(camera rolls: the Weiss and Schwarz boys are sitting in a theater. Aya and Crawford are looking at the camera and glowering, Omi and Nagi are feeding each other popcorn ^.^, Schu is dozing off with Yohji snoozing on his shoulder, drooling, Ken is reading 16 magazine and Farfello is sticking popcorn kernels up Schu's nose)
Crawford: Hello, and welcome to Weiss and Schwarz movie reviews, where we tell you which movies are pure crap so you don't go see them and if you do, we'll kill you and burn your bodies. *smiles pleasantly* But let's introduce our critics. First off is me, Brad Crawford. I am a young, sexy entrepreneur with the best taste of all these freaks of nature. *a random shoe hits his head* HEY!
Nagi: *looks around, whistling*
Aya: I am Aya. I hate you all.
Omi: …that's it?
Aya: …
Omi: Well, I'm Omi! I enjoy candlelit dinners, long walks on the beac-
Crawford: Next off is Schuldig. ….Schu? *turns around to see Schu snoring with tons of popcorn kernels crammed in his nostrils* WAKE UP!
Schu: *jolts up* What? What?! –hey, I can't breathe! *runs around screaming*
Farfello: *giggles*
Crawford: *hand to head*
Yohji: *waking up* I heard screaming! This is a job for…Yohji-man!
Omi: *smacks him upside his head*
Yohji: Ow!
Omi: This is Yohji, the man-whore.
Yohji: *grins* At your service…
Nagi: I'm Naoe Nagi, the most sane of all of these people, so please regard my opinions over theirs, or you'll regret it…
Schu: *sits down, nose bleeding and grins* I'm Schu, your resident sexy bitch!
Aya: *nods at Ken* This is Ken…that's all we're going to say about him.
Ken: Eh?!
Crawford: *gestures toward Farfello* This is Farfello…just pretend he isn't here.
Farfello: *pouts*
Nagi: So, the first list on the agenda is…*reads off paper* …"Barney's Great Adventure" …what the hell?
Crawford: We're reviewing *that*?
Nagi: It's what the paper says.
Crawford: Fine. It's the stupidest piece of crap ever released. The end.
Aya: …
Schu: Barney scares the fuck outta me, seriously!
Farfello: Barney's a sociopath.
Ken: The little kids in the movie were pretty hot.
Everyone else: …
Ken: I mean, I didn't like it!
~*~
Nagi: …we are moving on. Next movie: "Labyrinth"
Schu: Kicked ass! David Bowie looked really hot in those pants…and the little goblins were cool! I wanna take one home with me!
Crawford: Schu, have you been in my medicine cabinet, again?
Schu: Um, no…
Omi: I liked the music! "Dance, magic dance!"
Nagi: *sweatdrop*
Yohji: This movie just traumatized me…
Farfello: The Goblin King reminded me of myself-
Crawford and Aya: Lame.
Schu, Omi and Farfie: *hit them*
Aya: …
Crawford: *glasses are knocked off* ACK, I'VE GONE BLIND!
Nagi: Does anyone care what I think about it?
Everyone else except Omi: No.
~*~
Nagi: *grimaces* Next movie …"A Clockwork Orange".
Aya: …
Crawford: Very interesting…Stanley Kubrick's genius shines through in this groundbreaking film centered around the idea of-
Farfello: There was a lot of god-hurting!
Schu: And violence!
Ken: *sad face* There were no kids…
Omi: I liked it! Alex was cute…
Nagi: I never got to see it…Schu wouldn't let me watch it with him.
Schu: *pats Nagi on the head* It wasn't appropriate for you…
Nagi: What the hell are you talking about? I'm a freaking assassin. And you let me watch 'Like A Horse', how is *that* appropriate?
Schu: Nagi, porn is a different matter completely! A growing boy needs his smut!
~*~
Nagi: *shudders* Alright, next: "Titanic".
Schu: Sucked.
Yohji: Wait, that one girl was naked! …but other than that, sucked.
Crawford: Waaaaaay too overdone.
Farfello: It made me cry…
Schu: *bursts out into laughter* You-cried-during-*Titanic*?! Ha ha, Farfie's in love with Leonardo DiCaprio!
Farfello: Shut up, I am not!
Schu: Can you explain that pin-up in your room then?
Farfello: ..it was a present…from Ken.
Ken: *sighs* Leonardo is so dreamy…
~*~
Nagi: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
Yohji: Whoo-hoo! I need to pay a visit to the Castle Anthrax…
Aya: …
Ken: There were no little boys in it…
Schu: We are the knights who say ni!
Farfello: *Kids in the Hall style**grins* I liked it…
Crawford: It was utterly pointless.
Nagi: Well, I liked i-
Everyone else except Omi: We don't care.
Nagi: *glares*
~*~
Nagi: "E.T., the Extra Terrestrial".
Aya: *whimpers*
Crawford: Um, what's wrong with him?
Yohji: Oh, he just has some E.T. trauma…
Aya: His fingers! His fingers are scary! *cries*
Ken: I liked Elliot. *grins*
Omi: *hand to head*
Schu: That movie was lame. I would have rather subjected myself to Farfello singing 'Bootylicious'…
Farfello: Hey, I sing good!
Schu: Riiiiight…
Farfello: It's better than you trying to sing 'Shake Ya Ass'!
Schu: *twitches* That was low…
Nagi: This movie scarred me for life. I don't think I'll ever recover.
Aya: HIS *FINGERS*! THE NIGHTMARES WON'T STOP!
~*~
Well, uh, I'll probably have more movie reviews up soon…if anybody has any requests, just let me know! Ja! ^_^