Hello! Dead here with my very first fanfic :D

I'm a Izuo/Shizaya addict and I just love the alternates and this pairing needs more love! I got this idea a few days ago and I told my friend Fair Weather Tyrant about it and he has been dieing waiting for this xD So I hope you enjoy reviews and suggestions are love! I want to know if people like this our not.

Summary: Roppi had always wanted to kill himself and leave this world. What will happen when he succedes and finds himself in the depths of hell? Slight AU and perhaps slight OOC. demon!Tsuki and dead!Roppi. Tsuki/Roppi Yaoi. Rated M for language, violence, and of course smut for the later chapters.

Disclaimer: I don't own DRRR if I did it would be a yaoi anime/manga -

Life...
Intolerable... Meaningless... Painful

Humans...
Annoying... Disgusting... Animals

The days were becoming unbearable. Waking up every morning pissed him off more then the 'tick-tick-ticking' of the wall clock that hung in the office area of the apartment where he spent the majority of his time it seemed. He had little desire to go out ever because then he would be surrounded by one of the things he hated most... and that was people. Roppi hated everything about human beings which made him completely opposite of his brother Izaya Orihara who seemed to love the population of parasites with a burning yet obsessive passion.

He began to think about how nice it would be to just disappear. To just go into the bathroom and slash that major vein in his arm. Watch the crimson fluid as it spilled from his arm to crawl along the white surface of the shower floor, splinter out like stretching branches before sinking down the drain in hypnotic spirals taking a portion of his life with it. Untill finally it was all gone and his world would evaporate into darkness.

But that burning, searing pain...
Would fade with the cold embrace of his dark desire.

Usually Izaya was here with him when he started to imagine these sort of thoughts, but tonight the other raven was out prowling the streets of Ikebukuro. He said something about trolling a 'Shizu-chan' or whatever. So Roppi was just left home alone to his own devices and he was going fucking insane!

He was angry...
No! He was pissed! Pissed that his brother left him here alone like this, pissed at life, pissed at humans...
And pissed at himself

Roppi didn't understand why he got like this sometimes. He just couldn't seem to stay in control of himself or his emotions. He would get moody, snap at somebody when they were just joking, go to a corner hugging his knees to his chest and sob, and then of course cut his wrist just cause he felt like it. Sometimes he did it when he was just bored. He couldn't help it.

This little 'habit 'of his has of course sent him to the hospital a few times. It must of been such an annoying inconvience to Izaya because after the third time his older brother tried his best to keep anything sharp confiscated and away from him. This made Roppi feel a lot more antsy like a smoker who had been deprived of his cancer stick.

Tick Tock... Tick Tock...

Damn clock! It was 11:03 pm and Roppi stood leaning against the rather large glass window that was behind Izaya's desk. He watched the bustling 'hot bed of humans', as quoted by his older brother, that scuttled below like a bunch of little insects. Roppi saw many humans. Different genders, sizes, shapes, races they all passed under the window lost in their world unaware of the raven male that peered down at them from above like a disgusted god. He watched a particular group of girls pass by. They were chattering away like a bunch of high pitched, poorly educated, valley girls. They had more make-up on then a clown and they just all together looked so trashy.

"And these are the types of girls people call attractive? I don't get it." Roppi sneered in disgust.

He was glad he was deattached from these 'creatures' he was nothing like them, he never would be and it made his world more depressing having to be in this life with these... these things. What in the world did Izaya see in these animals that made Izaya love them so much. Roppi snapped from his thoughts when he could hear them talking as they started to disappear around the corner.

"O...M...G... No way that is so totally lame! Your dad is like a total asshole."
"Like I know right? He just won't keep his nose out of my business! I was like dad he is only 32..."
"Whores..." Roppi mummbled.

That was all he heard because the group disappeared. That was fine by him he had lost intrest anyway. He turned away from the would and a small glint caught his attention. He walked toward the desk just a foot or two away and noticed that by the key board of the computer was one of Izaya's knives. Looks like his brother was so excited to head of to Ikebukuro that he didn't realize he left this here or forgot to hide it or whatever.

"Is this a dagger I see before me? Come let me clutch thee." Roppi murmured, not caring how corny that Macbeth reference sounded because it wasn't like anybody was around to hear, as he reached and lifted the beautifully sharp object on the table by the steal. He ran his finger slowly against the sharp edge, a small stream of crimson staining the clean blade, the weight in his hand was reassuring, comforting, and scary all in one.
"I could just stab my chest now... and end all this..."
He thought turning the blade so it poked against his chest lightly right over his heart. He could feel it hammer against his ribcage as he imagined plunging the blade through skin past muscle and bone to impale the vital organ.
"There is nobody here who could stop me... I could finally leave this world forever..."
Though his hands were trembling slightly. What was this? Why was he so nervous? This is what he wanted wasn't it? Here he was with a perfect opprotunity and he couldn't go through with it? What a disgusting coward! How he HATED himself... most of all.

Tick... Tock... T-Tick Tock...

It was 2:26 am and Izaya still hadn't come home yet. How much time could he possibly spend with this 'Shizu-chan' person? This was getting a bit ridiculous. Roppi was in the bathroom. His left arm was painted crimson and the blade of the knife was stained completely as the raven haired male continued to carve lines of various lengths into his arm tearing open old wounds and scars from past cuttings. At first it stung because it had been awhile since he hadn't done it in awhile but after awhile the pain disapated with numbness.
"I hate myself... I hate this world... but I can't even take my own life... I want to die I want to die! "
Tears of frustration bubbled up in the corner of Roppi's eyes as he bit down on his lower lip violently that it tore slightly and he could taste the sharp metallic flavor of blood as it touched the tip of his tongue. He applied more force in his anger slashing deeper down into his abused arm. Soon he would have to move on the the right arm.

It was 3:00 am. Roppi had layed back against the wall, both arms cut up all the way to his elbows. The blood on his arms were dry now, but the blood pooled on the floor was a different story. He didn't want to move right now though, he felt light headed and woozy... to put it simply he felt like shit. He held the knife weakly in his hand and he stared at nothing in particular his vision had been blurred over for awhile and was only just starting to come back as his poor body struggled to cover the blood it had lost. "Guess it wasn't enough it didn't kill me..."
He thought as his eyes slowly moved to look down at the blood. Izaya was going to scold him he just knew it and that thought sparked a slight anger. He didn't want to hear it... it was the same thing again and again!

"Roppi-kun thats dangerous you need to stop..."
"Shut... up..."
"Look at the mess you made Roppi-kun tsk tsk..."
"S-shut up!"
"You'll end up in the hospital again..."
"SHUT UP!"

Several more minutes passed or at least it felt like it because that annoying clock on the wall 'tick-tick-ticked' for what felt like forever. He pushed up forcing his shaky body up into the standing position, knife still in hand. He didn't want to be in here the blood made the room smell bad and he was to sick to clean up. He would just go to the couch and just sleep there, the climb to the second floor to where his room was seemed to long of a trip to the woozy raven.

This wasn't the best idea on his part. The floor was still sleek with his blood and when he went to step the expected happened. Roppi found himself falling forward, gravity could be such a bitch, and his mind felt rushed at this quick action. He was still so weak his body was unable to react properly. He tried to move his hands in front to catch himself but the weak limbs gave way immediatly. Roppi's body hit the floor with a loud thump, his head knocking against the floor with a loud CRACK making the raven see stars.

Though it wasn't till that pain was reduced into pounding throbs that he realized a much sharper pain in his midsection... along with the feeling of warm liquid pooling around his chest.

Absolute terror spread across his face as dark realization hit him. His whole body trembled as he let out strangled gasps. He forced... oh how he forced his body to roll a bit so he could get a look at the culprit to his pain.

The knife... he had been holding it and when he fell... he had held it face up... and when he tried to catch himself. It was stuck in there deep he couldn't even see an inch of the blade. In his panic he probably did one of the worst things you could do. He gripped the blade and struggled to remove it he wriggled and tugged untill he ripped it out from his body.
"A-AAAAAH!"
He screamed out in burning, searing, hellish pain as it was removed and oozing steady flow of blood was his reward. The knife fell to the side with a clatter as he gripped the wound tightly. Pressure! He needed to apply pressure to stop the bleeding! But Roppi was to weak.

Help! He would call Izaya! He frantically fooled with his jacket pockets searching for his phone only to realize much to his dismay that he had left it on the coffee table in front of the couch. "No no no no! "
His mind shrieked as squirmed and clawed at the floor trying to crawl out of the bathroom to get to his phone. His arms screamed in protest the crusted blood and scabs breaking to reopen the cuts all over his arms. Roppi could feel himself getting weaker and weaker with each small inch he dragged himself. Spots of black and white started to dot around his vision and his head spun as if it was spinning inside his head.

He reached for the phone smacking the glass in desperation the blood smearing across the glass with each try.
"No I don't... I don't want to die!"
He would be surprised by his own words if he wasn't so terrified. His mind was fading the phone only getting farther and farther away the harder he tried to reach it. Soon his arm just went limp and slowly slid before falling to the floor with a light thump. There was no more strength to move.

So Roppi just layed there sobbing loudly as he screamed in desperation,
"IZAYA! IZAAYAAAAA!"
Untill even his voice slowly failed him.

T-t-t-tiii-t-tick T-tock... T-t-t-t-t-t-t...

He knew he was dieing. Each one of his senses were fading away...

First it was taste... He couldn't taste the salt from his tears or the metallic of the blood

Second was smell...
The smell that stung his nose was gone along with any scents of the home

Third was hearing...
That damn ticking was gone

He found out that it was almost completly gone when he heard the door, then the skipping footstep that stopped when Izaya saw the sight. He heard muffled steps of running and could barely hear the shout of his older brother.
"Roppi! ROPPI!"

Fourth was touch...
Izaya was embracing him

"Don't tell me to calm down! He's dieing!" Izaya he was screaming on the phone at somebody but he couldn't hear anything after that. His world went mute. He could feel his sense of touch slipping away to he could just barely register that Izaya was gripping him so tight that it was almost painful. "Izaya I'm scared... I've done it... This time I've done it... I don't want to be alone."
He willed his lips to move his voice to speak, but he couldn't.

He stared up at his brother black slowly creeping across his vision threatening to engulf him and take him away forever. Tears poured but he couldn't feel them, couldn't move to touch them. He felt like he was slipping but he was sure Izaya hadn't let him go. He was at the mercy at whatever was tugging at him, he couldn't move to reach and clutch to Izaya to clutch onto life.

The last thing he saw was the tears that streamed down Izaya's cheek before the darkness swallowed his vision and he fell.

"Tick Tock the clock has stopped..."
The voice spoke in the darkness.