Disclaimer: The characters belong to J.E.
I was searching through some old tunes and came across this one. Thought it would work perfectly for this story. This is a song-fic using the song You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore by Neil Diamond and Barbra Streisand.
I stood looking around the room making sure there was nothing left to indicate I'd ever graced this house with my presence. Hard to believe five years was packed up into two oversized bags. But then I never really did live here for long. Somehow we'd always get in a fight and you would disappear for months on some undercover assignment or another. I smiled sadly. As if I didn't know you always engineered a breakup so you wouldn't feel guilty for screwing around with whatever female was handy. I have to admit, at first I had no clue. But you can't live in the Burg without hearing all the gossip. And let's face it, you were one of the juiciest pieces of gossip around.
You don't bring me flowers
You don't sing me love songs
Over time it got increasingly more difficult to say anything to you when you came back home. There was always the knowledge that you were with other women, plus while you were gone I usually ended up turning to Ranger. Each time it got harder and harder to come back to you and not just stay where my heart really wanted to be. With Ranger.
You hardly talk to me anymore
When I come through
the door at the end of
the day...
When I think back I remember how you used to always try to look down the front of my shirt. You seemed to always want me and couldn't get me in bed fast enough. You'd spend the night loving me numerous times.
I remember when you
couldn't wait to love me
Used to hate to leave me
Now after loving me late at night
It all seems so mechanical anymore. As if your heart isn't in it anymore than my heart is. Sometimes I wonder if you can see the tears on my cheeks when I ask myself why I'm letting you do this to me when the person I really want is across town in his apartment on Haywood. Unfortunately, I seem to be too much of a chicken to actually take a chance that what's between Ranger and I can be enough. He doesn't want a relationship and I try to honor that, but aren't we in a relationship? I mean the man lends me cars, has his men protect me, and he's always there for me when I need him. He doesn't want commitment. But he's already committed to making sure I'm safe. I'm so confused...
When it's good for you, babe
And you're feeling all right
It's not even as if our sex life seems that important to you anymore. Lately you seem to be going through the motions like your mind is a million miles away. Just as my mind is across town with another.
When you just roll
over and turn out the
light...
And you don't bring me
flowers anymore
We used to be so effortless. I didn't have to pretend to have feelings for you.
It used to be so natural
We would come together with such ease.
It used to be...
We could talk about anything.
To talk about forever
Now...we seemed to avoid talking at all costs.
Mmm...
The past doesn't seem to matter much these days.
But used-to-bes don't
count anymore
They just lay on the floor
Till we sweep them away
But I remember when you taught me how to play choo choo, and you taught me about sex on the floor of the Tasty Pastry. I remember the feelings I used to have for you.
And baby I
remember all the
things you taught
me
I remember the good times and the bad.
I learned how to laugh
and I learned how to
cry
I came to love two men. But then something happened and my love for you turned into something else while the love I felt for Ranger became so much more. Unfortunately I had to hide it from both of you.
Well, I learned how to
love and I learned how
to lie
I've done a lot of thinking this last time since you've been gone. I know you're not what I want any longer and I don't know how much longer I can live this lie.
So you think I could
learn how to tell you
goodbye
For a reason that baffles me I can't seem to say goodbye to you.
So you think I could
learn how to tell you
goodbye
You don't bring me
flowers any more...
I find I'm not proud of myself for the way I've been acting. I don't love you like I used to when we first got together during the Sugar incident. Yet here we are still living together on occasion and having sex. I can't even say I enjoy that with you anymore. Not when my heart is his. He's told me too often that he doesn't want commitment. All he wants is my body for as long as this attraction lasts. I wish I could do that...that it would be enough. But I can't. I need more. But this...us isn't working either. Something has to give.
Well, you think I
could learn how to
tell you goodbye...
I think I know what I need to do. I just hope I have the strength.
`Cause you don`t say you need me;
I'm planning on one more night with him...
You don't sing me love songs;
It's going to have to last me a lifetime. I place the letter I've written to you on the kitchen table. I'm not sure where I'll be when you get home to read it. I close my eyes to keep the tears at bay. Slowly I turn and walk out the door.
You don't bring me
flowers anymore...
I put the bags in back and head to Haywood. I use the key fob to make my way to the penthouse and when I walk in Ranger is standing there waiting for me. There's a look in his eyes I can't interpret. I walk forward till I'm standing directly in front of him. For several seconds we stare at each other and then he lifts me and carries me into the bedroom. I spend the night loving him. I pour out all my emotions in the act of lovemaking. It doesn't matter if this is what he wants or not. Tonight is for me. It's the last night I will have and I'm determined to make it the most it can be.