Ginny Weasley chewed on the end of her quill as she tried extremely hard to concentrate on her homework. The fury of thoughts that was consuming her mind was doing a very good job at distracting her. She turned her attention to her boyfriend who was playing exploding snaps with Ron. Harry Potter, the boy who lived, was Ginny's boyfriend and at time she didn't know why.
She'd always had something akin to a crush on Harry since she'd seen him that day Ron started Hogwarts. The allure of dating a hero had taunted Ginny's curiosity, not to mention over the years Harry grew to be quite the dashing boy. She forever made excuses to be near him and Harry never seemed to notice.
It was during her forth year after a nasty break up with Dean Thomas that Harry caught her as she fell. He was there for her in a time when she desperately needed someone. So, within days there were dating.
Ginny couldn't tell you the first thing about Harry Potter though. In her years of crushing on him she'd never gotten to really know him. So, now dating him she felt no closer to him than her own brothers. Harry doted one her when he had the time of course. He'd tell her she was hot, kiss her like she was a precious stone and hugged her like he never wanted to let her go. And when one day he said he loved her, Ginny only replied because she feared she'd hurt his feelings.
Not to most people knowledge but Ginny's happened to be friends with Draco Malfoy. The charming Slytherin had been in her Muggle Studies class. They wasted many a class annoying the teacher, writing notes and almost failing out of the class. It was Draco who Ginny confined in about her relationship with Harry.
She told him how Harry was extremely uncompromising when it came to things they did together. She ranted to him about how Harry would put her on hold till he was ready to talk. And she virtually blew up to him whenever Harry made her feel like she was last on his priority list. Draco never hesitated in telling her what he though of Harry. He never lied. He always told the truth and earned a smile from Ginny when he did this. Ginny adored how Draco was always there morning, noon and night. He listened to all her complainants without interruption. And when he'd given her every reason why she should break up with Harry, she didn't feel as if he'd said it for his own good but hers.
She would be lying if Ginny had said she like Draco. She harbored such feeling for quite a while but had to squash them. When he asked her out three weeks later, she hadn't hesitated to say yes. He kissed her cheek and that had sealed the deal.
Harry was hot with rage, anyone could tell but Boy Wonder did nothing. He was nothing more than a sulking mess when Ginny saw him. He did his best to make her jealous with Cho Chang but it merely made Ginny laugh at his childishness. Ron wasn't too happy with her either. He stopped talking to Ginny all together but Ginny couldn't have cared less. Draco made her happier than Harry ever did. She felt first in his world. She knew she meant something to Draco and she liked that. Over the months she date him during her 5th year Ginny grew to honestly love Draco.
She loved how he listened to her. She adored when he hugged her for no reason. She blushed when he called her beautiful. Every nickname, kiss, word or smile from him sent Ginny soaring on cloud nine. The smile that graced her lips in his presence was a smile only ever for him. To others he seemed childish, mean, inconsiderate and rude but Ginny saw his caring, gentle and intellectual side. She felt lucky to be his and have his love.
Somewhere along the way the outside world invaded Ginny's. The Draco she loved was so cold and distant with her at times that Ginny hated him for it. Problems at home had him taking it out on Ginny and she wouldn't have it. There was a week of pure torture when they broke up. They still met in their secret places though. He still hugged her with those protective arms she loved. She still took any chance she could get to talk to him. And soon they were together again. They made an effort to solve their problems and for a while it worked.
Somehow though Draco seemed to make Ginny feel useless, as if her every attempt to cheer him up failed. And if it ever did work, she never knew because Draco never told her. She felt like somehow she wasn't good enough for him and it tore her apart. When it came down to the wire they end up apart again. Ginny cried herself to sleep that night.
She told herself he could do better than her. She was nothing amazing to care about. There were prettier girls than her. She though she was doing the right thing, so why did it hurt so much. Why did she still cry at night over him? Why did she sleep with the bear he gave her? And why, when he found someone new did it feel like her whole world came crashing down around her. She told him she was happy for him but it was quite possibly the biggest lie she ever told.
She tried for weeks to move on. She started talking to Harry again and a made a best friend in Luna Lovegood. She thought she was over him. When they talked occasionally, Ginny thought she felt nothing for him but she was only lying to her self. It took Hermione, Luna, Colin and Dean to open her eyes. They saw what she didn't, hidden in her own heart. They knew the real reason she cried when he told her he didn't want to be friends anymore. They recognized what she was hiding when his name was brought up in conversation. They saw it as bright as the sun glaring in Ginny's face. Ginny was still very much in love with Draco Malfoy.
This brings us full circle to our story beginning. Ginny never finished her work for that day. She pondered what to do about Harry. She knew he noticed her odd behavior since they started dating. He asked her only hours before what she was hiding from him. Later that night Harry found her lounging on a common room couch and he asked her t tell him what was going on. Ginny hadn't the energy to lie to him anymore. She told him he had to break up with her and that it wasn't right to continue dating him. Harry asked her why because he didn't understand. She explained that she was still in love with Draco and had been since they'd started dating. Harry was silent then and nodded. He told Ginny he knew all along and he'd hoped she'd choose him over Draco. He was aware of how she felt all along but still asked her back out hoping she'd learn to love him. Ginny looked down at her hands and mumbled sorry. Harry only stood up and stared coldly down at her. He told her now she knew how it felt to love someone you can't have and he left.
Ginny cried because he was right. Draco was with Pansy and had been for almost two months now. Ginny hated her only for being with him and she didn't care how shallow that was. Back in her room she destroyed it beyond muggle repair but with a flick of her want it was clean once more. She didn't bother going to class the next day.
Somewhere along the way she talked to Draco. They fought only hours before but Ginny almost begged him to stay her friend. When he asked her why she couldn't forget him, she told him because she loved him. He listened as she explained her motives behind the last four months. She doubted he believed her but she felt he needed to know.
She knew it was too late now but she felt…she knew she would never love anyone else like she did Draco. He was one in a million and no one could fill his place in her heart. She made sure he knew she would wait forever for him because to her he was worth it all. She doubted even more that Draco was aware of the torture of a life Ginny was going through without him. There are days she could fake a smile to perfection but at times it hurt to hide. It felt as if only in his presence that she felt whole. Only Draco sparked a true smile or laugh from her but Ginny knew he wasn't aware.
Ginny sat in her room now, writing in her journal. She'd cautiously taken up the pastime only after having Hermione okay the book. Robbie sat in front of her as if watching her write and she smiled at the stuffed bear. She turned the page and continued her thoughts:
"There aren't enough days I count as to how long I'll wait. Even if each day feels longer than the last, I wouldn't give up theses feeling for nothing in the world. I don't ever regret falling for him. I'll wait forever..."
Ginny closed her journal and put it away. She picked up Robbie from the end of her bed hugging him to her. She swore at times she could smell the faint aroma of Draco on him. She crawled into bed, Robbie by her side. As her eyes closed in sleep, forever was on her lips