I kicked the small pebble out of my way as I continued to walk down the streets of Seattle. I did not want to go back to Forks, to the life I had there, or what approximated a life nowadays. I had been so lost and numb ever since he had left me. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't kill myself and leave Charlie all alone. I couldn't do that to him. Yet I no longer wanted to continue living, because though I knew he was out there somewhere he didn't want me, probably never did. He didn't love me. A sob broke through my chest and I felt the gaping hole in my chest open once more.
It was at that moment I saw the lights. I squinted my eyes wondering what that could be. There were definitely lights on the other side of the park. I started to walk toward them, momentarily forgetting the pain. No not forgetting, putting it aside, for it never truly left. I walked through the spattering of trees and saw the spot lights all three of them pointing to a pretty girl perched on the roof top edge.
A man was holding a mega phone. Obviously about to try to talk her out of jumping off the building. I looked up at her with an expression of awe for her strength. She was going to end her pain where I couldn't.
My eyes where pulled to her face where a look of complete determination graced her soft features. I was mesmerized by this of determination and the way the light from the spot lights played off the residual tears on her cheeks. She wasn't crying anymore.
I could here the man with the mega phone talking but I didn't process any of the words he was saying and I could tell she felt the same way. In this moment I understood her, this complete stranger. This man couldn't understand our pain. He wanted to talk her down off the ledge. Then he would go home, back to his life, and she would still be in pain. If she jumped the pain would be over. We seemed to come to this conclusion at the same time.
I watched as an angelic smile light up her face as she stretched her arms as though she were embracing the night. Then she stepped off the wall and fell through the air. It was the most horrifyingly beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. She was so graceful in her fall so peaceful. She didn't scream or flail. She just continued to smile.
I heard rather than saw the impact. I felt a tear fall down my cheek. Then shook my head she was no longer in pain. She had found her peace. Instead I applauded her strength.