A/N: This idea came to me while I was writing my Valentine's prompt fic, and also recalling the moment when Anna did Gwen the favour by keeping quiet about her interview: "Did you cover for me?" "What do you think?" I really love Anna and Gwen's friendship, and wanted to do something kind of different with this, seeing Anna and John's relationship from another perspective.
I had intended for this to be a one-shot but a couple of other things came to me. It'll be more obviously Banna focused in time, don't worry :)
I don't own Downton Abbey or any of its characters.
Gwen stifled a yawn for the countless time that morning, quickly retrieving the edge of the bedcover that had fallen from her grasp. She would have to come to her senses quickly enough. Her sleep last night had been erratic; she thought she had heard footsteps and movements in the corridor during the early hours that roused her, and it had transpired at breakfast that one of the younger maids had had an unsettling dream. It had been over a year and yet the unfortunate tale of Mr Kemal Pamuk still resonated around the house; Daisy had been troubled lately too. When the knock that signalled the dawning of another day rapped on the door, she sat up to notice that the bed next to hers was empty, the covers having neatly been drawn back and rearranged, Anna's nightgown laying folded on top. She must have been called upon to soothe Lily, the girl who experienced the nightmare. Even if it wasn't within her duties as head housemaid, Anna still would have been the first to offer a comforting shoulder and calming word, her easy nature a balm to everyone. Gwen recalled when she herself had found it difficult to settle at Downton; Anna was the friend that she had needed so much, helping her to adjust to life at the big house. Eight years on, and they remained the closest of confidants within the quarters.
A low grumble from her stomach broke the silence in the room, and Gwen was at once embarrassed and reminded of how quite hungry she was, having had to skip most of breakfast. She stole a longing look at Lady Sybil's biscuit jar, still full to the top.
"Excuse me," she said as a reflex. There wasn't a reply, and she glanced up from adjusting the covers, the pull from the other side having lessened considerably.
It was always easier to get through a challenging morning when she chatted with Anna as they went, often sharing amusing anecdotes that would both make them laugh and forget about the monotony of their work. This morning Anna was very quiet, barely having said many words at all as they had gone from each of the Crawley girls' rooms. Her expression was set, but she didn't seem too downcast as Gwen looked at her. The fog that she was accustomed to each morning would have dissipated by now; she was right as rain once she'd had two cups of tea over breakfast, alongside some conversation from a certain other member of the staff. Gwen had seen as she gulped down her own cup of tea that Anna and Mr Bates had sat marginally closer in their seats next to one another this morning, and Anna had been engrossed in every unheard word he had been saying to her. She had even been smiling then, before the bells had rung and interrupted the brief morning's peace.
There was a frown marking Anna's brow now, ducking out of sight as she bowed her head to tuck the sheets tightly. Perhaps she had been occupied with concerned thoughts of Lily, who was likely to be let go soon enough, or it might have been something Lady Mary had said – Anna was the only one of the servants that she confided in, and sometimes the troubles of another world could weigh her down, a little unfairly Gwen thought, but not that Anna could very well say otherwise.
"Penny for them?" she offered kindly to her friend, a sincere smile lighting her eyes. Thinking of Anna feeling troubled for some reason troubled her too.
Anna smiled back, giving a small shrug of her shoulders, seeming a little surprised that her mood had been noticed.
"It's nothing," she was quick to brush off, smoothing her hands over the covers on the bed. "I need to go and get some cotton and supplies to fix a dress of Lady Mary's that she wants to wear for a dinner. I thought I was organised, but I'm clearly losing my touch. Not to mention my mind."
"I'm sure she won't mind, her wardrobe must be fit to bursting." Gwen did her best to reassure Anna, who still looked fairly perturbed. She didn't encounter her that much, but she imagined that Lady Mary would not take kindly to a suggestion that differed from her own. But if anyone could persuade her, it would be Anna. "If you're really desperate, you could ask Miss O'Brien if she has some spare?"
Anna grimaced at that. "Lady Mary's fashion choices are not worth getting my head bitten off for. Not after the last time I so much as enquired about a spare button to fit Lady Sybil's blouse."
Gwen chuckled, being witness to that encounter, and the deadly stare that Mr Bates had fixed the sour lady's maid with when she had snapped at Anna.
"You'll find a way," she noted cheerily, scooting quickly around the side of the bed. Anna looked at her puzzledly, and then lifted the lid from the biscuit jar when she realised Gwen's intentions. Gwen let out a hasty 'thank you' before she gobbled two of the sugar coated biscuits.
The matter was clearly not resolved; if anything, it had worsened in her mind as Anna exhaled a sigh. Before Gwen could enquire, she was forthcoming with the truth of the matter, replacing the glass lid with a heavy clink.
"Mr Bates is going to Thirsk this week, to get some things for his Lordship's trip to London. He mentioned that perhaps, if I had some time, I would care to join him for the afternoon."
Gwen could feel that her mouth was hanging ajar. The idea she had was rather bold, and Mr Bates was nothing but a perfect gentleman – especially to Anna – but she had to wonder if this might have meant something. To Anna, it was clearly significant enough to tell a fib initially.
"I so wanted to tell him that I would, but my next half day isn't until the week after next, and by that time he'll already be away in London with his Lordship." Anna's gaze lowered as she wondered temporarily whether to take a seat at the edge of the newly made-up bed. She refrained. "It doesn't matter much, there will be other times I suppose. But it would be nice, given that spring has arrived at last…it's such a lovely place to be when everything is budding."
And she was sure that the flowers starting on the trees weren't all that would be enchanting to Anna. Gwen recognised the same soft look blooming in her friend's eyes that was always apparent whenever she thought of Mr Bates, the same smile starting to overtake her features. There had been a mutual fondness between them since his arrival, that much had been clear to note. But recently that fondness had seemed to grow, and it also appeared that something had changed about Anna, in something as simple as the way she carried herself from day to day. Perhaps the others hadn't noticed it, but Gwen had. The way that when she didn't quite realise she was doing it, Anna would smile at herself in the small mirror, carefully adjusting her hair beneath her cap and straightening her apron before going downstairs in the morning. It was something that Gwen didn't recognise within herself, but in Anna it was unmistakable, and it made her happy to see.
Anna turned back into the room and away from her, her smile a little more wistful before she forced it away from her face. Bundling up the sheets that had been changed in her arms, she gave Gwen another glance to say that she was alright, really. It was nothing that couldn't wait.
Gwen had been meaning to return the favour Anna had done her by covering for her while she set out on what was to be her unsuccessful interview some months ago now. She had the idea that she would maybe buy her a box of chocolates on her next trip into Ripon, but the gesture seemed too small and not nearly equal to the kindness Anna was always quick enough to show. It was obvious to her that this would be ideal.
"Tell Mr Bates yes at luncheon," she said with a firmness that wouldn't be misconstrued between friends. "I'll think of something, and mention it to Mrs Hughes. Of all people, she wouldn't begrudge you the time."
Anna's countenance brightened immediately, though Gwen could tell she was trying hard not to be too enthusiastic. She nodded her head to tell her that she really did have reason to be, at least once she had things sorted with Mrs Hughes.
"Gwen, that's too much…I couldn't ask it of you." She fiddled with the sheets still held in her hands, the picture of humility.
"Of course you can," Gwen replied in the next second, "after all you have done for me in these years, not to mention for everyone else too, an afternoon out is the least that can be offered."
Anna smiled, shaking her head to disregard the truth gently.
"Not that you would, but you can't breathe a word. I can just imagine what the dastardly duo would be like if they got wind."
Gwen couldn't hold back a chuckle at that. "Cross my heart," she made the action upon her green day dress, "you can rely on me. Only if you won't argue against what I've said."
The look in her eyes said that Anna wouldn't relent, as well as the smile that settled upon her face. As they carried out the rest of their work, she giggled at its unrelenting presence.
"You'll have to tell me something terrible, else they'll all wonder what's got into me, grinning like a fool."
Gwen laughed, wondering that whatever she could come up with wouldn't be enough to stifle Anna's joy.
The rest of the morning went by very quickly indeed.
The clock was ticking away, and Gwen was compelled to keep staring at it from the corner of her eye, heat beginning to rise up through her from her feet. It was getting perilously closer to the time that all of the family would require dressing for dinner and as yet there was no sign of either Anna or Mr Bates. She started to get feverish with anxiety, awful imaginings entering her head of some terrible accident from the way back from Thirsk. Or perhaps the hours had just run away without them noticing, the sunshine and spring air carrying them along happily. It was not like either of them to not be mindful but being together, away from the house, was bound to have some kind of effect and their minds would not likely be the primary thing affected.
She felt the ever watchful gaze of Mrs Hughes on her, and gave a polite smile as she rose from her seat, hoping that she didn't appear too flustered. A couple of days ago she had told the housekeeper that Anna had received word from her sister that she had been afflicted with a rather bad fever, and would need some things fetching as well as liking the company for a short while. As expected, Mrs Hughes acceded immediately, taking Anna aside and saying of course she could go, and she didn't know why she hadn't come to her directly. There had been no questioning whatsoever, given Anna's faultless reputation, although at this very moment Gwen didn't fully trust herself to let everything out if she was met with another of Mrs Hughes's gently enquiring looks. To that end, she hurried her steps along.
Seconds after she had gone out into the hallway, she made out the sound of Anna's heeled boots clicking rapidly against the hard floor, her jog slowing to a fast walk. Her fair skin had taken on a ruddier appearance, cheeks shining and flushed, and she was fixing her hat more securely upon her head when she stopped in front of Gwen, not too far outside the servants' hall.
"Where have you been?" Gwen couldn't refrain from enquiring, her tone more amused by Anna's demeanour than stern in any way. "You had me going sick with worry."
"The earlier bus went without us, only by seconds," Anna huffed, her breath still short, making her voice higher and wispy. "We couldn't very well run to catch up with it, so we had to wait for the next."
Through her fluster, a smile was playing at the corners of Anna's mouth, making her seem to glow within the dimness of the hallway. She evaded Gwen's gaze for a moment, fumbling with the handles of her purse as she smirked down at the floor, and Gwen's own heart started to thud with excitement for her friend.
In the next moment, Anna was out of her brief reverie and back to her senses.
"I'd better go and change," as she spoke, she was unfastening the buttons on her light jacket. "Mr Bates is waiting outside for me to go up first."
They had kept their voices low, but Mrs Hughes had been alerted to Anna's presence back in the house. She appeared at Gwen's shoulder, giving the younger maid a bit of a start when she spoke suddenly.
"Anna, I am glad to see you back." Her tone was soft, her smile genuine and laced with concern. "How is your sister doing?"
"Oh, yes." Gwen watched as Anna started to nod her head, shaking off her temporary hesitation and fixing Mrs Hughes with a clear-eyed gaze. "I mean, she's getting there, thank you Mrs Hughes. I think she was glad of a familiar face."
"You do know that you could have stayed longer if it was needed. Your duties don't only lie with this family, that's for sure."
Gwen and Anna shared a smile; the order of importance Mrs Hughes had was quite different from Mr Carson's, and for that they were grateful she was in charge of them.
"She assured me she'd be quite alright. But thank you all the same, Mrs Hughes, I appreciate it ever so much," Anna said brightly.
"It's no bother," the brusqueness of her Scottish brogue had been clipped back, replaced by warmth. "Now, we'd all be getting on. Time to put them first again."
Anna and Gwen nodded and smiled at the housekeeper before she turned to enter back into the hall. Gwen hung for a few moments at the doorway, and Anna caught her hand before she made to ascend the stairs to their quarters.
"Thank you," she uttered simply, her eyes conveying more of the depth of her gratitude as she looked at her friend intently.
Touched and feeling happy and accomplished, Gwen returned Anna's gratitude with a sincere smile. There was really no need for her to say it, not with all the favours and secrets that had passed between them over the years, both small and more significant. Anna really was like the sister she never had, and she imagined that there couldn't have been a better one on offer. Still, she could see in her gaze that this had been especially important to Anna, so she accepted it with the same grace as Anna had shown.
Moments later, Mr Bates's arrival was denoted by the steady tap of his cane making its way along the hallway. Gwen caught his eye as he passed by the door of the hall and offered him a small smile, which was promptly matched. He wasn't always the most social of people, but he was always perfectly amiable, unless the situation called for something else. His eyes seemed livelier as he looked at her, and she had to wonder whether Anna had told him of the part she had had to play in today's proceedings.
Gwen noticed that, in the next moment, Mr Bates's lips had curved upward in the type of smile she had certainly never seen him wearing before, his eyes directed to the top of the stairs. She had not needed to look to know that Anna was standing up there, casting a bright glance down towards him before she coasted away.
It had remained fine that evening; the sun had been streaming through into the hall much to the chagrin of Mr Carson who had to squint through dinner, his spot at the head of the table most directly affected by the beaming rays of light. Leaving the other maids chatting, Gwen decided that she would step outside to enjoy the remainder of sunshine before it set for the night. The first days of spring could be welcomed even in the relative confines of the house, and it would be nice to feel warmth on her face after months of biting chill that had made it sting sharply. She also figured that a spot of fresh air would be a good aid to helping her sleep more restfully.
She was about to wander in the direction that would bring her to the very edge of the grounds from the servants' side when she heard sounds coming from the other end of the courtyard. Hushed voices that complimented each other in their distinct tones, light laughter that was instantly recognisable as belonging to her roommate.
Gwen scuttled to shield herself against a post just a little away from the door, slightly further along to where Anna and Mr Bates were situated, his figure towering above hers. They looked entirely comfortable, both seeming more relaxed in their postures than they did when they had to sit rather stiffly inside. She realised that Anna and Mr Bates would often disappear from the hall after dinner on certain nights, not for very long each time. This must have been where they came to. She leant out by a mere inch and observed that the pair were now standing closer together, their shadows merging into one on the cobbled ground.
It wasn't too hard to hear snatches of their conversation. Anna was giggling at a greater rate, almost bent double with the way she was raucously laughing. Gwen could see that Mr Bates was looking ever so fondly at Anna, his lips pursed and face growing red as he tried not to burst into hysterics himself.
"I didn't know you could be so terrible, Mr Bates," she was chiding, "Teasing me over the way I run, indeed."
Mr Bates let out a chortle that echoed. "I wasn't teasing you. I found it very endearing."
Anna's neck was craned upwards, hands placed lightly on her hips. "That's just a way of not sounding cruel. I think we're at the point where we can be honest with each other, no matter what the repercussions are."
His expression seemed to shadow at that, and Gwen saw that Anna reached her arm up towards his face. She was a little shocked at her friend's actions, even in the apparent privacy of the moment, and she wasn't sure whether she should have found it more surprising when Mr Bates circled Anna's hand in his before it could reach to touch his skin.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." Anna made her apology measuredly, a hint of regret apparent in her voice. "I just forget sometimes. As silly as that sounds."
"You should never say sorry. I wish I could forget about all that has gone before me."
It was evident by her voice that Anna was smiling through a quickly cast sorrow. "I do, and yet I don't. Because it has made you who you are today. And I can never want to change that."
Mr Bates seemed somewhat admonished, as though he was going to say something to counter Anna's words, but he thought better of it and instead smiled at her with the same soft eyes he had used only seconds before.
"Today was wonderful," he uttered instead, low enough that Gwen was only just able to make it out.
"It truly was," Anna replied, shifting herself on her heels nearer still to Mr Bates, his frame now open to her. "I'm so glad we were granted the luck of it, before you go away." She paused, making the silence swallowing and Gwen feeling extremely guilty for the fact she had not yet departed, leaving their moment sacred to them. A sigh sounded out on the air. "I hardly need to say it, but I'll miss you. Dreadfully."
"You should try not to," Mr Bates answered gently.
Anna's shoulders slumped, and she seemed smaller in the light that was falling away rapidly. Gwen's heart sank for her companion and she wanted to give her a reassuring hug. It was a relief and a delight when she saw that Mr Bates had closed his arms delicately around Anna's figure, wrapping her up in an embrace that did not speak of lovers' passion but went past the realm of friendship in its tender quality. Anna's hands hugged around Mr Bates as she raised herself up on her tiptoes, and he gathered her up closer, his head rested against her and eyes scrunched tightly shut like he wasn't willing to let the moment or Anna go.
Gwen was all at odds. She wouldn't divulge how Anna and Mr Bates's relationship had furthered; that much was true before she had seen the sight she had just witnessed. She hoped for the best for them against what she feared could be the worst, and that they wouldn't fall prey to the harsher side of Thomas and Miss O'Brien's plotting. Whatever they might have said, she knew that this wasn't anything untoward or wrong. Her heart had never been warmed so much to see the two of them, sharing in such a special moment, oblivious to the world except for each other. God knows they all needed escape and solace, a remnant of joy in their otherwise monotonous lives, and Gwen was very pleased that Anna and Mr Bates had found more than that in one another, letting out their emotions at last.
The moment when their heads moved closer together was the moment when Gwen turned to go back inside, careful to be silent and not casting another look back into the hastening night.
"So, did I miss much while I was away today?"
Anna was sitting in front of the small mirror at the end of the room, her reflection looking back at Gwen as she sat at the end of her bed folding up her uniform. While she spoke she twirled strands of hair around her finger, the action appearing less than absentminded as Anna adjusted her head this way and that, watching the curls she had made remain for a few seconds before they tumbled out swiftly. She brushed back her long hair after a bit, practised fingers beginning to braid.
"Not really," Gwen replied, patting down her frill on top of the pile. "Mrs Patmore made the wrong sauce again just before dinner. And blamed it on Daisy."
"Poor thing. Still, they do say you take it out on the ones you love the most." Anna chuckled softly at the kitchen maid's misfortune, and then frowned, growing deeper in thought and concern. "It seems to be happening more often to just be a coincidence now. Do you think there might be something wrong?"
"Perhaps. Though Mrs Patmore's too proud to admit it."
Anna shook her head ruefully. "Pride does more harm than good most of the time."
Gwen simply nodded, feeling too tired to get into a long conversation. "Oh, and Mr Branson started quite a lively discussion about workers' rights. You should have seen Mr Carson's face, though he insisted he wasn't talking about being here. Most of us stayed out of it. Miss O'Brien said that Mr Branson could start a brawl in an empty room."
"She's a fine one to talk," Anna tutted, laying down her brush on the little table. "No, she'd just whisper and whistle and then sit back and watch as the other vultures tore each other to pieces."
The two shared a laugh, thinking of the lady's maid as one of the dark creatures. They both knew at times it was a little unfair, but she did bring a lot of it on herself.
Quickly the mood in the room shifted; Gwen caught Anna smiling again, her eyes couldn't be hidden from the clearest glaze of the pane of glass before her. She had no desire to pry but she'd also been dying to know just an inkling, the wondering catching her mind at frequent points throughout the day.
She broached the subject carefully, gazing down at the bobbled sheets beneath her hands. "How was your afternoon in Thirsk?"
The smile crossing Anna's lips grew wider, her gaze falling into her lap before she met the mirror again, and by turn her roommate's visage.
"It was very fine," she answered, her tone surprisingly calm but with concealed joy buried not too far beneath the surface. "It was a good change to be out."
"And to spend some time with Mr Bates," Gwen added to the unfinished sentence, not feeling that she was being too cheeky by the implication.
Anna took it in good grace, her head bobbing almost imperceptibly. "It's always nice to spend time with Mr Bates."
She giggled in the next few seconds, coming to recognise the dreamy haze that had been cast across her irises as well as the lilting note in her voice that she had adopted almost unthinkingly. With her hands tucked beneath her, Anna turned around to face Gwen, who was grinning hopefully, her own fancies caught with the prospect.
"We had our own tasks to see to, the time wasn't all our own," Anna seemed to be explaining herself, as though she had been confronted with Mrs Hughes instead of her trusted friend. "But there was a little while. We had a short stroll, and went to a teashop."
The pair of sparkling blue eyes lifted to the ceiling, as though the sun of the town was still shining overhead, bringing her back to hours previous.
"You needn't say any more," Gwen chimed in, quite satisfied now. "I'm glad you both had a lovely time of it."
Anna smiled graciously, meeting Gwen's eyes with a warm, wholesome gaze. She fiddled with her hands before stilling them in her lap, taking a breath in and then letting it go easily.
"It sounds strange, and sometimes I have to wonder at myself," Anna began slowly, growing in confidence as she went, "but when I'm with Mr Bates, even for just the shortest time, I feel like the whole world is different, in the best way possible." She stopped for a moment as a wide grin was splitting her expression. "It doesn't seem like it from the outside, but from inside I feel…well, I feel more like myself. Like the person I've always wanted to be though I've never really known it, not until now."
Gwen didn't say a word, just staring at Anna instead. She seemed so sure of herself, her words were full of conviction even if she expected that they might sound funny said aloud. Inwardly, Gwen sighed; she hoped that she could understand this strange but apparently wonderful feeling for herself, one day.
"I've never felt as though I'm trapped here, or been unhappy," Anna continued in the hush of their room and the night that had descended, "but I see that there's so much more to life now. And I'm not sure I can live without it, or at least the hope of it."
Gwen saw Anna's expression grow a little wistful in the candlelight, shadows passing and then being quickly chased away. Anna was never one to dwell on her troubles for long. She got up, crossing the short distance and settling into her own bed.
Staring up at the ceiling in the new darkness, Gwen smirked to herself as she considered. "You know, I'm quite certain that I owe you a few more favours from times gone by."
A short giggle followed from her side.
"I'm supposed to be setting an example!"
"You work hard enough. It's not fair that you should have no time to play."
There came a little snort of indignance, and then a sigh of assent. Gwen raised herself up on her side, but she wasn't able to find the look on Anna's face. Yet her hopeful tone was quite enough to be sure.
"We'll see."
Gwen traipsed down the stairs, her footsteps remaining light though her legs felt as though they weighed a ton. The morning's work had been gruelling and quite boring, and she was glad of having five minutes to herself to escape to her room and catch her breath. She still had a snatch of time before needing to move onto the next duty; now a cup of tea would be just the ticket to replenish her.
She heard a flutter of laughter before she turned into the hall and halted abruptly at the doorway to find Anna and Mr Bates sitting side by side, alone at the table. Both were working diligently, Mr Bates sweeping a brush over the arm of a jacket and Anna leaning over slightly in her chair, attempting to thread the new reel of cotton through the needle that was waiting to repair the tear in Lady Mary's dress.
"Oh, for god's sake," Anna muttered quietly, ready to give up.
At once, Mr Bates put down the brush, curving his hands towards where Anna's were fumbling on the table.
"Allow me," he said softly. His larger fingers collided with Anna's as he slowly took the reel from her grasp, and their eyes met for the first time in quite a while, smiles quickly forming and greeting one another after a few seconds suspended in time.
The other housemaid grinned to herself, her thirst beginning to dissipate as she turned on her heels without another thought. They deserved all the moments that were afforded to them, Anna and Mr Bates most of all, and she would do her best on her part to let them be special.