"What's wrong with me then, Doctor?"
The attending physician frowned, deep in thought, as she held a stethoscope to her father's nose. Her pyjamas were covered by one of his white shirts.
"It's no good. We're gonna have to take it off."
"My nose?"
"Your head. Sorry Mister Daddy. Try not to cry or I'll have to put you to sleep with a hammer."
"Well, I don't want that. I'll be brave."
"Good. You can have a sticker for being a big boy."
She peeled another sticker off the sheet, a dolphin this time, a stuck it to Blaine's cheek.
"Wow. How many diseases is that now, honey?"
Sophie's brow furrowed as she counted the animals on his face.
"Twelve. Lie down, Daddy, you're having your head animated."
"Oh, right. Sorry."
"No, wait. Can you do my pigtails again? One of them's coming loose."
Blaine hauled himself up and pulled her onto his lap, gently unravelling her hair and plaiting it again.
"Hey Dad," he called out, "how long until lunch? I think the doctor's getting hungry."
"Oh, a while yet. Better find another disease for her to diagnose."
Blaine huffed. He could hear the teasing lilt in Kurt's voice.
"Honey, why don't I pretend to be the doctor for a minute? I'm running out of ways to be sick over here."
"No." Her expression was like thunder. "You don't have the certificates." She pointed to the crayon diploma on the coffee table.
"Of course. Wait. How long has Atticus been acting like that?"
She looked at the bullmastiff lying by the fire, calmly watching events unfold by the couch.
"Always. He's looked like that for my whole life."
Blaine narrowed his eyes at her.
"Are you sure? Are you sure there isn't something different about him today?"
"Hmm. I'll go check him out. You can be the nurse for now."
"Thanks, baby." She threw him a glare. "Sorry. Doctor."
"Come on, Atticus," she said as she heaved him onto his side. "I have to check your tummy."
Blaine could have sworn he saw the dog roll his eyes as he flomped over.
"Sweetheart, be careful. How would you like it if somebody came along while you were sleeping and pushed you over?"
"Daddy, this is more serious than that. He could be dying. If someone pushed me over to save my life, I'd give them a hug."
"Okay. Good point." It was good. He couldn't argue. He shrugged apologetically at the dog.
"Okay. I can hear his heartbeat."
"That's good."
"I can hear more heartbeats. Daddy, he's having puppies."
"Oh… well, that's wonderful, isn't it?"
"No. I'm not a vet. I'm a doctor. I can't help him have puppies. Wait."
She put the stethoscope down and ran to her room. Blaine stroked the dog's side. Atticus raised his head for a second to look at him, before carefully placing it on the floor again.
"What's this about puppies? I said one dog, Blaine. One low maintenance dog that's too lazy to climb on anything. No puppies."
"We're not having puppies. He is."
"He… okay. As long as I don't have to walk them."
They grinned at each other, and Sophie ran back in, almost colliding with Kurt.
"Stand back, this is an emergency! Don't worry," she thrust a piece of paper under Blaine's nose. "I'm a vet too now." He looked down to see the words 'SOPHIE IS A VET' in red. She also had a bunch of stuffed animals under her arm. "Take deep breaths, sir! These puppies are going to come out of your tummy and they're going to hurt!"
Blaine wasn't entirely sure where she'd gotten this information from. He couldn't remember giving her any talks about where babies came from. Maybe she'd overheard one of the girls talking about labour. It didn't matter right now. There was an emergency at hand,
"Doctor Vet Sophie, is there anything I can do?"
"Hold my stethoscope!"
"What do you say?"
"Hold my stethoscope please, nurse!" Blaine did as he was told. Sophie shoved the toys behind the dog and pulled one out dramatically, holding it above her head in triumph. "Puppy number one!" She produced another. "Two!" She passed them both to Blaine.
"How many are back- I mean, in there, Sophie?"
She knelt over to count them.
"Three. Okay, here's another one, push Atticus! There!"
This time she held up a stuffed duck.
"Sophie-"
"Not now, nurse, number four is coming! And five! Both at once!"
They were an octopus and a horse.
"You did it, Sophie! They're all safe!"
"There you go, Atticus." She laid them all in front of him. He took very little interest. "Phew. That was hard work. Atticus was even braver than you, Daddy."
"I know. And I only had to have one head cut off. He had five whole babies."
"Who's hungry?" Kurt asked from the doorway. "This sounds like hard work. Better have a big dinner, right, sweetie?"
Sophie beamed at him.
"Yes, please, Dad."
They sat at the table, tucking into the stir-fry Blaine was sure didn't take an hour to prepare.
"Honey, couldn't you find your other dogs?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, Atticus is a dog. Wouldn't his babies be dogs too?"
She looked at Blaine as if he were talking gibberish.
"That doesn't matter."
Kurt and Blaine smiled.
"Why not, sweetheart?"
"It doesn't matter if they don't look the same. They're still a family because he loves them and he's going to look after them."
Blaine looked over his shoulder at the dog surrounded by toys. He was slobbering on one of them.
"I'm sure he is. Families are all about love, aren't they, Soph?"
She nodded.
"Daddy?"
"Yeah?"
"Why did you ask me that?"
"I was just wondering."
"Daddy?"
"Yes?"
"Atticus is a boy dog. Boys can't have babies. Why didn't you ask me about that?"
"Oh. Well, I wasn't sure if you knew."
She raised an eyebrow at him.
"Everybody knows that. I'm not stupid. You didn't have me, silly. Don't you remember?"
"No, I remember. But we've got you now and that's all that matters. Because we love you very much."
She rolled her eyes and sighed. Kurt and Blaine smiled at each other.
"Yes, Daddy."