Hah! So, the first one is Weakness, and the sequel is Strength… geddit?

WARNING: If you haven't read my story Weakness, you will be SO CONFUSED very soon. It's just a little twoshot—go read it!

OTHER WARNING: This is going to be in the upper range of T-rated fics. Think Kitsune Heart—no actual smut, but LOTS of implications. (No offense to Kit, since her fics are amazing and this is going to be a buttload of crap.)

LAST WARNING: I am sort of making this up as I go along. This will be the stereotypical Trouble-Kelp-is-trying-to-wreck-Holly-and-Arty's-relationship fic. Half A/H fluff, half Holly and Trubs fistfighting.

Don't read this fic unless you like the emotional-er, slightly sadistic Arty.

Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl. I just like to embarrass him.

~~ILoveFowl

P.S. One more little warning: remember this is after TAC and before TLG, because I really don't like TLG. Except for the cricket scene. And Gruff. Duh.

"I can't talk for too long, Trouble, I've got to go to Fowl Manor soon." …Ohmigods, I'm gonna see Arty, I'm gonna see Arty, ohmigods…

"I understand perfectly, Holly, this won't take long."

She frowned, leaning against the wall. "So, what do you want to ask me?" She had a sneaking suspicion that she knew what he wanted, and she had no idea how to refuse.

Kelp ran a hand through his overlong hair. "Well, I was wondering… if maybe you wanted to go out. On a date. This Friday."

Deep breaths. You can do this. Just dilute the truth, don't lie, and do NOT give any real information. "Well… I can't. I'm kind of with someone else."

He notched an eyebrow. "Who?"

Gulp. "You don't know him." Technically true. Ish. Depends on the definition of "know."

"Since when?"

Okay, now lie. "Last week." Saying 'last month' would arouse suspicion. Duh.

Trouble scowled for a while, obviously not happy with this turn of events. "How serious is it?"

Holly couldn't help it. Honestly. One moment she was calm and collected, next she was grinning like a complete moron. "Um… we're pretty serious." She checked her watch. "Really, Trouble. I have to go see Arty."

Maybe, if she hadn't said that last word, all the future events could have been avoided. But upon hearing the pet name, Kelp's suspicions were aroused, and a seed of doubt was planted in his mind. It was completely possible. Everything fit; the two of them were close, Holly was impatient, she was turning down his advances. He surveyed her outfit briefly. Light-wash jeans and a royal blue, slim-fitting t-shirt. Nothing abnormal to your average elf, but more feminine than what Holly usually preferred.

He hid his thoughts well. "Fine. Go."

The seed only grew further when the younger elf turned and sprinted down the hallway, never once looking back.

Foaly looked up at the knock on the door. No one had an appointment, Holly was already 15 minutes gone, and he was about to leave himself. He opened the door, and was mildly surprised to see Trouble Kelp standing there. "Ah, our esteemed Commander. What do you need?"

"Ritual. Yes, I know it's early in the day, but I'm treating myself. I'm going off LEP time, so no helmet, no equipment, and I'm flying as far as I can." Hopefully, Foaly would have bigger things on his mind than checking the officers' suit locators.

"I'll get you a pod. Have fun, bossman."

Kelp walked out of the Ops booth, smirking. He didn't realize it, but his expression was reminiscent of one Artemis Fowl.

Artemis spun idly in his swivel chair. He was unable to concentrate on hacking US government sites, so he had been reduced to childish pastimes such as this.

Ten minutes. She should be here within ten minutes.

Calm down.

Where is she?

He turned back to his desk and reached for his communicator, but something stopped him. Not a sound, or a smell. He didn't catch sight of her out of the corner of his eye. He just knew. Knew that the most wonderful person in the world was in the room with him. Kicking gently at the floor, he pushed himself around so that he faced the window. Or not the window, exactly—the individual next to it.

For a moment, Holly and Artemis just gazed at each other.

Then, without breaking eye contact, Holly slipped off her wings, laid them on the floor, crossed the room, leaving the window open, and clambered into is lap, laying her head on his chest and sighing as all the tension of the past month drained from her body. He put his arms around her, kissing her head and marveling at how easy this was. There were no awkward silences, no uneasy touches. It came more naturally than friendship.

The elf said something into his shirt.

"What was that?"

She lifted her head. "I said, I love you."

"I knew that already."

"…But the fact that I love you will not keep me from hitting you. You have been warned."

There was a moments silence. Then Holly's head shot away from him, clipping his chin and causing him to bite his tongue. "Ouch!"

"What did you just say?!"

"Ouch?"

"Before that!" Her tone was frenzied.

"'I knew that already.'"

The LEP captain gaped at him. "Say it again."

"I knew that already."

"Artemis… Arty, that's…."

"Four words. I know."

"And so was that!" She clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle a squeal. "Arty! You never said…"

He smiled. "I wanted to surprise you."

"Well, you managed that! What about Orion?"

His smile changed into a full grin. "Orion who?"

Her response was an earsplitting shriek. "Finally!" Holly threw her arms around the human's neck and kissed him. Passionately. Teasing her tongue into his mouth, playing with his. Rising onto her knees to get a better angle.

He pulled away, and she pouted. "Not fair. Get back down here."

Artemis smirked, then rose, carrying her bridal-style to the bed. Holly thumped his chest in indignance, but there was no heart behind it. She loved how passively dominant he was. He knew how to rile her up, but he also knew when to back off.

"You are frighteningly light," he whispered in her ear. "Have you been eating lately?"

"Way to kill the mood, Fowl," she said sarcastically.

He laid her down on the pillows, grabbed her wrists, and pinned her down. "But," he murmered, "I can bring the mood back to life just as easily."

"Oh, really?"

Artemis didn't reply. Unless leaning down and beginning to lick Holly's ears counted as an answer.

Trouble Kelp flew quickly toward Fowl Manor, mere minutes behind Short. His imagination was going into overdrive, imagining what he might find. The manor came into view. One window was open. Three guesses.

He approached cautiously, listening carefully. Holly's voice floated out onto the breeze.

"Oh, really?" Her tone was tinged with amusement and something else. Possibly seductiveness. Checking his shield, Trouble crept closer and sat on the windowsill, soundlessly powering down his wings and thanking the gods that he had managed to snag one of the whisper models. Then he looked into the room, and his heart stopped.

Fowl was holding her to his bed by her wrists, exerting an impossible dominance over the stubborn Captain. She was breathing heavily, eyes shining up at the Mud Boy, obviously waiting for something.

The 'something' came. Fowl smirked, then leaned down and licked her ear from lobe to tip.

Holly screamed, arching against the human even as her entire body shook. Fowl took the end of her ear between his lips and sucked hard, and the elf appeared to go insane, shrieking Artemis's name over and over, begging incomprehensibly. He removed his mouth from her skin and her cries became distinguishable.

"Please, Arty, please, I want you!" She grabbed his wine-colored silk shirt, dragging him on top of her and capturing his lips in a ferocious kiss.

However bad the situation that Kelp expected to find, this was a million times worse. Surely not. Surely they haven't... But yes, they clearly had—without hesitation, Holly was unbuttoning Fowl's shirt. Impossible! There has to be a law against this! But even as he thought it, he realized there wasn't, and his heart sank. Fairies accepted racial and sexual diversity—in theory. In reality, the Council was not going to be happy about this. But he would need to have proof—and "I followed her and spied" wasn't going to go over well. Holly would have to make a mistake.

Trouble glanced back inside the window, and felt like puking. Holly had inverted their position and was now sitting on Fowl's bare chest. She ran her fingers over his pectorals. Or, more accurately, where his pectorals should have been.

"Gods, you're scrawny," she muttered.

He grinned back at her. "Only parts of me are."

"Why should I believe that? Even if you were below average human size, you'd still be freaking enormous to me, so…"

"Why don't we measure?"

Holly laughed. "Yuck!"

"Okay, maybe not." The Irishman slid his hands under Holly's shirt and began lifting it.

I should leave now, Trouble thought. I really should.

He stayed.

An hour or so later, Holly lay against Artemis's chest. She was wearing his shirt, which came halfway down her thighs, and nothing else. He was in boxer shorts. Neither of the had spoken since they finished.

She broke the silence first. "I need to tell you something."

Artemis groaned, and rolled them onto their sides. He buried his head in the crook of her shoulder. "Of course, wait until after we have sex to tell me you can't see me anymore."

She laughed, elbowing him. "It's not like that!"

"Then it can wait," he urged, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Wait until what?"

"Later."

"If I told you Opal was going to destroy the world in 24 hours, would you let me say that now?"

"You would have mentioned that before we had sex."

"…Is everything measured in BS and AS now?"

"Yes."

"Trouble asked me out."

This did not generate the reaction from her Fowl that she had hoped for, but it did cause the fairy hidden on the windowsill to jump slightly.

"Did he now," Artemis murmured around a mouthful of Holly's neck. "And you said?"

Holly tried to remember, but his lips on her skin were very distracting. "Um."

Artemis raised himself onto one forearm and leaned over her. "You said 'um?'"

Holly headbutted his chest. "No."

"No, you didn't say 'um,' or no, you said no?"

"Both."

"Good. I would hate to have to vow revenge."

Holly chuckled. "Like you would do that."

Artemis feigned hurt. "Of course I would. I do anything I want to."

The innuendo was not lost on the LEP captain. "And what do you want?"

"You."

"You just had me. I mean what do you want right-hey! No! Off, dammit!" Holly pulled his wriggling fingers away from her stomach. "That's it. I'm getting dressed."

Artemis watched as she crawled away. When she neared the edge, he reached out and oh so gently touched the bare sole of her foot.

Holly shrieked, flailed, and fell off the bed.

The boy genius leaned over, inspecting her prostrate form with a high degree of amusement. "That reaction was... interesting."

"Don't," she spluttered, rising of the floor, "even," she dusted off her arms, "think about it!" She spat this at her lover with such intensity that he flinched.

"Come now, Holly," he purred, leaning back on the bed and staring at the ceiling to give her some modicum of privacy while she changed. "I haven't gotten anywhere near your feet yet, and I am so curious..."

She bit her lip and closed her eyes, trying to ignore the wheedling tone of his voice. "No," she repeated.

But her word held no bite, and Artemis knew the battle was won. "Come back up," he pleaded, stretching his arms toward her. "I won't attack instantly, I promise."

She snorted, then threw his shirt and pants at him. He donned them without complaint, then reached for his elf again.

"I'm coming," she said, trying to be annoyed at his eagerness.

"I wish," he muttered into her ear as she settled her back on his chest.

Holly froze, then laughed. "Perv."

"I think I retain the right to be," he pointed out, pushing her off himself and rising over her on his elbows. He kissed her temples, then her cheeks.

She made a frustrated noise. "I knew you had bad aim, but really. You can't even kiss me without missing a few times first?"

Artemis gave her a deadpan look. "What if just don't want to kiss you, hmm?"

"Then you're stupid."

"True," he replied, and kissed her.

Holly sighed as his lips met hers, as she always did. This kiss was gentler than most they had shared, so she could pay more attention to what was happening around her, rather than having her mind blown out the metaphorical window. Artemis was lowering his body down over her, stroking her upper arms. How sweet, she mused, he wants to just touch me. He laid his shins over her legs, effectively pinning hers down, and his hands left her arms and moved down her body... wait.

Artemis had wondered how long it would take her to realize what was happening, and her reaction time was commendable. She squirmed, breaking her mouth away from his, and he sat back, grabbing her ankles. "Too late, my dear."

Holly shot upright, yanking on his elbows, but he had a death grip on her legs. "Artemis, I an not kidding. Let. Go."

"No."

"You damned smug little... let go!" She was desperate, he could tell. Weakened by excitement that she was trying to turn into fear. His left little finger strayed backward and stroked the side of her foot just once. Holly threw herself forcefully backward, slamming herself against the mattress. Her body, he knew, was instinctively trying to distract itself from the sensations being forced upon it. He took advantage of her inability to restrain him, taking both hands from her calves and stroking the soles of her feet with his fingers.

Trouble had heard of this condition. Nerve saturation or some such. There were treatments, but they had only been developed lately, and very likely Holly didn't know about them. The disorder was most common in females, unfortunately for them-the brushing of long hair against the ears at inopportune moments was a frequent scenario.

And he had always assumed Holly had a crew cut for tomboyish reasons.

A multitude of little incidents came back to him. Holly paying unusual attention to her posture in a crowded room. Holly squirming awkwardly during a hug. Holly nearly breaking another elf's nose when he tried to jokingly tweak her ear. All the pieces were there.

Trouble really, really hated Artemis Fowl.

Holly was enjoying a brief respite. She lay, spread-eagled and sweaty, underneath Artemis, trying to glare at him and blushing whenever her would-be angry gaze met his teasing, happy one. "You are..."

"I am?"

"Infuriating. Sadistic. Smart. Vindictive."

He kissed her forehead. "And you, my dear, are sweet, lovable, adorable, and ridiculously ticklish."

She blushed.

"And currently you bear a striking resemblance to Julius Root..."

Holly laughed and tried to hit him. Artemis grabbed her wrists with one hand and held them above her head. "Ah-ah-ah. No." He laid his hand along her ribcage, curling the fingers around her back. The message was clear: I have you at checkmate.

She tried to voice her feelings to the man she loved, but couldn't, quite. "I feel so..."

"So what?" he leaned down and nuzzled her neck, making her squirm.

She tried again, haltingly. "So vulnerable. But I like it. It's like the kidnapping-I know you can do whatever you want with me-but I trust you."

For a moment, they simply lay in silence, contemplating the momentousness of the words Holly had just spoken. They had what others had only dreamed of-love. Fragile yet neverending. Breathtaking yet grounding. To be forever bonded to another person, but more than that, to have them bonded to you. To know that always, always, there was someone to turn to.

Holly laughed. "Artemis?"

"Hm?"

She tugged her wrists out of his grip, and held up her arms to him. "I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you."

He smirked. "And I love you... may I kidnap you again?"

"Absolutely. We may have to make the bed downstairs a little bigger, however."

"And perhaps built-in handcuffs?"

Amazed, the elf gaped up at him. "Good gods, what have I done to you?"

"You have completely corrupted me," he said in a low growl. "And I am enjoying," he poked her lowest rib, "every," he squeezed her knee, "minute." He moved his fingers back toward her feet.

Luckily for Holly, his weight was not pressing down on her legs quite so much anymore. She wriggled out of his grip and crawled (if it can be called crawling when one is moving so fast) underneath the navy blue comforter.

Her lover's muffled, mock-irritated voice came from above. "You know this will be worse if I have to chase you."

"You know I can deal with it."

He didn't reply, but his skepticism hung heavy in the air. Artemis lifted the end of the blanket and began a stare-down with the elf. He lifted a hand and crooked one finger. Come here.

She raised a cocky eyebrow. Come and get me.

He smirked. As you wish.

Holly, eyes wide, tried to scoot further away from him, but was unable to. The bed ended where she was sitting. She was as far as she was going to get.

She was incredibly excited.

She was horribly terrified.

He lunged.

The elf was shrieking pleas before the human got anywhere close, but they all rang hollow. He dragged her out from under the goose-feather comforter and held her easily aloft, arms tight around her, fingers teasing her sides. Then he spun her around, throwing his elf easily onto the bed and leaping after her, grabbing one of Holly's ankles before she could escape entirely, and pulling her back toward him. He pinned her toes down with his thumbs and scratched her insoles with his nails. Watching his lover squirm was amusing beyond belief, but the real joy was in her laugh.

Holly had the lightest, most wonderful laugh he had ever heard-even when her shrieks were being dragged out of her by his fingers. In fact, that was better, because then he had complete control over them. He could dance his hands over her taut stomach, and actually feel her slightly strangled peals shudder out of her; he could just barely graze his fingertips around her knees, and listen to her musical giggles. Or, as he did now, he could simply attack her feet, over and over, and watch as she struggled, while the most angelic scream he had ever heard issued from her lips.

And when her helpless voice began to drive him insane, he abandoned the whole venture and just kissed her.

Which she really enjoyed.

Trouble was not amused. This was ridiculous. Crazy. A human and an elf... going at it... would anger the general community beyond words.

But Holly was a good officer. Fowl had simply... misled her. He glanced back in the window. The two of them were obviously heading toward round two, and he did not want to stick around for the show. Or be discovered. Kelp kicked off the window and headed, top-speed, toward site 57. A quick Ritual, then back to Haven to formulate his game plan. This abomination would not continue.