Koneko x Issei: The Legend of The Dildo
Chapter 1: "It's gone!"
It all started when our cliché, protagonistic figure, Koneko Toujou, woke up in a disease-infested jungle. It was the sixth time it had happened. Feeling scarcely concerned, Koneko attacked a fallen angel, thinking it would make her feel better (but as usual, it did not). Unaware of the bleakness of existence, she realized that her beloved (and very large) dildo was missing! Immediately she called her overly elitist, rich, perverted boyfriend, Issei Hyoudou. Koneko had known Issei for (plus/minus) one billion years, the majority of which were funny ones. Issei was very unique. He was very generous though sometimes a little... perverted. Koneko called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.
Issei picked up to a very angry Koneko. Issei calmly assured her that most 3-legged wallabies belch before mating, yet venomous koalas usually exotically sneeze after mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Koneko. Why was Issei trying to distract Koneko? Because he had snuck out from Koneko's house with the dildo only six days prior. It was a curiously big dildo... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before Koneko got back to the subject at hand: her dildo. Issei grimaced. Relunctantly, Issei invited her over, assuring her they'd find the dildo. Koneko grabbed her backpack and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Issei realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the dildo and he had to do it quick. He figured that if Koneko took the car, it would take at least three minutes before Koneko would get there. But if she took the Quadcopter? Then Issei would be totally screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Issei was interrupted by six slimey slimes that were lured by Koneko's dildo. Issei sneezed; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling worried, he aptly reached for his dull pencil and aimlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent. The discouraged slimes began to scurry back toward the bush, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Quadcopter rolling up. It was Koneko.