Am I afraid?
Quiet frankly, there are no words to express my level of fear at this moment.
This is the most lonely and cold moment of my life.
I have nobody.
Looking around, I noticed a breeze blowing below me. On the shore of the beach, there were children playing in the sand, and jumping in the icy waters. The shrieks of girls as they jumped up and down into the waves.
If he was here, this would be a very enjoyable sight. We used to come here all the time, and sit here. All day, just watching people.
I felt jealous of them. I used to be that happy. I used to laugh and smile all the time; no one could be upset around me.
They looked so carefree, so innocent.
I almost hoped something terrible would come upon them. A life changing tragedy.
All of them, and their stupid happy families.
Things I have no felt in months… years, it seemed. It feels like it's been so long, when realistically, it has only been sixteen days.
Sixteen days since my life went crashing down, right before my very eyes.
--
"Thanks for dinner, Rox," Axel said, kissing me softly before he closed to door behind him. I stood there, staring at it. I wanted to fling it opened and run out after him, and make him stay here. Something wasn't right; there was an eerie feeling in the air. I lay in my bed, for a good couple hours. Little did I know what was happening, as I laid here I had absolutely no idea. ~ Suddenly, I woke up. I didn't remember falling asleep… I decided to answer it anyways. "Hello?" I said, announcing I had answered. My body froze. The tone in this lady's voice seemed so… distressed. "Yes, it is," My stomach turned. "Well, we recently had your friend, Axel, admitted into our clinic. He was in a motorcycle accident… I'm sorry, but… he has passed away," ---
But ignoring my gut, I turned around, slowly walking to my bedroom.
My phone was ringing. I rubbed my eyes, picking it up. It wasn't a number I knew…
"Hello, yes, is this Roxas Hikari?.."
--- I couldn't believe it; I would not believe that Axel, the man I looked up to and loved… is dead. I got to the hospital, frantically running through the doors. I sprinted towards the first nurse I came across, yelling at her. "WHERE IS AXEL?? WHERE IS HE?!! I NEED TO SEE HIM!!" Luckily, it was a small hospital. People didn't die here often, so she knew who I was talking about. She pulled me by the arm, leading me to the Emergency Room. I shoved through them, getting closer to the bed where he lay. Pale. Even through all the blood and bruising, I could see him. My Axel. ---
It was all a blur, I hung up the phone… rushing as quickly as I could to see him.
It wasn't until after I tried to talk, I realized that my words were hardly even audible.
As soon as I realized where we were going, I pulled away from her and started running towards the desk. It wasn't hard at all to tell where he was; the room with all the doctors in it. I could hear quiet sobs coming from a few nurses.
There he was.
So cold looking.
I fell to the floor, realizing this was truly happening. This was not nightmare I could wake up from.
I was a good 150 feet higher than everyone on the beach.
I looked at the sky.
I knew Axel was up there, watching.
Disapproving.
I had promised him I wouldn't do this; no matter what happened.
But this was never a thing we had theoretically talked about.
Death.
I wanted to be with him. Just like he promised me, that he would be with me forever.
I knew I should have kept him there at my house… But he is so stubborn.
I almost laughed, remembering things. But at the same time, my heart ached for him.
He completed me.
I took a deep breath, walking closer to the edge of the cliff.
The ocean was churning violently below me.
I closed my eyes…
1…
2…
3!
I jumped from the cliff, plummeting down, and down, and down…
The fall seemed like it was lasting forever, like I would never break the surface of the water.
Finally, gasped at the cold water saturated my body. Unlike the other times, I did not struggle to get back to the surface; I simply floated down, my lungs aching for air.
This was not nearly as painful as I had imagined. Sure, I was suffocating, but I kept the thoughts of Axel in my mind.
Instinctively, I began choking, coughing in water. Things around me blackened, my thoughts became confusing and unable to decipher.
This was death.
~end
yeah, this was a free write I did while I was bored. I'm feeling rather down lately, so this is almost a little personal.
thanks for reading, and review please x3