I had already let him know about my recent outcome, "So…no luck huh?" I just shook my head. The king sighed as his eyes lowered, saddened. "I'm sorry, Riku."
"Don't be. I'm not going to stop looking." I reassured him.
"I know you won't, but I do know that each time it gets more difficult." Mickey slowly looked around himself before turning back to the gummi-phone's screen, "Donald and Goofy stay busy to keep their minds off of it, but I can tell you that they still haven't lost hope."
"That's great to hear." That brought a slight smile to my face, just getting a reminder that Sora still had a lot of friends that weren't giving up on him.
"Are you at Destiny Islands?"
My smile slowly faded away, "Almost. I'm in the town, but it's just a small boat ride away."
"I see. Well, I heard that Xion and Namine went on a trip with Roxas and the gang, so the two won't be home."
Great. The roommates went out to play and now I would have to deliver the news to her after she's been alone. "Isn't that swell."
Mickey's face got closer to the screen and he put his hand up to whisper, "Goofy was gossiping and said that the trip was a cover to reveal that Namine and Hayner are dating."
I unknowingly rolled my eyes. I'm sure everyone knew about that two years ago, aside from maybe Roxas and Lea. Those two can be a bit dense at times. Though the fact that Mickey was bringing it up, made me question his "in-the-know", but he's probably just trying to make the situation at hand light.
"I'll keep that in mind."
He nodded his head as he relaxed back into his chair and sighed, "Well…keep me updated on what happens and what your next move will be."
"Will do."
Before I could end the call, he stopped me, "Riku?" He gave me a slightly concerned, yet stern look, "Things will work out. You'll see."
I nodded and Mickey returned the gesture before ending the call, causing the gummi-phone's screen to go black. The device went back into my pocket and I looked back out to the ocean, though this time, focusing on the small island that laid ahead several miles away.
—-
Their house was situated on the east side of the island from where the dock was and I figured the sooner I got this over with, the better. It took me about thirty minutes to make it to the island's shore and that's with using the power of my keyblade to row the boat along. The walk to the house that Kairi, Xion and Namine shared would only take ten minutes and I needed to get my thoughts in order. As I walked on, I remembered when the girl first had the idea to move to the island, away from the town. That was two years ago and shortly after they all turned eighteen years old. Technically, Xion and Namine were only eight years old but since they were created at the age Kairi was at the time, then I guess that would make them all the same age. Not to mention that they all decided to have their birthdays on the same day as Kairi's too.
A smirk passed across my face as I remembered that triple eighteenth birthday party. Kairi revealed her plan of moving to the island which made Xion and Namine want to join her so she wouldn't be alone, at least until…
A figure in the distance caused me to stop in my tracks and lose my trail of thought again. They stood at the edge of the shore as it seemed like they were looking out over the sea, as I had been not too long ago.
…until he came home.
It was her.
Before continuing on I coughed a few times to clear my throat. Why? Again I asked myself why did I do this every single time. Get it together Riku. Everyone is counting on you, she is counting on you. But what fruit have I bore since this journey? What kind of keyblade master was I if I couldn't even seem to find my best friend who's been, "god knows where", for five years?!
I closed my eyes to take some deep breaths. It's okay Riku, don't let it get to you, you still have your hope and your faith. Remember what Mickey said. *sigh* That kind of helped me calm down, though upon opening my eyes I saw that she was now turned and faced in my direction. Oh crap, here goes nothing.
"Riku?!" Her voice in the distance, I had to admit, raised my spirits a bit. She had lifted her arm to wave her hand in my direction. It would've been rude not to wave back, so I did.
After another minute or two, I stood a few feet away from the young woman who was now twenty years in age and only grew a couple of more feet in height during these last five years. She also let her hair grow out again, but would always cut it if the length got pass her shoulders…I liked it I guess. As she stood some ways in front of me, it was pulled back into a ponytail as she was dressed in a red summer dress I think? It's kind of dark out and the moonlight doesn't do much justice to colors etched in the night.
I quickly glimpsed down and noticed that she was barefoot, letting the small tides of the ocean wash over her toes. Shoving my hands in my jacket pockets I snickered at her, "Running around with no shoes on again huh?"
She turned away from me and back to the ocean while she cupped her hands behind her back, "That's right. I love to feel the night sea water upon my bare feet. Helps me relax." Does it? Suddenly she turned back to me and leaned over, squinting her ocean blue eyes, "Cut your hair again I see."
Every month that I would go out, my hair would tend to grow out because I didn't care to deal with something so unimportant. At least until I had to come back; sometimes I'd remember to cut it while other times I'd forget. The last few times I did forget, however, Kairi she…offered to cut it for me, if I wanted. I declined at first but later finally gave in.
"Yeah. Thought I'd give you a break this time."
She smiled softly, "It looks nice."
"That's only because an actual professional was behind the clippers."
My little joke caused us both to laugh and for a short while, things felt as they should be, but I knew that they never would…not yet anyway. Our laughter died down as she turned back to the ocean, hands cupped behind her back…the silence between us finally fell; it was time.
"So…how was Nibelheim?"
Be strong Riku. "Kairi…" Have hope. "…Kairi, I'm sorry." My head lowered on its own away from where she stood, "It was a dead end once again." Somehow I could sense that her body tensed up just by the way I said her name. I couldn't mask the disappointed tone in my voice even though I knew it wouldn't help the situation. "I won't give up though, you can be sure of that. I'll get with Mickey tomorrow and let him know what my next move should be and also Master Yen Sid…"
"Stop…"
"Huh?" She had cut me off and I looked at the back of her head.
"Riku…stop." Kairi did a quarter turn to look at me with a saddened smile.
"I-I'm sorry. I don't know why I feel like I have to constantly reassure you when this happens." I had to remind myself that she has grown over the years as well.
She shook her head, "That's not what I was referring to."
"Then, what?"
"I don't need reassurance because I know in my heart that Sora is okay and always will be. He'll be a part of my life no matter what. I just…" She turned back to the ocean, "…don't know if he's ever coming back…"
What did she mean? "You don't believe that."
"It might not be what my heart believes, but my body and mind…"
"What does your body and mind tell you?"
She was silent for a while and I could tell that she was a bit hesitant to respond truthfully, but I knew she would, "To…let go."
I could feel myself getting a bit agitated and confused as I turned my attention away from her, "Where is this all coming from?"
"I've dwelled on it for the past year…"
"So, you're giving up?"
"I didn't say that."
"Sounds like it to me!" My little outburst of emotion caused her body to tense up again; I had to take a deep breath, "Sorry." Another deep breath. "I'm sorry. I just, don't want you to lose the battle against your emotions."
"I won't…"
"Then don't give up. We…you…are his light, the one person that keeps him out of the darkness no matter how deep." I knew that to be true. The two of them had this connection that I could never come close to…even if I tried.
I could feel my emotions starting to rise as I tried to stop the next words from coming out of my mouth, "I shouldn't have let him go alone. I should've been there. The two of you had enough hardships and if there was a price to pay, I would've gladly paid it if it meant that you both would be safe."
The tide splashed against her feet, all the way up to her ankles as she didn't move a muscle, "Do you think that's what he would've wanted?"
I sighed while closing my eyes, "At least you'd be happy right?"
Before I knew it, I felt a sharp stinging pain pass across the left side of my face, causing my head to turn in the opposite direction. My eyes widened as I let them focus on Kairi who was standing directly in front of me, tears in her eyes; she had just slapped me.
"What the hell was that for?!"
"Don't…don't for one second think that if it was you instead of him, that things would be different. The result would be the same." She looked at me with stern eyes while she balled up her fists that rested at her sides.
Did she really believe that? Heh. It didn't matter, I wasn't going to let her lose herself, "Say what you will, but it would've been my decision to make." I turned away from her and looked ahead of me to where the docks were, "But there's no use in talking about the 'what if's' is there? What's done is done and I need to get back to the objective at hand."
"Only to do what? Show up another month from now to tell me it was all a waste of time?"
She was really starting to irritate me, "Do you really think that it is?" I had to turn to look at her, to read her facial expression, "I'm busting my ass off, trying to find our friend and you choose now, after five years, to throw it in my face that it's just a waste of time?"
"Well isn't it?!"
"Kairi! What the hell is wrong with you?!" She held herself. "Don't you want to be reunited with Sora? Don't you have faith that he's still out there waiting for us?!" She wasn't answering me…just standing there. It agitated me more but I should've stopped the next words that were wanting to come out of my mouth; I couldn't, "After what he did to save you…"
Kairi's eyes immediately filled with hurt and anger, "What did you just say?"
Years ago I promised myself that I would never blame her, because she was never the one to blame…Xehanort was. I'd even constantly remind her not to blame herself and tell her that it wasn't her fault…I guess I shot myself in the foot at that moment.
"Nothing."
"So you did blame me after all."
I sighed, "No I didn't, and I still don't. That was just the cause of uncontrolled emotional stress."
"Uncontrolled or not, you know how I feel about being the center of why he perished in the first place!"
"Then why are you acting this way?!"
"Because I miss him!"
"I miss him too!" I threw the words right back at her. We stared each other down waiting for the other to say something else, to lash out, but all Kairi did was hold herself as she backed down first.
I watched her slowly fall to her knees, sitting herself upon the shore's sandy terrain, "It's so hard…"
"I know…"
"I don't want to lose myself…" She lowered her head from me, "…and you shouldn't either."
I could see a tear fall from her face onto her dress. Crouching down to her level, I cupped her chin to lift her head up so she could look at me. "I won't and I'll help to make sure that you won't either." Looking into her hurt eyes for more than five seconds killed me and I couldn't bare it anymore. I stood up again and turned away from her; I had to get him back, for her sake...and for mines. "Just be patient a little while longer."
As I started to walk away, she grabbed a hold of one of my arms, "Riku…I meant what I said earlier…stop." She choked out through her sobs.
I didn't turn to look at her…I couldn't.
"You know I can't do that."
Her grip on my arm tightened, "All you've ever done since then…was searched…worrying, setting your feelings and needs aside…caring about me and my well-being…but you can stop now."
Everything I've done these last five years have been for the both of them, I didn't care about what I needed or wanted. I just knew that they needed to be safe…to be happy.
"Not until I bring him home."
"Please…" She rested her head on the back of my arm while she still had a hold on it, "…I know all this has taken a toll on you too. You push yourself and don't care about what happens to you…Riku, I've already lost Sora…I wouldn't know what to do if I lost you too…"
My heart felt like a bolt of lightning went straight through it at her words. I was a bit taken aback but I guess I never really thought about it. If something did happen to me, one could argue that she'd be all alone, but didn't she have Xion and Namine? They were practically her sisters, so why would it matter? But somehow, I could feel warmth, forming in my heart?
"For once…just stay…okay?" Her voice was as sincere as I ever heard it.
As much as I would've liked to…
"I'm sorry Kairi." I took a few steps away from her as she loosened her grip on me.
"You love me…don't you?"
Those words made my heart skip a beat that time, as I was stopped in my tracks once again. Love her? W-What did she mean by that? Of course I loved her, but what sense of the word was she referring to? All I knew was that I could feel the cheeks upon my face getting warmer and I would love to have blamed it on the previous slap that I was given.
"K-Kairi…" I slowly turned around to face her.
"Why do all that you've done for me?" She raised her head to look at me. "I might've never had much knowledge of the emotion back then, but I'm pretty sure I have a better understanding of the word now."
Did she? I thought she had a pretty good understanding of it when it came to Sora.
"Aqua…she said, when someone loves you, they're willing to put your well-being ahead of their own without hesitation. Even to the point of putting their life on the line. She said, they care for you, making sure you're alright in any situation…good or bad and…" Kairi choked on the tears that started to stream down her face, "…doing so even when they don't expect their love to be returned."
She's wrong.
"Tell me…am I wrong?"
I didn't let any emotion on my face show, I couldn't, and there was no need to start something that would fail in the end. She was wrong, she had to be. I hadn't felt any romantic emotions toward her since I was thirteen and that stopped when I knew how close her and Sora had become, so why…? Ugh, was she just saying things to keep me from leaving?
"I look back and remember all that Sora had done for me. Could that fit the description I'm speaking of? Though neither of us could put a word to the connection we felt…but now…watching you these last five years…seeing what you've been doing, what you've done…that has to be it. If that's true then, one can't possibly leave the person that they love behind especially if that person just might love…"
"Kairi…" I had to cut her off. "…stop…before you say something you'll regret and can't ever take back."
Her face saddened, "Riku…I…"
I turned away from her, "I'm going to head to Disney Castle. I'll update you on where I'll be heading next."
"Riku…"
"Be patient…please."
It was the last thing I said to her before I walked away and headed to the docks. She didn't call out to me and I didn't make an effort to turn around to see her one last time before I would head out to the next world.
{Scene Jump}
*knock knock knock*
Why am I here?
She was wrong, wasn't she?
My heart couldn't belong to anyone…
*knock knock knock*
So why am I here?
I can barely catch my breath…
The door opened…
"Riku?" She stood before me, puffy-eyed as her hair hung down, taken out of the ponytail that it was once in.
Why did I come back?
I looked into her ocean blue eyes, "Why…why couldn't I just…?"
"You…?"
I gently brushed my right hand across her left cheek; she let a fresh tear fall and I could feel the warmth of it. The middle of her dress was slightly stained indicating that she hadn't stopped crying since I left her on the beach almost an hour ago. What was she thinking? What was I thinking?
Suddenly, as if by instinct (maybe) because I couldn't take it anymore, my body moved on its own as my hand positioned itself behind her head while my lips gently collided with her own. It wasn't forced…it wasn't rash and I could almost shed a tear at how the feeling came close to what I dreamed it would be so many years ago…our kiss. Her lips were softer than the island's first morning breeze that used to brush against my skin on the days that I just wanted to be alone. So free, never holding back or giving thought of what the world approved of…I could grasp that same feeling within her as she returned it. She wrapped her arms around my neck causing me to move closer to her. I closed the front door behind me and she stumbled forward, pressing my back up against the door; our lips never departed. My arms wrapped themselves around her waist to pull her closer to me once more and our delicate action formed into one of passion.
She was wrong.
Flashbacks of the three of us when we were kids came to mind; how we used to run around the island and play. I had to pull out of our kiss and release her, not only to catch my breath but…this was wrong, wasn't it?
The sound of her breathing was in the same rhythm as my own as our foreheads rested upon one another's. What was I doing? I wanted to say something, to let her know that we were making a mistake…she took my hands into hers and I felt two tear drops hit the back of them…was she thinking the same thing too? A few words left her lips in a whisper that ached my heart…I couldn't stop it.
Swallowing my doubts, I slowly planted soft kisses upon her neck while I wrapped my arms around her waist again pulling her close to me. Her hands moved to rest upon my shoulders as she started to let out a slight moan of pleasure that added fire to the heat already stirring inside of me. I could feel myself wanting to lose control as I returned my lips back to hers while our weight shifted to where we were slowly moving in her direction, further into the house. Several rooms we'd pass until we finally stopped to catch our breaths after a few more minutes. The room we ended up in was a lot darker than the living room we started out in.
It was Kairi's room.
She was barely visible in the dark while my eyes tried to adjust, but I could feel her grab onto the zipper of my jacket and pull it down. I helped her remove it, revealing the gray t-shirt I had underneath which she slowly lifted above my head, removing it as well.
I never mentioned the injuries I would obtain from each world I would travel to; it just didn't seem like it was worth the time to bring it up because I would usually just use "Curaga". As my eyes finally adjusted and I could see the expression on her face while she looked over my bare chest that had a few wrapped bandages upon it. At first she hesitated but then placed a hand over one of them and looked up at me with eyes that seemed to ask if my wounds were painful. I shook my head in response to reassure her that it wasn't as bad as she would think it to be.
She slowly passed her hand across my chest and lowered her eyes as another tear dropped from her face; in her heart I knew she felt sorry. I placed my hand on top of hers while using my other to cup her chin and lifted her head to look up at me. Once our eyes met again something happened; for the first time, I felt this connection with her that I never knew existed until now…the rest of the control I was hanging onto inside, dissolved.
My lips made their way to hers with twice the passion than the previous times before and she didn't pull back or away from me. We lost ourselves, eyes closed as we fully took in all the emotional feelings that had been kept bottled within us throughout the last few years. Even though we've had many talks about how we felt and what we were thinking, there were times when our sayings of being "okay" never actually meant that. Truth be told, I was upset, scared, sad and a bit disappointed. I hated Sora for leaving us, for leaving her…I hated her for getting herself caught by Xehanort and dying, giving Sora a reason to endanger himself…I hated myself for not doing anything about it at the time and being powerless…but no matter how emotionally damaged I thought myself to be, I knew that I never really hated them…or myself.
Suddenly I felt something brush down over my legs before landing on top of my feet. I knew what it was and it didn't stop me; I positioned one of my hands on Kairi's lower back that was now bare. By the time I knew it, I was gently laying her down onto the queen-sized bed that was in her room. Our kiss was put on pause to breathe once again and I placed her head upon one of the pillows as I hovered over her. She looked up at me and I returned her gaze though not before glancing her over…perfection. I brushed my right hand up her left side and made my way up to her hand that was rested upon the pillow as well. My fingers became intertwined with hers and I lowered my head so my forehead rested upon hers yet again.
I could feel her heartbeat and it was just as fast as mine. Could we be thinking the same thing? Perhaps so…the thoughts going through my mind…they hurt but left as fast as they came before I kissed her again. The words still echoed in my heart.
I'm sorry Sora..
—-
4:00 AM
My eyes opened as I quickly sat myself up. I looked around to only see darkness until my eyes adjusted to look at the walls of the room I was in. Bed sheets rested on the lower half of my body and I ran my fingers through my hair while sighing. I looked over to my left and felt something weighting on my other arm; it was Kairi's hand. She was asleep, facing in my direction right next to where I had been laying. What did we do…?
I slowly got out of the bed and retrieved the pair of jeans that I wore over there. After putting them, along with my shirt, shoes and jacket on, I looked back over at her and sat on the edge of the bed. I leaned over and brushed the hair upon the side of her face, putting it behind her ear which caused her to stir a little in her sleep.
I had to go.
10 Minutes Later
I stood at the edge of the very early morning ocean shore trying to collect my thoughts and the feelings that were stirring inside of me. What happened several hours ago was something unexpected and I'm not sure if I should regret it or not. I shoved my hands in my jacket pockets as the ocean breeze passed over me...it reminded me of her soft kiss. The moon still shined brightly in the sky, though one cloud did make it's way over into the path of it's reflection. I don't know why but it made me look down at the surface of the ocean to find that the light that did shine through almost came out in the shape of a heart…heh, the moonlight's heart.
What would Sora say? He'd probably think it was the island's heart giving us a sign or something hehe…Sora…"Damnit!" I grunted underneath my breath. How could I ever face him again after what happened? If he's still out there…I shook my head to get the thought out of my mind. Of course he was alive, there was no room for doubt. I turned to look back at the house behind me…but Kairi…
"You made it back!" Someone's voice startled me and I quickly turned to see another familiar face I hadn't seen in the last month. The girl chuckled slightly to herself, "It's nice to see you too Riku."
"Na-Namine? What're you doing here?" And up at this god-forsaken hour, I wanted to add.
The girl had her white blonde hair in one braid down her back while she wore some white jean shorts and a baby blue muscle shirt that was underneath a black unzipped jacket. "Well I was hoping to make it back here before you got back so that Kairi wouldn't be alone, but it looks like I'm behind schedule."
I narrowed my eyes at her, "It's four in the morning."
Namine sighed, "Yes I know…truth is, I was ready to get away from all the questioning of my dating Hayner from Roxas and Lea."
"Heh, I guess that would cause anyone to head for the hills."
She giggled, "Yes." Looking over at the house she spoke again, "I'm sure Kairi's already asleep. Are you waiting for the sun to rise to pop your head in Riku?"
My heart…it ached, "I-I uh…" Namine had become really good at reading people and there was no need to let her know something that she'd eventually figure out for herself.
"Are you alright Riku?"
"I…" I lowered my head ashamed, "I can't go back in there…"
"Back in there? Have you spoken to her already?"
I turned my head to the side, "In a way…yeah."
"By the way you're acting…I'm guessing there wasn't any sign of Sora?" The tone in her voice saddened and it just made me feel worse. The only thing I could do was shake my head. In an instant I could feel petite arms wrap around me in a hug and like it was a reflex, I hugged her back. "It'll be okay Riku." We stood there for a moment until I could feel her body tense up and she slowly lifted herself from me. The girl was the same height as Kairi and looked up at me to peer into my eyes, "I felt your heart ache."
"I failed everyone again…"
"No…aside from that." She placed one of her hands upon my chest.
Aside from Mickey, Namine was the second person I would confide in so as to vent and free my mind of the stresses around me. Even though I haven't been around much, we had this bond that drew us together. Not a romantic one, however, because at one point we did end up sharing a kiss that felt weird as hell with a significant lack of chemistry. So we remained just friends. Her powers had grown over the years, evolved rather, but she wouldn't use them because she didn't want the feeling of taking advantage of others. Though I'm sure this time, she won't be able to help it…
"What makes your heart ache so much more than not finding Sora?" Her eyes had been closed for several seconds. "And yet…as it aches, it longs for something, fluttering and sighing in relief." What does she know huh?
In an instant her eyes opened while the hand she had rested on my chest shook a little. Namine slowly turned to look at the house behind us and then back at me…she knew.
"Namine…"
"Riku…" the facial expression she had given wasn't one I was expecting. A soft smile had passed across her lightly pinkish lips as she held her hands to her chest, eyes filling with tears. What was going on?
"You…you and Kairi…"
"I'd rather not talk about it."
"You don't know how long she's kept everything so bottled up. I'm happy to know that she was able to let go and release her emotions…especially with you."
"It was a mistake."
Namine's face suddenly looked confused, "A mistake? Why would you…?"
"You know why."
She lowered her eyes because she indeed did, "But…sometimes fates and destinies cross, change and intertwine…"
"Yeah and they could get corrupted if someone forces their way through."
"Is that what you think happened? Did you force your way into Kairi's bed?"
My face probably turned several shades of red, "No! No…I would never…"
Namine folded her arms across her chest, "Tell me, how did it feel to be with her?" I didn't respond…I didn't want to. "You called it a mistake. Kicking someone in your sleep is a mistake. Getting a food order wrong is a mistake. Accidentally casting thundara on an ally is a mistake. But what you did…what you both did…making love…there's no mistake in that." Namine looked at me pleadingly, wanting to put some reassurance in me, "So tell me…how did it really make you feel?"
"I'm not having this conversation with you." There was no way, or at least that's what I thought until I tried to walk pass her and she grabbed my arm pulling me back.
"Riku, this is me, you're talking to. You don't have to keep it all bottled in."
I couldn't help but look into her sincere eyes. Shortly after, I gave in but decided to look away from her and to the ocean. *sigh* "I-I don't know." I ran my fingers through my hair, "It…it felt like that feeling you get when you first plunge yourself into the ocean, taking in it's body and aura within yourself. Being engulfed in it's power that you know could give you life and just as easily, take it away." My heart was getting heavy. "Drowning, like I was gasping for air but yet refusing any oxygen that might come my way for fear of the loss of the adrenaline. Then becoming one I…" It's like the feeling from that moment was rushing back into me, "…it felt like I died. Thrown back into the darkness…but somehow emerged, embedded in unexplained light…" I felt a tear stream down the side of my face, "…life had been brought back into my lungs that I didn't even know was missing. Happiness a-and bliss, I just…" I shook my head.
That was it…that's all I could put into words.
Namine grabbed my hand and held it as we stood in silence for a short while.
"So why let it weigh on you so much? It's not wrong to love."
"She's not mine to love."
"Riku…"
"I'm going to get Sora back and make Kairi happy."
"What makes you think she's not already happy?" I didn't really have anything to say. "I'm sure she told you didn't she?"
Suddenly those words Kairi whispered to me earlier came to mind, "I-I don't know what you're talking about."
"Yes you do!"
"Namine, just stop it ok."
"I'm just trying to help you see the obvious but you're acting like a stubborn jackass."
Jackass? Namine never used to use such language. I'll get on Hayner about that later.
"You want to help me? Do it some other way."
"Oh?" She folded her arms again, "And what would that be?"
"Erase them."
Namine became stunned, "W-What?"
"Our memories. Erase them, both Kairi and mines."
"How could you ask me to do that?!" She became furious. "You know after what I did to Sora, Donald and Goofy that I vowed never to erase anyone's memories ever again."
I knew this, but at that moment, I didn't care, I needed to rid myself of the sin I made against my friend even though I wished it to remain with me forever. "Yes, but you also owe me a debt that you promised to fulfill no matter what."
Her face suddenly saddened and I could tell that she remembered what I was referring to. She balled up her fists that rested at her sides, "But…this is just too cruel Riku…Kairi's my sister and you're one of my dearest friends. Taking away that, what did you call it? Bliss…that happiness from the both of you would just…"
"It's for the best Namine." I walked up to her and grabbed both her wrists to lift the palm of her hands up so that each rested on the sides of my head.
"What, right now?!"
"I have to go to Disney Castle to rendezvous with Mickey so that I can plan my next search for Sora. It has to be done now. There can't be any room for distraction."
"I…"
"It's okay, only the last ten hours of the day needs to be erased…not years."
"Riku…I-I can't…" Namine turned her head away from me.
"Please…" I had turned her to look back at me so I could look her in the eyes; she could tell that I wasn't going to change my mind, "…Namine, please."
After a while she couldn't help but sigh and then nodded at me. She closed her eyes and I followed suit. It would all be fine soon, Kairi and I won't remember the night we shared together and we can continue our normal lives. What were those normal lives? Hopping worlds constantly to find a friend that might not be alive anymore? But I wasn't going to give up. Even it at times I wanted to, I wouldn't…for her and our friends.
I could feel myself getting light-headed, Namine must've started. Was this what I really wanted? The one time in my life that I felt some kind of happiness these last five years even though it came with guilt…should I just rid myself of it? Yes. It was for the best; she can't see it now but she will in due time. Sora will be back and I will bring him home.
The memory started to fade away and I had to admit it, it took all I had not to shed a tear as the final remnant of it lingered. It was what Kairi whispered to me before we ended up in her room…words that I never thought I'd hear, especially coming from her to me.
"Riku?" I could barely hear Namine call out to me.
"Riku…I love you…"
Darkness fell.
{Scene Jump}
"Riku?!"
A voice called out to me and I quickly looked up to see a familiar face that I hadn't seen in the last month, "N-Namine?" I looked around me and noticed that I was sitting on the shore of the beach but Kairi wasn't nowhere to be found. I could've sworn I just told her that I didn't have any luck in finding the whereabouts of Sora.
"Did you…have you been here long? I thought Mickey said you were on an outing with everyone?"
'I-I was but uh…I came back early and…" Her voice cracked and the tone of it seemed a bit saddened.
"Namine? Is everything alright?"
"Yes!" Her response was very quick as she chuckled nervously to herself, "I just found you here…just a-asleep."
Asleep? When did I fall asleep? The last thing I remembered was telling Kairi that I failed yet again and she told me to…to? Stop? I shook my head as I brought my knees up a little to rest my arms upon them. My head was clouded and I couldn't recall the last time I felt like this…when was the last time that I let myself become unguarded to just up and fall aslee…I suddenly turned to Namine who had a few tears that streamed down her face.
"Namine…" I didn't have to say anything further as I let the silence between us fall…I knew what happened and I could only imagine how Namine might've felt. I ran my fingers through my hair before getting up on my feet and dusting the sand off my jeans. Her head was lowered as she held herself and turned away from me to face the ocean. I did the same.
"Did it have to be done?"
"You…insisted." She was hurt.
"But did you feel like it was necessary?"
"No…but it wasn't up to me and it doesn't matter now. My debt to you is repaid."
I never planned on having Namine repay me on anything, but it seemed like I cashed in on that favor, even though she opposed. It must've been something that I needed to rid myself of…even if it meant putting a slight strain on our friendship.
What was done was done and I knew I needed to continue on with the objective at hand. I put my hands in my jacket pockets and turned away from her, "I guess I'll be on my way then." She didn't say anything more and I couldn't help feeling like I was the bad guy, though maybe I was. I could only do one thing, "I'm sorry…Namine."
After I took my first step in the opposite direction, she said one more thing to me, "I'll take care of Kairi…Riku, just…come back."
I nodded my head. Always.
8 Months Later
Kairi's POV
The setting of the sun was so beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes. God I've been so much more emotional lately and I couldn't stand it. Though…I guess I could say I had a reason as to why I was being this way. Today made the 8th month from the last time Riku came by to speak to me regarding his time in Nibelheim. When he didn't show up a week after his usual time span, I just figured he was upset with me because I told him to stop. However, when the second month came around I started to have doubts…to fear the worst. I got sick. Xion and Namine worried over me to no end and everyone tried to contact Riku on his gummi phone but the line was disconnected.
My sickness started to get worse.
I couldn't eat, my body would barely move and I was so tired. I couldn't help but sleep the majority of the time. Xion suggested I go to see a doctor and Namine offered to take me. I went without hesitation because I felt like my body and heart were breaking down with no way back. At least that's what I thought until the doctor diagnosed me.
"Kairi! Dinner is ready!" Xion shouted from the front door of the house, breaking my thoughts.
I quarter turned to shout back to her "okay" and she told me I should put a jacket on before I upset Sora. Chuckling to myself I shivered a little as a sea-breeze passed over me.
"I'm sorry."
The trip back home after visiting the doctor was the most uncomfortable and confusing one I ever had. When Namine and I had gotten home, Xion was sunbathing on the beach but then jumped up to see how the appointment went. I couldn't speak…I just…cried. The expression on Namine's face was a broken one and she asked for all of us to step into the house to discuss something. That was the longest couple of hours of my life and I could barely make sense of any of it…though at the same time my heart knew it to be true. Then she did it. Namine she, undid what she had done a couple of months ago and everything came rushing back to me.
The tears wouldn't stop. My heart felt heavy while fluttering though broken and unsure of the events. I wasn't upset with Namine but I was with him…with Riku. How dare he do this to me, I thought at the time, and to himself?! What the hell was wrong with him?! I had to admit that I was angry and sad at the same time for a while, but it wouldn't change the fact of the situation I was in.
Months went by and my symptoms slowly changed while others faded away. My anger towards him didn't last long and I missed him terribly…why hadn't he returned? Why hadn't he come back to me? I figured he wouldn't really have a reason to if he didn't remember…Namine would reassure me though, she was the one who spoke with him last and told me that even when his memories were gone, she could see what was in his heart.
"Kairi?!" Xion called out again through my thoughts.
"Coming!" I guess it was time for me to stop reminiscing and start thinking about what my next move would be. I placed my hands upon my stomach that had expanded about seven inches outward over the past four months and sighed, "I guess it's time to eat Sora or your aunties will start hounding me again." I chuckled lightly to myself as I looked out back at the sunset and could see both of their faces in it's light.
Tears streamed down my cheeks, falling upon my pink long-sleeved sweater dress and the braid I put my hair in that was draped four inches over my shoulder.
"Riku…Sora…"
I missed them both so much and I kept in mind what Riku told me, about not giving up or losing myself to my emotions. I made a promise to myself, for him, that I wouldn't, but I also wouldn't stay trapped in the past…I couldn't…not anymore.
I turned towards the house and wiped the tears from my eyes as I looked down at my stomach. Rubbing my hands across it I remembered what I thought when I found out that I was having a girl; Riku's face and his reaction. I could only imagine what he would've thought at that moment and it made me smile, but I knew no matter what I was having, what both of us would want to name him or her.
"It'll be ok Sora. We'll never give up and so long as our lights shine, those who mean the world to us will always find their way home." I softly smiled to myself before walking on and into the house where my sisters waited for me.
I'll bring them home.
—-
A/N: Alight! That's the end of this One-Shot fan fiction and I am open to any thoughts and critiques all might have. I really didn't plan on it being this long because I didn't want too much telling of a story that won't be expanded. However while writing this I started to get ideas on a full blown fanfic that takes place several years later and also making this an alternate reality to one where Sora is actually found. But I'm not too sure because I would like to see what SquareEnix has in store for the next KH game. Again I apologize for any Sora/Kairi fans but hey, it says it in the description. I actually kind of enjoyed writing this, I felt like it was a different more adult take on the reality of Sora being gone you know. I wanted to present a little growth in the characters that were portrayed in here and I'm sorry if a lot was missed and unsaid but it's a one-shot so I'll leave it be. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy the other stories that I have to offer ^_^.