Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans, sadly. That honor belongs to DC Comics, Warner Brothers, and Cartoon Network respectively.

A/N: This is kind of a companion piece to Philophobia but you don't have to read that story to understand this one. At least, I don't think you do.

Romance Gone All Wrong

Romancing is hard work. I've never noticed it before, but that's probably because I've never really romanced anyone before. When your last girlfriend has problems beyond your capacity there isn't much romance, if you can imagine.

First, you have to get out a white table cloth, the kind that your mom tells you never to touch because you'll get it dirty (and she's probably right), and you put it over the table. Second you get some candles in candlesticks and light them, adding ambiance (or something like that). Then you have to get out the meal (Which in our case will be frozen chicken nuggets, which hopefully will be cooked by the time Raven gets here, and potato chips. Sue me for not being a gourmet cook.) and hope that they don't burn. Then get out the light dimmer and lower it to the appropriate level.

Raven would probably laugh at me if she knew all of the trouble that I'm going through to make this special. Either that or she'd just roll her eyes at me and purse her lips in that way that she does when she knows what I've just done is pretty amusing and she just won't admit it.

But I want tonight to be special, even if it is cheesy romantic special. That's just the kind of guy that I am. I'm cheesy. Raven's known this about me for long enough to know that that's not going to change.

Besides, I think she likes it.

Sure she can deny it all she wants, but you know what they say. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt. Besides, romance is a good thing, or so I've heard. I've never really gotten the chance to be really romantic, and I've kind of always wanted to. I think that it's kind of fun, actually, getting into the feeling and all that jazz.

Besides I want this night to be breathtaking, amazing, wonderful, all of the things that in movies make saying those three little words so special.

I know that saying them really shouldn't be a big deal, and that when you do say them that you should actually mean them. Well I do mean them. I mean them more than most people my age do, especially when it comes to Raven.

Raven is, in a word, astounding. She's everything. I can't even describe her properly, she's just that amazing.

If I tried to describe her I guess it'd be like this:

I like the way that when she doesn't show emotion on her face you can always read it in her eyes, because you know that she actually does feel something no matter how much she doesn't admit it. I like watching her smile, because I know that I have to earn every one and that she doesn't just give them away for free. I like how her hair falls over her face and how she's constantly pushing it back behind her ears, even though she doesn't realize that she's even doing it anymore.

But those are just the physical things about her. I'd never admit this, but I like how smart she is, even though she doesn't always show it. The way that she can read all of the emotions in a room and the fact that she knows how I'm feeling from just a single glance. I like that she thinks that she's all tough when I know that she's really just a big softie. I like the fact that I know more about her than anyone else does, even Vic.

I love these things, because without them she just wouldn't be Raven. They are the things that make her her. The little things that no one but me probably notices are all what make her special.

It's not a wonder that I love her. I mean, is it really that hard to believe? Vic keeps telling me to watch myself and not to fall to fast (because I have a really bad habit of doing that) and to take things slow with Raven, but it's not like this is just a fast thing. We've been dating for five months, which is plenty of time, but I liked her before even that. I probably loved her before that and I hadn't even realized it yet.

I shake my head to get rid of these thoughts, even though they aren't bad, just distracting, and get back to the order of business at hand. It would be just like Raven to come earlier than planned. She's a punctual gal, that one.

I get myself a glass of water (as I said before, romancing is hard work) and begin choosing tunes (Led Zeppelin is romantic, I think, and KISS is not) when my phone begins vibrating and ringing like a mofo. I fumble with my cup and almost drop it, murmuring, "Damn," and pull the phone out of my pocket without looking at the caller ID. I'm hoping it's Raven.

"Hello?" I say, and I can hear sirens and the sound of someone crying in the background. What the hell? "Hello?" I say again, slightly panicked this time. I can hear the sirens blaring now. This is bad. This is really bad. I can tell. What if something happened to Rita or Steve? Or Raven. Oh God. My heart just turned in on itself. I don't want to hear what's happening.

"Gar? Gar are you there?" It's Dick. I relax slightly. Okay, maybe I was just over reacting. Maybe something happened at the school, like someone pulled the fire alarm or something. That'd make sense. I calm down.

"Yeah, it's me." I clutch my cup tighter, bracing myself for what's coming next.

"Hey, you've got to get to St. John's, quick."

"Wait, what?" I ask. I can barely understand him because of all of the background noise.

"You need to get to St. John's hospital and quickly. Something's happened."

"What do you mean something's happened? Is it Kori? Is she okay?"

"No," I could hear Dick swallow. "It's not Kori. It's Raven." I knew it. I knew something like this would happen. Why does it seem that every time I love someone they get torn away from me? I drop my cup, water and ice spilling everywhere. "She got into an accident. A car ran into her. Things aren't looking so good right now."

Oh God. Oh God oh God oh God. Oh sweet Jesus. She got into a car accident. Of course. She's never been a fantastic driver anyway, and this is just the cherry on top. "She's being taken to St. John's in downtown right now as we speak. Kori and I are going to be there, and we're calling Vic. Just tell them that you're with me." Oh right. I've never liked Bruce Wayne more than I have in this moment. Thank God that society loves people with money and that just throwing a name around can get you into places that you wouldn't be able to get into otherwise.

"Okay. I'll be there." And I would. I would do anything that I could to see her, to make sure that she was still alive. Because if she died...

No. I wouldn't even go there. I wouldn't even look inside that box. She's not dead and she's not dying. She's going to be alright and alive because medicine has made huge leaps recently and there is no way that I'm letting her die. No way.

I practically sprint outside, keys in my hand, when I realize that I can't use my car because the tire is busted. Shit. Why didn't I just ask Vic to fix it when I had the chance? If I had none of this would have happened. I would have picked her up and we would have gone together. She wouldn't have had to drive herself and she would have been in perfect condition right now.

Or, if fate really had it in the plans for her to get into a car accident tonight, the street that runs by the school runs one way. So that meant that the driver, which if everything had gone according to plan would have been me, would have gotten most of the impact. So she would have been reasonably okay right now. I would have been the one who would have needed the ambulance, not her.

But I can't let myself drown guilt right now. There isn't time for that. I just need to see her. So I do the only reasonable thing that I can. I go and knock on our next door neighbor's house, the Murphy's. The Murphy's are an elderly couple that probably don't use their car for much anyway.

As soon as Mr. Murphy opens the door I start off. "Can I borrow your car? I promise that I won't break it or anything, but it's for a really good cause, and please. I'll mow your lawn for the rest of the years and whatever else you need me to if you just let me use it." Please, please, please, I add silently. I'm hoping that he won't ask many questions and that he'll let me use it. Please.

"What do you need it for, son?" Mr. Murphy asks me, not unkindly. I realize that I probably woke him up, because he's in a bathrobe and slippers.

"My girlfriend, she's going to the hospital and I really need to see her and if I don't I don't know what I'll do because I'll just go crazy and please, Mr. Murphy this is important. I wouldn't be asking you at this time if it wasn't. Please."

Mr. Murphy takes in my what I'm sure is a frantic expression and the tone of my words for a while before nodding. "Yes, you can take it. Just make sure that nothing happens to it." He gives me the keys silently and I'm rushing across his lawn and practically jumping into the car and speed off.

I just need to get there in time. I just need to get there in time. I just need to get there in time. I chant this to myself as a mantra, knowing that if I let myself for one second get off track that my mind will go insane creating images and sounds and words that aren't really happening. And they'll be so dark and nuts that I'll go insane. I'm a really pessimistic person when it comes to accidents like this one.

Not soon enough I'm there, it takes me fifteen minutes to get there, speeding, when if I had stayed at the gym it would have taken me only ten if I went a normal speed, and I'm rushing into the hospital like a mad man. I'm sure I look crazy, but I don't really care.

I get myself to the nearest doctor and start babbling about Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, and Raven Roth. She seems to understand what I'm saying and leads me to Raven's room, and she says that there are people already in there, which I'm thinking is a good sign. She can't be too bad off if people are allowed to see her.

I walk into her room, number two hundred and seven, and I can hear Dick saying my name. "... Gar's already freaking," he's saying.

"Gar?" I hear Raven ask, her voice high and loud, which isn't her normal voice at all. I rush in there as fast as I can, not wanting to make her worry. Her heart monitor is beating at what is probably an unhealthy speed.

I take her hand and ignore the others. This isn't about them. It's about me and Raven. "It's okay," I say soothingly. "I'm here. Everything's going to be alright."

And then something astonishing happens. Raven starts to cry. I've never seen her cry before, and it makes my throat close up. It's just makes her seem so fragile, which is something that doesn't often come to mind when you look at her. Tears are streaming down her face, and that's when I notice the details.

She has three big black stitches along her hairline, and her leg looks like it's in a cast. It's probably broken. She also has lots of bandages on her face, from the glass shattering I'm guessing, and they haven't cleaned all of the grime off her face.

"Oh my God, I thought I was going to die," she blubbers, her tears falling faster. She grips my hand to the point of it being painful, but I would rather the grip be strong than be weak. "It hurt. It hurts to die," she says, and I realize just how drugged up she is. She would never be saying things like this normally.

"Shh, shh..." I tell her, hoping that she'll listen. I don't even want to think about her dying anymore. I've had enough of that for a lifetime. I can tell Raven is trying to calm herself when I hear her mother behind me. I've never heard Arella be this loud, not even that one time that she was drunk and Vic and I saw her and Raven together.

"That's my fucking daughter in there and you bastards had better let me see her. I'm pregnant here, and if you excite me you might just get punched in the face. I have to see her."

I wonder if Raven can hear her mother, but from the way that her eyes are so intent on my face I doubt it. I've never doubted Arella's love for Raven, once she sobered up that is, but I know she doesn't think that her mother cares. After all of the things that I've heard from Raven I would believe it, but hearing her mother scream like that just to see her daughter gets rid of any doubt that remained in my mind.

Arella practically pushes me out of the way, ripping my hand from Raven's. "Raven? Oh Raven, oh honey," she croons. She puts her face in Raven's hair, and I can see the tears in her face. Seeing Raven like this makes her react too. We aren't used to seeing the girl that we both love in this broken down and weak state.

I looked over Arella's shoulder, and I could tell that Raven was panicking. Her eyes are wide and she's looking around wildly for me. I know that this is probably just the drugs, but the fact that she doesn't want me to go warms my stomach. "I've got to go, Raven," I tell her so that she'll calm down. "But I'll be back, I promise."

"Do you promise? Really? You can't tell me that and then not come!" She's practically having a panic attack now. I can't believe that she thinks that I wouldn't come to see her. I'd do anything for this girl with the purple eyes that lets herself think she's so strong when she's just as strong as the rest of us. The girl who thinks of herself as brave, but who is really afraid. "Gar, swear on it!"

"I swear to God that I'll be back. Really. I'll try to be back as soon as you can take visitors. Maybe before that if I can manage it." I mean every word.

"Okay." Raven visibly relaxes, her whole body deflating.

Vic puts his hand on my shoulder. "Come on," he tells me. "We've got to leave."

I turn because I know he's right, because I know that I can't stay with her even though I want to.

Things never go the way I plan.

A/N (again): Well there you go. Chapter Fifteen in Gar's POV, just like some of you requested. I hope it was as good as you imagined, and that it wasn't boring having to reread their conversation.