Author's Note: After watching "Quagmire's Dad" and "Jerome is the New Black", I think it's time Brian got some physical payback on Quagmire. This little story is amidst the fight ensued during "Quagmire's Dad". It's time Brian got some personal redemption, and it should be solved with brute force. Reviews will be greatly appreciated, since this is my very first fanfiction. Let's jump into it, shall we?
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Glenn Quagmire was enraged from the horrible news. His father has slept with possibly the person he has hated the most in Quahog, Brian Griffin. During his fits of rage, Brian was in the shower, washing himself with a scrub. Paranoia has obsessed him, all he could think about is what Quagmire would do to him. Washing himself in a quick pace, he stopped the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He quickly went to the mirror to check himself for a minute. He was breathing heavily, paranoia read all over his face, shivering badly. The next seconds happened fast.
"WHERE IS HE?! WHERE IS THAT SELF-CENTERED, ARROGANT SON OF A BITCH?!"
Brian quickly recognized that voice. His demise was nearing with every step. With no time to lose, he quickly hid himself under Peter and Lois bed. Only one simple mistake however cost him a near-death situation. His legs were sticking out.
"GET OUT OF THERE YOU DIRTY LITTLE BASTARD, YOU'RE DEAD!" Yelled Quagmire, as he pulled Brian, who was hiding under the bed. After that, the memories were just a blur. Quagmire achieved a headstart, kicking and punching Brian in the face numerous times. He threw him in the hall. They quickly fell down the stairs after a series of violent punches and kicks. Brian saw hope after. A chance to escape. He quickly went to the door, the small entrance where he enters as a dog. However, he was too late. Quagmire grabbed him by his legs, and with all his strength, he sent him flying to the kitchen.
However, Quagmire did not expect what was going to happen after that particular moment.
Brian was badly injured, black eye, mouth full of blood. But something, from somewhere, gave him courage and strength. I can do this Brian said to himself, and with that, a miracle happens.
Brian stands up, head high, acting like there was no beating ever. He jumped on Quagmire and punched him stone hard in the jaw. Quagmire grunted in pain and spit out a tooth. He dashed over to Brian, who quickly evaded. He hit his head with blunt force, which left a bad bruise on the top of his head. Quagmire's eyes were fully enraged at the moment, and he wanted to blow the dog's brains out with a shotgun. Oh no, the fight was far from over.
Ideas were racing through Glenn's mind. How can the dog counter-attack me?! I should at least get a payback for this! Glenn thought. All of a sudden, he saw the phone by the door, which might be his problem-solver after all.
Reaching to the phone, and pulling it off the string, he proceeded to bash Brian on the head with it a few times. But, the dog countered, and as a response, took the phone off his clenched fist, and proceeded to do the same. However, the bashing was more critical and painful than the one he received. Quagmire fell on the floor, spitting out a tooth here and there, gasping for breath. He managed to prone over the left window of the Griffin's residence.
Brian was thinking how he should end the fight in the most brutal way possible, to teach him a lesson he will never forget. Suddenly, a clever idea came to his mind, which Quagmire would receive as a warning to never mess with him again.
He grabbed a chair from the kitchen. Quagmire was berating him, and yelling obscenities at him at the moment.
"YOU DIRTY LITTLE FUCK! I WILL PERSONALLY MURDER YOU! GET BACK HERE AND FIGHT ME!" Were most of Quagmire's rage-filled insults and threats. His voice cracked at some points due to the loss of strength. Brian, however, ignored him completely.
He brought the chair back to where Quagmire was lying near the window. He was still conscious, which was the most important part of the sequence. Brian proceeded to grab him on the back of his neck. He stood up on the chair, mighty by his accomplishments so far. He then hit Glenn's face numerous times on the cold glass. After a series of hits, he pulled him back, and with all his strength, bashed Glenn's face through the window. The glass broke, sending pieces flying on the horizon of its breaking point. Some pieces were stabbed into Quagmire's face, which was extremely painful, to say the least.
Quagmire's condition was very bad however. His whole face had glass stabbed all over it. His jaw must have been cracked a little due to the punch Brian lent him earlier. He had a black eye, numerous teeth missing. Blunt force on the head. Chest filled with bruises (who might be infectious). Left leg painfully broken.
"You see that, you hypocritical jerkwad? THIS is my personal revenge, for all the poorly-explained insults that you threw at me in that restaurant!" Brian yelled, punching him in the face.
"THIS, is for the terribly conducted rant that you gave me, with one of the worst reasons I have ever seen!" Brian yelled again, punching him again, slightly harder than the last one.
"And finally, let me explain to your tiny, perverted brain why everything you said about me is incorrect!" Brian yelled, which made Quagmire's ears ring in fear. His voice was filled with anger and determination.
"You say I constantly hit on Lois, but for your information, Glenn, I quit doing that a long time ago. I learned from my mistakes, and I even regret the time I married her! I have since promised I would never do that again, and till this faithful day, I have never hit on her. You on the other hand, drugged her, watched her go to the bathroom, and nearly had SEX with her, trying to benefit from Peter's amnesia! You also say that I defecate all over Peter's lawn, as a sign I never cared for what he did to me. Well, as you know perfectly, I AM A DOG. A GODDAMN DOG. And it's what all dogs do! We defecate over lawns, we do this by nature, smartass! Also, you say I NEVER pay, and I always say "get you later", but that "later" never comes, according to your logic. Well, let me say that I personally HELPED Peter and Lois pay for some of their bills, taxes and finances, and sometimes I even do it myself, PERSONALLY. And you also said I date girls for their bodies, and that I date bimbos, AND that I am never honest, unlike you. WHAT KIND OF LOGIC IS THAT?! It is actually quite the opposite, I date women for their SOULS, their personality, not their bodies! It's on the inside that counts! And look at you, just a sick, perverted, necrophilic womanizer who rapes for his own amusement! And so what the hell if I drive a Prius?! I like the car, so what is your beef with it?! And let me tell you something, I taught my son, and because of my results as a good and strict father, he left to care for his mom. Can you do that?! NO, BECAUSE YOU HAVE AT LEAST A THOUSAND CHILDREN AT YOUR DISPOSAL. I agree on some of your points, I am not a good writer, but that does not mean I should not share my work and get my fair trade of tough love. Yes, I am an alcoholic, but I am not a SEX-CRAZED PERVERT LIKE YOU!"
Finishing his counter-arguments, he knocked Quagmire out with a solid punch to his left cheek, leaving a huge gash on its place. He then dragged his body to his house and threw him on his bed. He returned home afterwards.
Yes….today was indeed a very good day.