Tony Stark is not arrogant.
Oh, he plays the part well, with his careless grins and playboy adittude and alcohol binges, but really, he isn't. Tony does not flaunt all he has, all he could do, because the military would most likely order a nuclear strike against him.
Yeah, he's used to people hating him.
The media hates him, they spew lies about him all the time. Same with those oh-so-wonderful senators and politicians, but he doesn't really give a flying fig about what either of them think (he could shut down their business or campaign in minutes) and in fact they're rather useful.
The public created his mask; he dances his part on their stage and they see what the want to see- a narcissistic fool who only is useful for his tech.
But no, Tony Stark is not a fool, nor narcissistic, and he is most definitely not arrogant.
Because arrogance goes hand-in-hand with stupidity, and he is not stupid.
Tony Stark is a genius.
Tony Stark is a genius with money and connections and power, and he knows it. He's hacked his way into every intelligence agency in the world, and how do you think he made his fortune?
It requires brains to create good weapons, but sometimes he wishes he wasn't so smart, because then millions of people wouldn't be dead because of him.
In the eyes of the world, Tony Stark is useless if he's not providing weapons or using the suit (Iron Man yes, Tony Stark no) and even then they think he is irresponsible, that they would use it better, but there's no chance at all that they will ever even touch it, not after Obie.
He is a genius and so knows the darker part of the world- he has visited there himself.
He knows what goes on outside the little bubble of safety people live in, where the lines blur into shadows and nothing is ever safe.
He knows this and he uses it; he is a superb manipulator and he takes every advantage he has.
Tony Stark is selfish and dark-hearted, and the blood of innocents will forever stain his hands.
And that is why Tony Stark will never, ever be a hero.
He will never be anything close to the others, who are inherently good. In another universe, Tony Stark destroys the world.
He is no longer naive and pure (was he ever?) and he is scarred from all the black moments, the wounded days, he has lived through.
But it is these facts, these reasons, that makes Tony Stark dangerous.
Because he is not a hero, and never will be, so he has nothing to live up to. He has no limits to back down at, no morals to follow.
So he has no qualms at utterly annihilating those who threaten the ones he loves.
And while he may live and work with heroes, heroes that will become legend one day, he is not one of them. He is an alien, an invader among the larger-than-life figures around him.
Tony is a human, he has no special training. He plays the part of a reckless alcoholic, the weak link, the narcissistic celebrity pasted on gossip magazines, the suicidal hero.
But he is none of these, he is cold and calculated and cautious, dark and twisted and wonderfully, painfully smart.
Tony Stark is not a hero, but he is deadly.