Nepeta is not a cat. But she likes to act like a cat. When she sits alone, she meows to herself and cleans herself like a cat. She even does the same for her Lusus, Pounce de Leon even though he can do it himself but she doesn't care because she's a fricking cat and no one can tell her what to fricking do.
When she is cleaning herself she is very vulnerable because she wants to be clean and wow if you're not clean you know what you are? DIRTY. FRICKING DIRTY AND CATS DON'T LIKE TO BE DIRTY YOU STUPID ASSBUTT.
Her best meowrail (get it meowrail not moirail because she is Nepeta and she is a fricking cat) is Equius and he is really sweaty but that's okay because she can clean him too in a pg-rated way even though he doesn't like it but still she's a fricking cat he can't tell her no because when do you ever tell a cat no and they do what you want never because that's not how cats work idiot check your cat facts.
Today when Equius comes over Nepeta is sitting in a pile of furs and he sits down next to her, sweating because that's all he does is sweat.
Nepeta climbs onto Equius' lap, giggling as she licks his sweaty cheek. What she does not know is that today when she licks Equius he had gone through a field of her catnip and wow catnip makes cats go crazy.
When she licks him her eyes go really wide and she just stares at him like cats do, and Equius sweats more.
"Nepeta, will you stop staring at me like that, I command you it's really awkward," he breathes, sweating more and wow he could fill a pool.
Nepeta just stares some more before resuming her licking, more fervently and lick-like covering him in lick juices, licking everywhere even his armpits.
Equius just sits there sweating because he's being licked and it's really hot because it's a tongue and tongues are pretty hot.
As Nepeta licks she licks his sweat off and since Equius was covered in catnip it's coming out of his pores in his sweat and its more potent like catnip alcohol and she's licking it up even more to the point where her mouth is a vacuum and she's sucking on his skin, dreamily purring.
"Nepeta stop I command you, you're getting drunk from my catnip sweat it's so lewd stop that," Equius says but he can't stop her because she's a fricking cat.
Nepeta is now licking him so much that Equius is getting a tentacle boner because of the pain because she is licking his skin off and it kind of hurts but it feels really good and she just keeps licking him.
Nepeta licks Equius' catnip alcohol sweat for a long time before she's so drunk she turns into a cat and keeps licking him and Equius is so turned on he starts lewdly touching himself to a fricking cat like a huge weirdo oh wait it's Equius and he cums with a yell of, "OH MY GOD TOO STRONG" and cums all over and hits Nepecat like BANG.
He came so hard and so strong that the blue liquid is like a fist and it it breaks all of Nepecats bones and she dies.
Equius is so sad that he buries her in the catnip field and runs away and never returns. Actually he just strong falls off a cliff.
The end.