Title: Skittles: Taste the Scarab
Summary: Khaji Da tries to learn the absurd traditions that humans have in order to better coexist with his host, Jaime.
Pairing: Bluepulse (JaimeXBart)
Word Count: 773
Rating: E for everyone, at the moment
A/N: The title means nothing! I asked my usual beta (who is not betaing this, yay self editing- I'm screwed) and that was the first thing she threw at me as a joke and I decided to use it! This takes place two years after the invasion, Bart and Jaime aren't a couple...yet. Oh! If anyone can guess who Golden Skittle is, they win a cookie. (I hope I got his personality kinda right).
Anyways, hope you enjoy. And if you see something wrong/off feel free to let me know?
Golden Skittle entered the chat.
Azulescarabajo entered the chat.
Golden Skittle: Good morning, Little bug. Today's the big day?
Azulescarabajo: Affirmative, but there seems to be a malfunction with my host and we are not attending.
Azulescarabajo: He is experiencing an increase in body temperature, discharge from his nostrils and constantly requires sleep.
Golden Skittle: Sounds like your 'host' is experiencing the flu.
Azulescarabajo: I believe it's the Reach equivalent of the black plague.
Azulescarabajo:...Flu?
Golden Skittle: Yes, it's quite a common human ailment. Very disgusting and- here let me grab you a link.
Azulescarabajo: I am well aware of the contagion known as the flu.
Azulescarabajo: With the excess amount of complaints he was issuing, I believed it was fatal.
Golden Skittle: guessthatillness .fake /flu
Azulescarabajo: Previous data indicates that the link was unnecessary.
Golden Skittle: Sorry, didn't see that. I retract the link and sincere feelings behind it.
Golden Skittle: That was sarcasm by the way.
Azulescarabajo: Yes, I was aware of that and as much as I appreciate your lessons on the conversational techniques of humans, I do not have the patience for it today. Farewell.
Golden Skittle: Wait. What day is today?
Azulescarabajo: Answering is unnecessary. I am leaving.
Golden Skittle: Indulge me. What's the number?
Azulescarabajo: It is the twenty-fifth day of the seventh month of the year 2018.
Golden Skittle: asdfghjkl! Then you have to go!
Azulescarabajo: I do not see why this is of importance. Nor does the mashing of those keys make any sense.
Golden Skittle: Oh come on, trust me. Today's important. It shouldn't be canceled because- I kind of can't tell you.
Azulescarabajo: And I am suppose to adhere to you because you and your companion are from the future as you have stated several lunar cycles ago- which is highly improbable.
Golden Skittle: Your host's friend is from the future, why is it so hard for you to believe.
Azulescarabajo: Improbable does not equal impossible.
Azulescarabajo: ...I have not granted you that knowledge. How did you obtained it?
Golden Skittle: That's not important right now. Didn't you come into this chat looking for help? To learn more about human interactions to better coexist with your 'host'. Take it from me, this will help you.
Azulescarabajo: I suppose you might be correct.
Golden Skittle: Of course I am. Now go out there and Carpe Diem.
Khaji Da severed his connection to the Reyes' wireless internet after a search for quick cures for the flu. The search proved unfruitful. Just a lot rubbish that only imbeciles would believe, or the desperate. His robotic antibodies were doing little to help his host but he hadn't surprised since the organic beings he was most compatible with were his makers- the Reach.
And there was his host, Jaime Reyes, where he had been for the last hour- on his bed, curled into the fetal position around a bucket. To think they'd be on their own without his parental units in about a year. It did not bode well.
Productive levels are too low- an increase in physical output is advised. You and Bart Allen have spent an unacceptable amount of time planning this tryst to be absent.
Jaime grumbled something even the scarab's sensors couldn't decipher.
Jaime Reyes.
"I said I already told him I couldn't make it," he groaned.
Then inform him you were in error.
"It's not that I don't want to go but," a spasm of coughs interrupted him. "I'm too sick."
Irrelevant. It is vital we attend.
"But he could catch-"
Only virus 18793 of the Reach Gamma Production would prove effective at invading the speedster's immune system and causing such...malfunctions. ('tiny' print, fast talking medical warning) Unforeseen symptoms may include discoloration of skin and an increase in muscle mass in less than 2 of 15,000,000,000 test subjects. Reach Scientists are to be advised and have a least 3 scarab units on standby when administering the virus. Khaji da informed him, feeling obligated to inform Jaime to the side effects of something they were never likely to come across.
"Aye dios mio. I'm not doing this. We are not going and that's it," the Hispanic teen muttered, curling tighter around the bucket. His eyes flickered shut a few times before he finally fell asleep, most likely thanks to the medicine his maternal unit had forced down his throat half an hour ago.
It was then that Khaji Da decided to do something he swore to Jaime that he would never do, unless it was an emergency. This was an emergency, of sorts. He took control of Jaime's body.
Apologizes, Jaime Reyes, but the mission must continue.