Tonks' Diary Entries from 1995- 1996
I'm so glad to have time to talk to you finally! It's currently late and I am in the Department of Mysteries guarding a prophecy about Harry Potter and You-Know-Who. I still can't believe the Order is giving me such dark and dangerous jobs already. Oh wait! I don't think I've told you about the Order, or anything thats happened! Well everything has changed. It starts with Harry Potter being in the Triwizard Tournament. After the third task, Cedric Diggory and him were brought to a graveyard where You-Know-Who returned to power. Dumbledore believed him, and so of course, I believe him too. He started recruiting people for the Order of the Phoenix, but the MInistry and Fudge are in denial, or think he's mad. One of those. So, Harry is being ridiculed and Dumbledore has lost being Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, voted out of the Chairmanship of the International Confederation of Wizards, and they almost took away his Order of Merlin First Class. They are mad for doing that, its Dumbledore for god's sake! Out of all the Auror's it's just Kingsley and me who are the newbies, and Mad-Eye of course joined again. Though being from the Ministry, it's a great asset to Dumbledore because we get to feed him information. Kingsley also is feeding information to the Aurors that Sirius is in Tibet. Well anyways I better pay more attention to guarding, will write as soon as I can!
The Order meeting is about to start, i'm so excited and nervous. I'm excited to help in any way possible, but i'm also nervous for what Dumbledore is going to do regarding Harry Potter. I heard that while Mundungus Fletcher was supposed to guard him, he left, and was attacked by dementors. He is now facing expulsion. As if that kid needs more on his plate! So this meeting was called about yesterday, and we all think Dumbledore is gonna bring him here or do something! Dumbledore just walked in looking worn out, I'll write after.
The meetings just ended and Dumbledore wants us to find a way to get Harry out with the muggles being out of the picture. I volunteered, but didn't know how so McGonagall told me that those muggles he's with are very uptight about their house and yard. She thinks they care more about that than Harry. Those darn muggles! I am gonna write them a letter saying that there's an All-England Best Kept Suburban Lawn Competition. I bet they will buy it being their pretentious selves.
Sent the letter via muggle post. The plan is to take him tonight after they leave. We are gonna transport him with broomsticks. I'm excited to meet Harry. Lupin has told me a lot about him. He keeps going on and on about how good he is at Quidditch and that he can do a Patronus. I told Lupin, of course he's amazing he's Harry Potter! He didn't laugh just got all serious with Mad-Eye about procedures. He's so serious all the time!
Sorry about that was interrupted! Mad-Eye wanted to leave 2 hours before the plan! He was ushering everyone out the door when Dumbledore told him to wait a little longer. Dumbledore is the only one he will listen to. Oh, and get this he wanted us to head back over what we already passed because he thought we could be followed! Oh, well let's get back to the beginning when I picked up Harry. I couldn't believe how clean these muggles were. My dad's a muggle and a slob, yet these muggles didn't have one speck of dirt. Everything was freshly polished. The smell of whatever they use to clean was overwhelming. Harry's room, however, was much better. He had everything everywhere, and the Owl cage was dirty. It was actually nice to have his owl cage smell. Much better than whatever the muggles use, and it was more normal. We packed his stuff, and we were about to set off when Remus introduced me to him as Nymphadora! Can you believe that? I've told him so many times to call me Tonks. Who would name their child Nymphadora besides my mother? I think he found me interesting, as he didn't know what a Metamorphagus was, and I showed him. I looked a bit peaky with purple hair so I had to change it. You wouldn't believe what he has though, a Firebolt! Then we set off and it was freezing up there! With Mad-Eye on the lookout he wanted us to double back, like I said, when we were frozen to our brooms! Mad!
Sorry diary! I've been so busy at the Ministry and with the Order. Scrimgeour is making me more stressed because he keeps asking me and Kingsley funny questions! I'm still guarding in the Department of Mysteries, and it's probably from that i'm not sleeping well. Remus is guarding too, and I'm glad sometimes we'll switch swifts or we'll guard together. He says it's because he thinks i'm overly exhausted, and thinks I will fall asleep on duty! I keep telling him that yes i'm overly tired, but that doesn't mean that I will fall asleep on a duty so important. He stays anyways. Weird.
So I just got done taking Harry, Ron, Ginny, Hermione, Fred, and George to King's Cross Station as it's September 1st. Sirius came too, disguised as a dog. It was funny how he leaped up onto him to say goodbye, even one of Harry's friends thought it was great! I, though, had a great disguise too. I disguised myself as an old woman. I love being a Metamorphagus as it always comes in handy! I miss the the gang though. I loved coming over for those wonderful dinners Mrs. Weasley made, and entertaining Hermione and Ginny with different noses. Oh, how I will miss that! I think Sirius misses Harry already. He's been down even more than usual. The poor bloke, he's so lonely. Remus has been stopping by Grimmauld Place more than any of us. He really cares about him.
I wish there was more happiness in my life right now. I am overwhelmed with the Ministry and the Order. I don't mind working for the Order as I am fighting against You-Know-Who, but the Ministry is driving me mad! Everyday I have to lie, and I have suspicions that they suspect things, which scares me. I talk to Remus a lot, he's trying to get my spirits up. He keeps telling me that we are doing something noble that Dumbledore knows fully what to do to keep opposition to You-Know-Who defensive and strong. He says that it's hard now, and it won't certainly get easier, but we need to stay strong as we are fighting something worth fighting for. I agree with him, its just sometimes it's just so hard. I don't have it nearly as hard as him though, and I think his attitude really uplifts me and encourages me.
I'm still completely overwhelmed with everything right now. I feel like i have weights on my shoulders at all times, and even though I know it's important to have that, it's still hard.
I need more support. Lupin's supported me the most. He's the only one I can count on to make me realize the importance of staying strong. I am, diary, don't worry.
Last night, it was Arthur's turn to guard at the Department of Mysteries, and Harry had a vision of him having being bitten by a snake. Turns out it was real and happened. Because of Harry, Arthur was saved. He was badly attacked, and if Harry hadn't seen it he would be dead. I am so relieved! I couldn't imagine losing Arthur. We need him in the Order, and oh how that would affect Molly if he died! Poor Arthur is in St. Mungo's right now, and we are all gonna visit him. Excited to see the gang and Arthur. I hop he gets well soon!
It was a sad day today to see Arthur at St. Mungo's. Harry, Hermione, and the Weasley's were all there with us. Arthur, though, had an idea of using a muggle thing called "stitches" to help his wounds. I can't say Molly was too happy about that. I gave Harry a miniature replica of his Firebolt which I think he really liked! I accompanied them back on the Knight Bus to Hogwarts. Again, sad to see them go.
Lupin's always there for me and always keeps me grounded in my purpose to the Order with great advice and wisdom. I can't express how much I appreciate him.
Lupin's really charming in a way. He's too serious, but he has this charm about him. I don't know what it is. Also, he's kind of good-looking. I never said I liked perfectly groomed, and perfect looking men. I kind of like the ruffled, messed-up look. I feel like he needs help. He's so worn-out all the time and sad. I'm scared for him because the full moon is approaching in a week. I'm gonna pay Mundungus to get me some Wolfsbane Potion. He so desperately needs it!
Lupin's been acting kind of distant. I don't know what's been going on with him, but I think he needs help. Maybe I can help him. I don't know, I got to do something.
My last couple entries have been about Lupin. What can I say? I really care about his well-being. I saw him yesterday, two days after the full moon, and he looked so worn out. He still smiled and acted like he was well, even though we know he's not, he had a great big smile. He has a nice smile.
I know i've been talking about Lupin a lot, but he has this way of always helping me when I need to be lifted up. It's nice when he talks about Harry, he really adores him. I think it's great how he looks after the one he cares about. I wonder how he looks at me. Not that it matters of course. Did I mention that he's a really good storyteller, you can get lost in his stories. His eyes really speak emotions. I never noticed before that his brown eyes have tiny green specks in them.
I'm sorry diary, I haven't been writing much but I am gonna tell you everything now as it is all I can do as I sit in St. Mungo's. Last night, we were alerted by Snape that Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Neville and Luna went to fight the Death Eaters in the Department of Mysteries over the prophecy. Kingsley, Mad-Eye, Sirius, and I rushed there and fought them. I stunned Lucius, and tried to duel Bellatrix, but she knocked me unconscious. I owe her. One day, I will hurt her. Sadly, Bellatrix also hurt Sirius. Killed him. I am so upset over his death, and I want to hurt her so badly. Kingsley dueled well, and Mad-Eye lost his eyeball fighting. He later found it though. One good thing happened though, all the aurors and Fudge witnessed You-Know-Who. Everyone knows that he has returned to power. I don't know what is better though now, everyone believing his is gone, or back. Now, it's going back to how it used to be. I shudder to think what's going to happen.
I'm so happy to be released from St. Mungo's. Lupin has told me that we need to have a talk with Harry's aunt and uncle because they do not treat him right. I am going to KIng's Cross to have this nice little talk with them. If it doesn't work, i'm sure Mad-Eye will handle it better.