(Not) a Tom like the other
The reason Tom hated his father was simple: His mother would rather die than bearing to live without his love. She didn't want to live for her child since she could not love it. It would just remind her of what she could never have. While she was unable to punish him due to her love for him, she could make the child pay.
His name although significant was not a gift.
She embraced death because she could not endure the idea of a live without the one but with the other Tom.
It was so much easier to hate him for being a muggle.