Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot.
Your like a drug.
I watch you sleep and wonder why I am here. I am here because I need you. I could say that I love you and I do, but I feel that for it to be real love then we have to have a mutual feeling. Have you ever really loved someone? Maybe you have. Actually I think you have. You loved them so much didn't you? And they hurt you. And now you fear that pain again, you fear rejection.
Every night I think this when I come to your room. Every night I come to your room I hope, I pray that you have changed. I wish you would love me as I love you. I try and show you all this in the tender kisses I give you. But you never see. Your just using me for the sex. I know you are, I have always hoped it would be more but I know that it isn't. I can feel it when you turn over and fall asleep.
How can you sleep? If I were using someone for just the sex then I don't think that I could live with myself. I wouldn't even like myself. But then you don't have a concense do you? After all you were a death eater. You are probably incapable of love now. After they got to you and moulded you into what they wanted you to be.
But then again it could be me. Is it me that's wrong? Am I the reason you don't love me? All through my school years I had admired you and adored you. But you never gave me a second glance. Why? Was I not good enough for you? Was I not good enough for the marvellous Severus Snape? No it wasn't me! I wasn't the one that was fucked up! It was you, its always been you. I just wanted to help you, to show you not everyone will turn you away, not everyone hates you. But I could never get through to you. You would never let anyone close enough to you, for them to help you.
I don't know why I keep coming back to you. Maybe I need the sex, maybe I need it as its the only way I can get close to you. Maybe I am trying to see if you can love me. No it isn't those reasons at all. I know what it is. Its the me trying to prove that you can't get to me. That you can't hurt me the same way you were hurt. That's what you want isn't it? You want me to show how much you control me, you want me to break down and sob. Well guess what. I won't. so what if the world hurt you or you were rejected. I am not going to do that. I will not bend to you. You know how it feels to be hurt so why do it to someone else? Why inflict that pain on someone else? Not everyone is here to hurt you my dear potions master!
I wonder if I left you know then would you miss me? Would you crave me? I know that I would miss you and I would spend endless nights thinking about you and crying about how ridiculous I am. Can you not even care for me? Not even have some affection? I don't know! But I do know that I love you. Even after all you have put me through I love you. I want to be next to you when you wake up in the morning and I want to be the last thing you see at night.
I know I can't have it that way. I am not like you. I need someone to love me. I am human and in that I suppose I am weak. But you. You are like a marble statue so perfect and smooth and beautiful and desirable. But also cold and harsh and unfeeling.
Your like a Plant you seem harmless but really your a poison. Your like a drug you always leave me needing more.
Your like a drug.
I watch you sleep and wonder why I am here. I am here because I need you. I could say that I love you and I do, but I feel that for it to be real love then we have to have a mutual feeling. Have you ever really loved someone? Maybe you have. Actually I think you have. You loved them so much didn't you? And they hurt you. And now you fear that pain again, you fear rejection.
Every night I think this when I come to your room. Every night I come to your room I hope, I pray that you have changed. I wish you would love me as I love you. I try and show you all this in the tender kisses I give you. But you never see. Your just using me for the sex. I know you are, I have always hoped it would be more but I know that it isn't. I can feel it when you turn over and fall asleep.
How can you sleep? If I were using someone for just the sex then I don't think that I could live with myself. I wouldn't even like myself. But then you don't have a concense do you? After all you were a death eater. You are probably incapable of love now. After they got to you and moulded you into what they wanted you to be.
But then again it could be me. Is it me that's wrong? Am I the reason you don't love me? All through my school years I had admired you and adored you. But you never gave me a second glance. Why? Was I not good enough for you? Was I not good enough for the marvellous Severus Snape? No it wasn't me! I wasn't the one that was fucked up! It was you, its always been you. I just wanted to help you, to show you not everyone will turn you away, not everyone hates you. But I could never get through to you. You would never let anyone close enough to you, for them to help you.
I don't know why I keep coming back to you. Maybe I need the sex, maybe I need it as its the only way I can get close to you. Maybe I am trying to see if you can love me. No it isn't those reasons at all. I know what it is. Its the me trying to prove that you can't get to me. That you can't hurt me the same way you were hurt. That's what you want isn't it? You want me to show how much you control me, you want me to break down and sob. Well guess what. I won't. so what if the world hurt you or you were rejected. I am not going to do that. I will not bend to you. You know how it feels to be hurt so why do it to someone else? Why inflict that pain on someone else? Not everyone is here to hurt you my dear potions master!
I wonder if I left you know then would you miss me? Would you crave me? I know that I would miss you and I would spend endless nights thinking about you and crying about how ridiculous I am. Can you not even care for me? Not even have some affection? I don't know! But I do know that I love you. Even after all you have put me through I love you. I want to be next to you when you wake up in the morning and I want to be the last thing you see at night.
I know I can't have it that way. I am not like you. I need someone to love me. I am human and in that I suppose I am weak. But you. You are like a marble statue so perfect and smooth and beautiful and desirable. But also cold and harsh and unfeeling.
Your like a Plant you seem harmless but really your a poison. Your like a drug you always leave me needing more.