Finn didn't have a little sister, or any younger siblings for that matter. He never had to adopt the role of the 'protective older brother', never had to critically eye up blokes who had an unsavoury interest in his hypothetical 'lil sis' and deem, reluctantly whether or not they were worthy of her…he never had anyone to annoy and tease, to yell at him and slam their bedroom door in his face, or ask for his advice on boys or lose against him in running races and board games. As the saying goes, you don't miss what you never had, but at the same time he couldn't help but feel those tendencies towards his mate Izzy.
She'd been the only female friend of his where there wasn't anything but friendly feelings between them. He'd never fancied her and, as far as he was aware, she had never fancied him (due to her long standing crush on his best mate - it had always been obvious to everyone but Chop that nobody could come close to him in her eyes) and that was more than fine.
Finn had always imagined at the beginning of their friendship that time alone with Izzy would be awkward, that they'd have nothing to talk about - nothing in common. He'd tactfully avoided that situation any way he could at the beginning, feeling more comfortable getting to know her with other people around. He was surprised to find that, on the first time where he had absolutely no choice but to be alone with her (he'd got to the pub early and she'd come bouncing in holding an avon catalogue, bought a Bacardi and came strolling over to him, beaming all the while) that it wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as he'd originally anticipated. Granted, she did most of the talking, but Finn couldn't help but enjoy listening, finding her natural cheeriness and optimism endearing. It was a relief for him not to have to put on his 'moody, mysterious' persona he'd usually adopt in front of girls, to actually talk to a girl without the possibility of her wanting something more from him. This fact was confirmed by her subtly dropping Chop's name into parts of the conversation.
"What time did Chop say he was getting here?" she'd ask him, trying to keep her expression nonchalant, but the reddening of her cheeks often gave her away, as well as the flash of disappointment in her eyes when Finn would shrug out a "Dunno."
Her behaviour around Chop proved useful when Finn began fancying Rae. He knew that they were polar opposites, but they were both still girls. He'd seen the gooey look on Rae's face whenever she'd look at Archie, had seen first hand the same blush in her cheeks whenever she'd ask where he was or his name would come up in conversation, but when all that was over, much to Finn's secret relief, he'd try hard to figure out how Rae felt about him through how she acted in his presence, using Izzy as a good port of reference. At times he'd convinced himself that Rae didn't feel the same as he did, realising that both he and Izzy were doomed to be kept in 'the friend zone,' and from that forming an unspoken, one sided affinity with the small red head.
He almost wanted to tell her one day that if she was ever frustrated with Chop, or just felt sad about anything, she could talk to him about it. He was one second away from saying it as they sat in the chippy and Chop had nipped to the loo, but thought at the last minute it might be inappropriate. She had Chloe to talk to anyway, and now Rae, he supposed. He'd often wish he could talk to her about Rae, to get a girl's perspective over the whole sorry thing, but it was too risky. Izzy, although lovely and well meaning, wasn't exactly the best at keeping secrets.
He'd find himself looking out for her on the occasions where she'd had a few too many, keeping the corner of his eye on her as she zig zagged to the bar or a bloke began chatting her up by the juke box.
One time, to his horror, he found himself trapped in the pub on karaoke night, of all nights, not being drunk enough to tolerate the tone deaf drunkards singing 'I Will Survive.' It had just been him, Archie and Izzy, who was, unlike Finn, delighted at the prospect of singing karaoke, stumbling to the machine and picking Paula Abdul's 'Crazy Cool' as soon as she could.
Finn stood up and followed her to stand nearby - as casually as he could, not wanting to let on that his intention was to be ready to help her in case she fell over or was exposed to ridicule. She'd managed to stay upright and unscathed throughout the song, but stumbled over the mic cable as she made her way back to the table, Finn stepping forward to catch her. She'd beamed up on him, saying a bright "Hi Finn! Did you like my singing?" the skin around her eyes crinkling as she closed them tight, giggling behind her grin.
"Yeah, it were dead good." he nodded, talking to her as if she were his 4 year old cousin.
"Do you want me and Archie to take ya home now?"
"No! I'm 'aving a good time!" she'd chimed, Finn propping her upright.
"C'mere!" she said, suddenly wrapping her arms around Finn's waist and pressing her cheek against his chest. Finn patted her on her hair, not being able to stop the smile spreading across his lips and the rush of affection expanding in his chest.
"I love you Finn." she'd said, sleepily. "…but…but not like in a boyfriend way…" she joined, looking back up at his amused face, her arms still wrapped around him.
"I mean, you have a lovely face and hair and stuff, but…I don't fancy ya and I'm sorry…" she shook her head, closing her eyes. They popped open again, growing wide "…but loadsa girls fancy ya don't they, so, I bet you're n-not too sad about me not doing it as…as well."
Finn let out a laugh, sharing an amused glance with Archie, who was watching them with a smirk.
"Don't worry about it, Iz." he said, beaming back down at her.
Izzy nodded, her chin bumping against Finn's chest as she did so. Seemingly happy with her testimonial, she unlinked her arms from his back and stood up, Finn holding her arm as she swayed.
"You sh-should do a sing song, Finn." she said as they walked slowly back to the table.
"Don't count on it." he said, letting out a chuckle as he watched her walk in the wrong direction before finally clocking Archie, who was waving to get her attention. She happily waved back as she moved to sit next to him.
After she and Finn were both seated, she smiled a toothy grin, clapping her hands and bobbing in her seat.
"You and Archie should sing Romson and Jerome!" she exclaimed, as if it was the best idea she'd ever come up with.
"You mean 'Robson' and Jerome?" Archie asked with an amused grin.
"I'm not singing Izzy, you can forget it." Finn said, Izzy slouching in dramatic disappointment.
"Especially not that crap." he continued, Archie nodding in agreement.
Archie and Finn continued to watch in amusement as Izzy went on one of her drunken rambles, her nonsensical spiel a funny thing to witness. She'd be interrupted as another punter took the stage to butcher another pop tune, and Finn found himself singing along with Archie and Izzy, her enthusiasm rubbing off on both of them. They both felt the need to humour her, also, her happiness an important thing to keep in check.
Finn felt Archie nudge him as another woman stumbled from the mic, cackling as she wandered back to her friends. Finn turned, smiling fondly at Izzy, who had slumped back in her seat, eyelids drooping.
"Stay 'ere with her. I'll nip back to mine and grab Dad's car." Finn said, not bothering to whisper. If Izzy could fall asleep through an awful rendition of 'Careless Whisper', she could sleep through anything.
Archie and Finn helped Izzy walk to the car once he had returned, Finn asking Archie to hold her up as he took off his jacket, noticing how she was shivering in the evening air. As he draped his jacket over her shoulders, Archie shook his head.
"What is it with girls and not wearing coats? I swear, they'd rather freeze to death than risk a fashion disaster."
Finn let out a hum of response, opening the passenger seat door and helping Archie sit her down.
"Can ya drop me off on the way to hers? My house is en route." Archie said, lunging forward to stop Izzy falling out, tucking her hair behind her ear so it didn't get trapped in the car door.
"Sure thing, mate." Finn nodded, fastening Izzy's seatbelt before taking the cigarette from behind his ear. Archie got in the back of the car, Finn getting in beside Izzy, looking her over as he lit his fag. She was falling asleep again, a smile still playing on her lips. He looked back at Archie.
"How much did she drink tonight?" he asked.
"About 4 Bacardi's - and I bought her a rum and coke." he quirked his lips guiltily, Finn huffing out a laugh, smoke shooting out of his mouth and nose as he did so. Shaking his head, he started the car, driving to Archie's house, chatting with him on the way as he smoked. When they pulled up, Archie knocked on Izzy's window after leaving the car, shocking her out of her sleep. When she realised what was happening, she waved at him as fast as she could in her half asleep state, throwing him a "Bye Archie!" her voice thick. Archie walked towards his door, Izzy looking around at Finn through a squint, rubbing her eyes and focussing as he pulled away.
"Did I fall asleep?" she asked, sounding a little bit more sober than before.
"Yeah. You'll sleep through anything, you." Finn said.
"I've always been like that, ever since I was a baby. I'd sleep through anythin' - police sirens, fire alarms, dogs barking…" Izzy said before letting out a yawn.
"You fell asleep at my birthday party a couple months back, right in fronta the stereo speaker. We kept pulling party poppers in front of ya but you didn't even flinch. We were nearly gonna call the ambulance. You got us worried." Finn said, throwing her a grin.
She threw Finn a shocked look, her mouth quirking into a smile. "No way! How embarrassing! It's because Chop made me drink that bottle of White Lightening. It's the drink that does it."
"Don't tell me ya parents got ya pissed when you were a baby?" Finn teased.
Izzy giggled, shuffling in her seat to get more comfortable. She looked down, just realising Finn's jacket was around her shoulders.
"Is this your jacket?" she exclaimed with a frown, looking at the the sleeves dangling on either side of her.
"Yeah. You were cold." Finn said with a shrug.
Izzy looked at him with a warm smile, gazing at him in silence for a minute or two.
Finn glanced at Izzy, a feeling of fear sweeping over him. He hoped that she didn't get the wrong idea, that she didn't start developing a crush on him despite her drunken declarations that she didn't see him that way. He thought about how impossibly awkward that would be; how much he'd hate to let her down. Then he thought about Chop, how he might react. Chop and Izzy weren't even a couple, and Chop had never given the impression of reciprocating Izzy's feelings, but everyone was of the belief that they'd get together eventually. They just made sense, the pair of them, at least to Finn. He would feel like he was betraying Chop in some way, that Chop might be upset over Izzy switching her affections onto somebody else, his best mate of all people.
Finn swallowed, his palms sweating against the steering wheel. When Izzy only blinked slowly in his direction, he threw her a "What?" returning his worried gaze to the road after giving her a shifty glance.
"You always look after me, don't ya." she said, sleepy again.
"Yeah…well…you're my mate aren't ya? I always look out for me mates." he said, trying to hide the nervousness in his voice.
"Nah…you're more than that, Finn. You mean a lot more t'me than that." she said, smiling under her half open eyelids.
Oh fuck.
"H-how d'ya mean?" Finn asked, his throat tightening and his mouth becoming dry. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer. Spotting Izzy's house, he pulled up, the silence deafening as he turned off the ignition. He bit his lip, looking down at his hands.
She rocked her head against the headrest, pulling Finn's jacket tighter around her.
"I hope you're not weirded out by this, but…" Oh God, Oh God, please don't say it Izzy, please. Don't go there…
Finn held his breath, wiping his palms against his knees. This was going to get seriously awkward…
"…you're like an older brother to me." she finished, Finn closing his eyes and sighing in relief. He let out an embarrassed smile, looking at the steering wheel.
"Is that weird?" Izzy continued, crinkling her nose. Finn shook his head, throwing her a warm gaze.
"No, Izzy, it isn't weird. That's dead sweet of ya."
Finn wanted to tell her that he thought of her as a little sister, too, but he felt the declaration would be too sickly sweet. He didn't do sickly sweet. He seemed to be leaning more towards it whenever Izzy was around, however, finding himself doing things he wouldn't usually do, providing there wasn't any fit girls around, or more recently, if Rae wasn't nearby. He'd probably do karaoke next time it was on; could see himself singing a lame duet with Izzy, knowing it would make her month if he did.
Finn watched Izzy as she walked to her front door, a bit steadier on her feet than before. He waited for her to find her keys in her tiny hand bag and attempt, after a few false starts, to put it in the keyhole. After she'd done so, she gave him a happy wave before she walked in, her smile so bright it was even visible in the darkness. Finn waved back (another act he only reserved for Izzy - it wasn't manly to wave at people) noticing Izzy's hair-grip on the seat as he turned to look at his abandoned jacket. He picked it up, placing it on the dashboard. He'd never admit it to anyone, but Izzy had really touched him with her confession. He felt a warmth in his stomach and chest, something entirely different to the warmth he felt whenever he saw Rae walking into the pub or when she accidentally brushed past him as she sat in the booth - this was a comfortable warmth, untainted with conflict and confusion - it was just nice. Easy, simple, sexless affection. It was refreshing, and something Finn really needed during the turbulent period of time he was currently languishing in.
Finn drove away, switching on the radio. His smile turned into an outright laugh as Robson and Jerome's 'Unchained Melody' began to play.
Yeah, he may be convinced to do karaoke someday, but it would take a miracle for him to sing that utter toss.