Lexa swallowed her own saliva, slowly at first, to realize that her heart was bursting into her chest.
"Let us alone." she said cold to her guards.
"Yes,Heda." they walked away quickly.
The commander kept her gaze low while the blonde entered without making a sound.
"So we meet again,Clarke." At that moment her eyes raised in search of those blue ones. Her tone was devoid of emotions. She hoped her eyes were too. Her heart lost a beat when their eyes met.
Clarke tried to avoid it. No success.
"Lexa..." her voice trembled.
"Are your people safe?"
"Yes, all of them."
"About the mountain?"
"They are all dead." the tears began to pinch her eyes. The contact was still alive.
"Good. Blood has had blood."
"Not thanks to you."
Lexa nodded.
"And what about you?" she paused. "Why are you here?" she was playing with her knife as during their first meeting.
"I'm here for..." she took one step forward "to kill you."
Heda stood up slowly turning towards her. The knife was still in her hand.
"Take it." she offered the dagger.
"Why did Costia love you?" she asked taking the dagger.
Lexa's heart stopped for a minute. She didn't expect that question. She took a breath and closed her eyes.
"We are what we are Clarke."
"Yes. You already said it to me."
"And we love who we love." she said safe.
"That's not an answer."
"Yes, it is."
"Did you love her?"
Clarke didn't know why she was asking her. She needed to know. She had to be sure of the choice that she was taking. Her hands were soiled with too much blood. Innocent blood. But Lexa's was not innocent.
The commander nodded. She couldn't say anything. Her eyes became sweet.
"Why did you betray me?" She seemed almost beg for it.
"I had to take my people safe at home." She said cold.
"That's not enough."
Lexa bowed the head.
"Tell me about Costia."
"Clarke... I can't. I had promise to myself that I would have never spoken again about her."
"Why?"
"Because love is weakness." she whispered.
"I don't care if love is weakness! I need to know that you have a heart!" she screamed in despair.
"I don't have a heart, just kill me."
Clarke approched her, pointing the knife on her chest.
A trickle of blood came out of the flesh, but Lexa didn't seem to be hurt.
"I love you."
"I love you too." she whispered on her lips before kissing her again and again.
Make love with Costia was the most important thing for her. She never felt that way. Lexa thought that their love would last forever. But she was wrong. She was so damn wrong.
"So you are the second of the commander now." Costia smiled kissing her nose.
"Yes, you must be so proud of me!"
"I am, really, but.." her eyes became sad. "what if you had no more time for me?"
Lexa smiled. "It's not possible. You know that you always came first." She looked into her blue eyes, caressing the long and red hair. "One day I will be a great commander, and you will be by my side. I'll win wars, and make alliances and when the night comes there won't be pain and suffering. There will be my world" she paused "you."
Costia cried, touching her warm cheeks, slowly kissing her lips as if that was the only thing that she was born for.
"And I will be here for you." she whispered between a kiss and another.
"I know." she said, resting the head on her naked breast.
"I'm sorry, Clarke." she said softly next to her ear. "I've never wanted to.."
The words died in her throat. The knife fell to the floor causing a metallic noise.
Lexa was shocked when the arms of the blonde one clung to her armor. She didn't know what to do. How she felt in that moment.
Clarke's body slid slowly on her, placing her knees on the ground and continuing to hold her. Stronger than before.
The heart of the commander stopped to beat for a long while. She hadn't been feeling good for years.
Her eyes filled with tears, and just when one came out, she held her back.
Clarke basked in that touch so hard and then rested the forehead in the crook of her neck.
"Do you love me?" those words came out as a strangled whisper. Her voice was trembling and Lexa's heart went up in the throat.
She took a deeply breath before to speak. "If I let me love you, I could die. And I never wanted to die so much as this moment."
"That's it! That's the girl!" a man of ice nation screamed pointing at the girl with red hair.
Lexa jerked awake, seeing her love carried away from her arms by the guards.
"What's happening?" she immediately put on the armor.
"Your girl tried to kill the queen of Ice nation. Stupid child." Indra said contemptuously.
"No! That's not possible! I would know it! Let her go!" she shouted, drawing her sword.
"Lexa!" Costia screamed, tears streamed down her face.
The second in command tried to attack them, but Indra stopped her with a blow to the neck.
Lexa fell on the ground.
"I have to save her! I love her!"
"You can't. We are still trying to make an alliance and if your girlfriend wasn't so stupid, she would live. That's the price she has to pay."
"And what about me? Eh?" tears were still in her green eyes. She felt like dying.
"You will become a strong commander, Lexa. That's your destiny. Not love."
"Love is weakness." she whispered those words that her mom always said to her.
The tears finally stopped flowing. Her eyes grew cold as ice. Her heart stopped beating, becoming stone. She would never be the same. She promised to herself she would never be weak.
"So please give me a reason not to do it. Hate me! Clarke,please.." she begged her.
Clarke broke away from that contact.
Her blue eyes reflected in Lexa's green ones.
"Of course I hate you! I fucking hate you! but I hate myself more because I still need you! I've always needed you. For the alliance,for the war... and for me. You are the one who can understand how I feel all the time." she said with a little bit of anger.
Lexa smiled, gently stroking her face. She brushed away a tear with her thumb.
"Forgive me.." she whispered on her lips.
Clarke needed a real contact. She needed to feel something again. She wanted to feel something again.
She shook vigorously the cheeks of the other, brushed slowly Lexa's lips with a finger, feeling her breath on it.
The commander closed her eyes with strength, almost as if she didn't want to stop dreaming, and her heart went on fire when Clarke's mouth pressed on hers.
The world stopped. Their hearts too.
"I forgive you." she whispered.
"You have done much more than this…you saved me." she admitted.
"I need you to save me too."
"How?" she asked confused.
"Holding me, again. I need to hear that I have made the right choice."
"You have made the right choice, that's all my fault."
"Yes. It is. I don't know if I can trust you again."
"I know, but that does not make me stop caring about you. Or holding you."
Clarke smiled. "Your war paints are gone." she stared at her face.
"My life just came back." she nodded safe, holding her body a little stronger.
Slayer's corner: this is my first story published here. I hope you all like it. I have to say a big big thank you to my amazing beta and friend Lucia. That's all. Kisses!