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Disclaimer: I do not own any recognizable characters from the Fosters.

Connor's POV:

One more day. That's all the doctors said they are keeping me. I don't know whether to be excited or terrified. Little bit of both I think. Things are starting to look up for me though.

I came out to dad. I came out to Daria. I broke up with Daria. I came out to Jude. I started dating Jude. All in the space of about thirty hours.

I'm surprised I don't have whiplash.

I lay in bed now, staring dazedly off into space, when Jude's face flashes through my mind, bringing a smile to my face. I asked him to be my boyfriend yesterday when he visited.

*Flashback*

"I can't believe my dad actually let you in." I said to Jude, whose head rested happily against my shoulder.

Jude chuckled. It was a dry, humorless laugh that I had never heard him use before.

"Thank Lena. She's the one who talked him into it." Jude said, sitting up. An undertone of scathing dislike painted his features as he glared at the door to the room, beyond which stood my dad.

"What did she say?" I asked curiously.

"She said something about how while he could keep me away, how was he gonna keep all the other boys away as well." Jude said, a note of satisfaction lacing his tone.

"Bet that nearly gave him a heart attack."

Jude snorted.

"You kidding? He looked like he was about to cry."

Now it was my turn to snort. I turned to him, staring into his eyes. I smiled softly, allowing myself to get lost in the chocolate orbs. I raised a hand a stroked his cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Jude." I said to him. He looked at me funny.

"Why are you sorry? You've got nothing to be sorry for…" He says.

"But I do!" I speak up, cutting him off, "Ever since the kiss in the tent I've treated you like shit! I've played with your feelings with all my mixed feelings! I kissed Daria in front of you, when I knew it was hurting both of us! I tried to keep our friendship a secret from my dad, when I should've stood up to him! I've been a shitty friend! I was so confused about these feelings I have. Feelings I've been raised to believe were wrong or unnatural. When I started having them for my best friend, I freaked! Then Daria came in and everything just got so out of hand!"

"CONNOR." Jude said, raising his voice for the first time. "It's okay. I get the confusion. I get the trying to force the feelings away! I get you being afraid of your dad. I get how you were afraid to tell him the truth! I get how you were scared of being different. I used to be too!"

"Are you kidding me? You're never scared of anything! You're the strongest person I know!" I shot back.

"I woke up this morning, and made the decision to come up here. I was terrified! I put on my nail polish, and walked here. On the way here I stopped being scared and started getting angry. And I walked up to your father, and I told him I wanted to see you and I wasn't leaving until I did. He said no, so I sat down next to the door and told him I could wait all day. That's when he called Lena, and made his last mistake."

I stared into his eyes as he spoke, realizing in the back of my mind that we had both started crying.

"I wasn't going to give up my best friend without a fight!" Jude growled, his voice breaking as he finished the sentence.

I grabbed him by the front of the shirt and yanked him into a kiss. He returned it. Hard.

Twenty seconds later we pulled apart, panting from loss of breath.

"That was…" Jude cut me off with a kiss of his own. I stared at him in awe. All the times we had kissed before, I had initiated it. This was the first time he had started it. He pulled away. We stared into each other's eyes again.

"What does this make us?" Jude asked me.

"We could… Try dating each other? If you want?" I asked hopefully. He smiled.

"I'd like that." He said, wrapping me in a hug. He snuggled into my side and our attention returned to the television.

"What are we going to tell people?" Jude asked.

"That you're my boyfriend." I told him. He looked up at me, "I promise I'll never try to hide you again. You mean the world to me, and you deserve to be gloated about."

We sat in silence until he had to leave before he parted, I planted a kiss right on his lips. I took spiteful pleasure in knowing my dad saw it happen.

*End Flashback*

I was snapped out of my memories by loud noises coming from the hallway. The door flew open and Jude ran in.

It only took my a fraction of a second to notice he was sobbing. He launched himself into the bed and clung to me like a fly stuck in flypaper. My eyes rose up to meet my dad who was standing at the door. I felt a spike of fury.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM NOW!?"

My dad shook his head vigorously, slightly taken aback at my anger.

"I didn't say anything! He showed up like this!"

"Jude what's wrong? What happened?" I begged him to answer me.

"T-there w-w-was an accident." He sobbed and hiccoughed, "J-jesus is d-d-DEAD!"

He broke down completely as he clung to me.

Jesus?

Dead?

Those two words just didn't make sense spoken aloud together.

I wrapped my arms around him, as his sobs racked his body violently. I could feel my heart breaking, and I started crying with him.

If Jude had to feel this pain, then I would feel it too. If he had to feel this grief, I would share it.

Our pain is shared. It always will be.

Always.