30.10.2000
Invasion Of Ratfest 2001
By Nikki Kirk
Summary: A prediction of what *could* happen in Ratfest 2001.
Dedication: To all the members of the Ratfest group, hope you don't mind the fact that I used your names and created your personalities (if I don't know you well enough) and if there are slight inaccuracies I apologise in advance.
Disclaimer: I didn't do it. I apologise for anything not quite right. I don't own the characters (they own themselves), and I don't own any of the places, and this is all fiction, there is no truth to this story (apart from Caroline's shark fetish). Yay! I take no responsibility in short.
Author's notes: Well, I thought I'd be original and invent this unusual story, taking ideas off one of the e-groups I moderate. Hope you guys don't mind. Well, my sister's hitting me in the head and calling me a slimeball and is singing really bad songs, so I have to go. Hope this isn't too inaccurate!
*****
Alex snapped her head up as she heard the sound of a large group of noisy people heading her and Jack's way. "Hey Jules, control yourself!" A teen laughed as another group member hugged a tree on Goat Island.
"Hey, take a look at that lot..." Alex swatted Jack's arm and pointed as the group began trotting down the stairs.
"Oh my gosh, look! It's... it's... IT'S THEM!!! Where's Mick?!" another one yelled, pointing at the pair.
Alex gave Jack an "oh oh!" look which he returned. Another bunch of fans. They'd had enough problems with the last group, and that one was slightly smaller... Alex jumped up the stairs and jogged into reception to alert the others. "Another lot are here... Giz the intercom?" Alex tried to remain calm.
Last year the group of women had started taking snaps of everything in sight - they even went around to an ex-detective's, Frank Holloway's house and took photos of his bathroom (which was pink) and of them on his couch. She couldn't help but wonder what this lot was going to do. "Okay, you lot, listen up! We have another 'ratpak' heading this way, lock the doors, the windows, make sure all of your personal belongings are superglued to your desks, and try to remain calm. I repeat, remain calm." Alex said quickly, and upon hearing several yells, running feet and a new constable yelling orders at the older, more skitterish (or as they preferred to say it, *experienced*) ones, Alex yanked Jack through the doors and bolted them as the group ran up the steps.
"Hey! No fair!" one complained.
"Owah, come on!" another groaned.
"HEY! Ally, let us in, PLEASE!" another squawked.
"Heeeeey...!"
"I paid good money for this..." another sighed.
The group started thumping on the glass, making the whole front wall of the station shudder. Helen called for reinforcements. "Hey guys! In here!" One of them peeped around the corner, and the group roared into the second floor.
"Oh shit..." Alex groaned loudly, receiving nods of agreement from the surrounding officers.
"Quick, check the photocopier!!!" There was a thunder of feet across the ceiling as the group sprinted down the hallway.
There was a bang, crash, splinter, kapow, boof, screech, doonk, then a loud "TOLD YOU SO!" as they ripped apart the photocopier.
There were several gasps, and Alex and Jack ran up the stairs, joining Mick and a few others who were gawking at the remains of the photocopier. "Rachel?" Jack gasped before fainting, falling on the floor with a thud.
"Oh my god." Mick simply said, scratching his head.
"Hoh..." Helen grabbed onto the railing behind Mick, Jack and Alex to prevent herself from falling.
"Frank, I think we've been found out." Rachel brushed the broken plastic off her suit in a dignified way and stepped out of the debris.
Frank did the same. "Jack? Jack! Wake up!" Alex patted his face, then waved her hand above his face.
Helen ran up to Rachel and Frank, then grabbed them both in a bear hug, tears of joy streaming from her eyes. Hawker finally appeared from his office to see what was going on. "Rah... Rachel? Holloway? What on earth...?" Jeff spluttered, tempted to disappear back into his office and find his bottle of Whisky under his desk, a remainder of the "Rachel and Frank Days".
The group of girls grinned at each other and gathered around Helen, Frank and Rachel and gave them all a bear hug. "I think you'd better explain yourselves." One of the girls, a New Zealander from the sounds of it, said.
"Yeah, I agree Nikki." Another said.
"Yep, here here!"
"Yes, I think you'd better..." Jeff couldn't think of another way to say it.
"Okay, I'll do it." Frank looked at Rachel, and upon the nod of approval, Frank continued. "We were both ordered to go undercover. I did sail away, sure, but only to Brisbane, where I took a flight back here. Rachel kept working, refusing to do it. But then they resorted to the only thing that would get Goldie away from this place - they hired Graeme Denton to stab her. She lost consciousness, but didn't die as Jack thought..."
"I'm sorry Jack..." Rachel whispered to Jack who'd just woken up.
"And the paramedics were in the secret service, and they fixed her up good as new..."
"Except for the bloody scar..." Rachel muttered.
"And then we came here to spy on you guys so see how you'd cope without us."
"And we weren't terribly impressed either." Rachel added.
"Well..." Helen said, wondering how they did it.
"Why the photocopier?" Jeff asked, looking confused.
"Because the filing cabinet was too painful, nothing like a drawer in the b..." Rachel cut Frank off, elbowing him in the stomach.
"Oof!"
"Too much information Frank."
"Sorry."
"I knew it..." Nikki muttered, scratching her chin thoughtfully, gazing at the two with fixed eyes.
"She did ya know... She put it on the e-group!" another one piped up.
Helen looked at the two, then at the group. "Okay, names?" This was all too much, and rather than call than them Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Happy, Sleepy, Farty, Freddy, Harry, Gazza and Bob, she decided to find out their names.
"Esme!"
"Jules!"
"Kate!"
"Cam!"
"Caroline!"
"Nikki!"
"Hilde!"
"Deb!"
"Maria!"
"Maria's friend!"
"Maria's friend?" Helen asked.
"Well, the author of this story doesn't know who Maria's friend is... maybe it's Daria?" Maria's friend replied.
"Oh..." Helen was confused.
"Yeah, it is confusing. Say, do you lot want to come for a Barbecue on the terrace of our Penthouse?" Esme suggested.
"Yeah!" The group simultaneously agreed.
"Uh... we'll get back to you." Jeff spoke on everyone's behalf.
"So, Ratfest members, where to next?" Jules spoke up.
"The D's office!" yelled Kate.
"No, the Interview room!" yelled Cam.
"No! The broom closet!" Caroline bellowed.
Everyone went silent and looked at Caroline. "What? I want to see the broom closet!" Caroline shrugged.
"Well guys, let's not forget the fact that she jumped off the wharves at Circular Quay yesterday because she thought she saw a shark..." Nikki reasoned.
"Oh, yeah, yeah..." the others mumbled.
"Hang on... how about the OTHER photocopier...?" Maria pointed out.
"Yeah... I get first massacre!" Jules ran at the photocopier, but stopped short as the top half of the photocopier lifted up and there stood Tommy, Tayler and Dave.
"Someone check the filing cabinet?" Nikki suggested.
"I'll go!" Esme ducked into the D's room and pulled out the filing cabinet drawers, then returned holding a shoe.
"Yours I presume?" She threw it at Frank.
"Oh, wondered where that one went..." Frank caught it.
"So that's what the smell was..." it suddenly made sense to the long-suffering Rachel.
"Moving on..." Maria's friend tapped her foot impatiently.
"Oh yeah. D's room first eh, it's closest." Esme led the way.
"Just don't mess up my desk!" Jack called.
The Sydney Water Police, past and present, stood in the hallway looking at each other as the group looked in the D's office. "Hi!" Tayler grinned sheepishly, alongside Tommy and Dave who were both grinning like a pair of idiots.
"Meal room, now." Jeff growled, leading the staff through the door, slamming it behind them and leaving the group of teens to ransack the place.
"Well, that was interesting..." Kate sat on the reception counter, looking at the gathering before her.
"The others still in the meeting?" Jules came back in from outside with Cam.
"Yep." Hilde replied, jumping off the steps.
"Hmph." The others sighed.
Just them they heard the Meal Room door open upstairs and people filed down the stairwell. "So, what happened?" Cam pounced upon Helen as soon as she cleared the last step.
"Sorry, bound to secrecy."
"Right. Interesting. Would you like fries with that?" Nikki'd had too much coke.
"Kirk, get in behind." Esme kept her under control.
"Are you lot going to stay here forever?" Helen asked.
"Only until we get photos with each and every one of you..." Jules informed her.
"Ugh." Helen picked up the intercom, "Would Tayler, Tommy, Matt, Gavin, Dave, Frank, Rachel, Jack, Alex, Jeffrey, Woodsie, Mick and Donna please come down to reception?"
The lot of them obediently came down the stairs. The cameras came out. The fake smiles appeared, the hugs began, the posing came to an all-time high (higher than on the Sydney Harbour Bridge a few days beforehand) and the staff were left looking dazed by camera flashes. "Thanks guys, and now for the autographs..." Deb chuckled evilly, not missing out on this chance of a lifetime!
"Ah..." Ratfest 2001 relaxed in the spa at the hotel later on, glasses of sparkling grapefruit juice in hands. It had been a long day. Now Jules was hard at work making dinner - her cellphone was in her hand and she was ordering a bunch of pizzas.
"Well, today was good." Deb grinned.
"Yep." The others sighed.
"And tomorrow should be good..." Jules said, referring to the trip up to Mona Vale Beach.
"Yep." The others sighed.
"Look out below!!!" Caroline suddenly appeared on the edge of a first story balcony and jumped into the pool, making a bomb and showering those in the spa with tonnes of water.
"CAROLINE!!!" The others bellowed.
"Yes?" She pulled herself out of the pool and jumped into the large spa.
"Behave!" Nikki punched her in the arm.
Caroline merely laughed evilly. "I wonder if all the photos will come out?" Maria thought aloud.
"Mmm..." The others sighed.
"Pizza?" A hotel boy knew the scary bunch of teens well, and he'd drawn the short straw.
The group sprung out of the spa and tackled the hotelboy head on, grabbing the boxes of pizza savagely. "Oooh! Hawaiian! Jules you saint!" Kate and the others dug into the various pizzas.
"Mmm..."
"Uh, please don't get crumbs in there..." The hotelboy turned on his heel and ran.
The last night the Ratfest 2001 were in Sydney, the group went out to a posh revolving restaurant in the Sydney Tower. All in eveningwear, some bought during the numerous 'shopping expeditions', the group looked terrific. Sitting around an elegantly set table, the group chattered away noisily, discussing the trip. "And that potato you exploded on the fire..." Jules teased Kate who was cracking up laughing.
"Or the egg that went overboard... did ya... did ya see them fish it out with the net?" Cam's new Australian accent peeped through.
The table roared with laughter as incredibly delicious desserts were placed before them. "Well, it's been quite the experience, eh guys?" Maria chuckled.
"Yep! I propose a toast, to Ratfest 2001, present and future! May we all stay Ratty forever!" Nikki stood up.
"Here here!" there was the chink of the glasses.
Waving goodbye, eagerly anticipating the next Ratfest 2001, all of the group members said their goodbyes and hopped on their planes, heading back to their numerous homelands. Suddenly the mass exodus stopped as the Sydney Water Police filed in. Jeff went up the customer services counter and grabbed the intercom. "The Sydney Water Police would like to say farewell to the crazy bunch of people who destroyed our photocopiers a few days ago. You'll be getting the bills in the mail!" He said jokingly, and the whole station waved farewell to the bunch of nutters.
"Geez, can't wait till next year, eh?" Alex asked Rachel, her new acquaintance.
"Definitely. Should be soooo fun." Rachel shook her head, then dragged Frank over to get a coffee.
THE END!!!
P.S: Feedback to sydneygirl2b@hotmail.com
Invasion Of Ratfest 2001
By Nikki Kirk
Summary: A prediction of what *could* happen in Ratfest 2001.
Dedication: To all the members of the Ratfest group, hope you don't mind the fact that I used your names and created your personalities (if I don't know you well enough) and if there are slight inaccuracies I apologise in advance.
Disclaimer: I didn't do it. I apologise for anything not quite right. I don't own the characters (they own themselves), and I don't own any of the places, and this is all fiction, there is no truth to this story (apart from Caroline's shark fetish). Yay! I take no responsibility in short.
Author's notes: Well, I thought I'd be original and invent this unusual story, taking ideas off one of the e-groups I moderate. Hope you guys don't mind. Well, my sister's hitting me in the head and calling me a slimeball and is singing really bad songs, so I have to go. Hope this isn't too inaccurate!
*****
Alex snapped her head up as she heard the sound of a large group of noisy people heading her and Jack's way. "Hey Jules, control yourself!" A teen laughed as another group member hugged a tree on Goat Island.
"Hey, take a look at that lot..." Alex swatted Jack's arm and pointed as the group began trotting down the stairs.
"Oh my gosh, look! It's... it's... IT'S THEM!!! Where's Mick?!" another one yelled, pointing at the pair.
Alex gave Jack an "oh oh!" look which he returned. Another bunch of fans. They'd had enough problems with the last group, and that one was slightly smaller... Alex jumped up the stairs and jogged into reception to alert the others. "Another lot are here... Giz the intercom?" Alex tried to remain calm.
Last year the group of women had started taking snaps of everything in sight - they even went around to an ex-detective's, Frank Holloway's house and took photos of his bathroom (which was pink) and of them on his couch. She couldn't help but wonder what this lot was going to do. "Okay, you lot, listen up! We have another 'ratpak' heading this way, lock the doors, the windows, make sure all of your personal belongings are superglued to your desks, and try to remain calm. I repeat, remain calm." Alex said quickly, and upon hearing several yells, running feet and a new constable yelling orders at the older, more skitterish (or as they preferred to say it, *experienced*) ones, Alex yanked Jack through the doors and bolted them as the group ran up the steps.
"Hey! No fair!" one complained.
"Owah, come on!" another groaned.
"HEY! Ally, let us in, PLEASE!" another squawked.
"Heeeeey...!"
"I paid good money for this..." another sighed.
The group started thumping on the glass, making the whole front wall of the station shudder. Helen called for reinforcements. "Hey guys! In here!" One of them peeped around the corner, and the group roared into the second floor.
"Oh shit..." Alex groaned loudly, receiving nods of agreement from the surrounding officers.
"Quick, check the photocopier!!!" There was a thunder of feet across the ceiling as the group sprinted down the hallway.
There was a bang, crash, splinter, kapow, boof, screech, doonk, then a loud "TOLD YOU SO!" as they ripped apart the photocopier.
There were several gasps, and Alex and Jack ran up the stairs, joining Mick and a few others who were gawking at the remains of the photocopier. "Rachel?" Jack gasped before fainting, falling on the floor with a thud.
"Oh my god." Mick simply said, scratching his head.
"Hoh..." Helen grabbed onto the railing behind Mick, Jack and Alex to prevent herself from falling.
"Frank, I think we've been found out." Rachel brushed the broken plastic off her suit in a dignified way and stepped out of the debris.
Frank did the same. "Jack? Jack! Wake up!" Alex patted his face, then waved her hand above his face.
Helen ran up to Rachel and Frank, then grabbed them both in a bear hug, tears of joy streaming from her eyes. Hawker finally appeared from his office to see what was going on. "Rah... Rachel? Holloway? What on earth...?" Jeff spluttered, tempted to disappear back into his office and find his bottle of Whisky under his desk, a remainder of the "Rachel and Frank Days".
The group of girls grinned at each other and gathered around Helen, Frank and Rachel and gave them all a bear hug. "I think you'd better explain yourselves." One of the girls, a New Zealander from the sounds of it, said.
"Yeah, I agree Nikki." Another said.
"Yep, here here!"
"Yes, I think you'd better..." Jeff couldn't think of another way to say it.
"Okay, I'll do it." Frank looked at Rachel, and upon the nod of approval, Frank continued. "We were both ordered to go undercover. I did sail away, sure, but only to Brisbane, where I took a flight back here. Rachel kept working, refusing to do it. But then they resorted to the only thing that would get Goldie away from this place - they hired Graeme Denton to stab her. She lost consciousness, but didn't die as Jack thought..."
"I'm sorry Jack..." Rachel whispered to Jack who'd just woken up.
"And the paramedics were in the secret service, and they fixed her up good as new..."
"Except for the bloody scar..." Rachel muttered.
"And then we came here to spy on you guys so see how you'd cope without us."
"And we weren't terribly impressed either." Rachel added.
"Well..." Helen said, wondering how they did it.
"Why the photocopier?" Jeff asked, looking confused.
"Because the filing cabinet was too painful, nothing like a drawer in the b..." Rachel cut Frank off, elbowing him in the stomach.
"Oof!"
"Too much information Frank."
"Sorry."
"I knew it..." Nikki muttered, scratching her chin thoughtfully, gazing at the two with fixed eyes.
"She did ya know... She put it on the e-group!" another one piped up.
Helen looked at the two, then at the group. "Okay, names?" This was all too much, and rather than call than them Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Happy, Sleepy, Farty, Freddy, Harry, Gazza and Bob, she decided to find out their names.
"Esme!"
"Jules!"
"Kate!"
"Cam!"
"Caroline!"
"Nikki!"
"Hilde!"
"Deb!"
"Maria!"
"Maria's friend!"
"Maria's friend?" Helen asked.
"Well, the author of this story doesn't know who Maria's friend is... maybe it's Daria?" Maria's friend replied.
"Oh..." Helen was confused.
"Yeah, it is confusing. Say, do you lot want to come for a Barbecue on the terrace of our Penthouse?" Esme suggested.
"Yeah!" The group simultaneously agreed.
"Uh... we'll get back to you." Jeff spoke on everyone's behalf.
"So, Ratfest members, where to next?" Jules spoke up.
"The D's office!" yelled Kate.
"No, the Interview room!" yelled Cam.
"No! The broom closet!" Caroline bellowed.
Everyone went silent and looked at Caroline. "What? I want to see the broom closet!" Caroline shrugged.
"Well guys, let's not forget the fact that she jumped off the wharves at Circular Quay yesterday because she thought she saw a shark..." Nikki reasoned.
"Oh, yeah, yeah..." the others mumbled.
"Hang on... how about the OTHER photocopier...?" Maria pointed out.
"Yeah... I get first massacre!" Jules ran at the photocopier, but stopped short as the top half of the photocopier lifted up and there stood Tommy, Tayler and Dave.
"Someone check the filing cabinet?" Nikki suggested.
"I'll go!" Esme ducked into the D's room and pulled out the filing cabinet drawers, then returned holding a shoe.
"Yours I presume?" She threw it at Frank.
"Oh, wondered where that one went..." Frank caught it.
"So that's what the smell was..." it suddenly made sense to the long-suffering Rachel.
"Moving on..." Maria's friend tapped her foot impatiently.
"Oh yeah. D's room first eh, it's closest." Esme led the way.
"Just don't mess up my desk!" Jack called.
The Sydney Water Police, past and present, stood in the hallway looking at each other as the group looked in the D's office. "Hi!" Tayler grinned sheepishly, alongside Tommy and Dave who were both grinning like a pair of idiots.
"Meal room, now." Jeff growled, leading the staff through the door, slamming it behind them and leaving the group of teens to ransack the place.
"Well, that was interesting..." Kate sat on the reception counter, looking at the gathering before her.
"The others still in the meeting?" Jules came back in from outside with Cam.
"Yep." Hilde replied, jumping off the steps.
"Hmph." The others sighed.
Just them they heard the Meal Room door open upstairs and people filed down the stairwell. "So, what happened?" Cam pounced upon Helen as soon as she cleared the last step.
"Sorry, bound to secrecy."
"Right. Interesting. Would you like fries with that?" Nikki'd had too much coke.
"Kirk, get in behind." Esme kept her under control.
"Are you lot going to stay here forever?" Helen asked.
"Only until we get photos with each and every one of you..." Jules informed her.
"Ugh." Helen picked up the intercom, "Would Tayler, Tommy, Matt, Gavin, Dave, Frank, Rachel, Jack, Alex, Jeffrey, Woodsie, Mick and Donna please come down to reception?"
The lot of them obediently came down the stairs. The cameras came out. The fake smiles appeared, the hugs began, the posing came to an all-time high (higher than on the Sydney Harbour Bridge a few days beforehand) and the staff were left looking dazed by camera flashes. "Thanks guys, and now for the autographs..." Deb chuckled evilly, not missing out on this chance of a lifetime!
"Ah..." Ratfest 2001 relaxed in the spa at the hotel later on, glasses of sparkling grapefruit juice in hands. It had been a long day. Now Jules was hard at work making dinner - her cellphone was in her hand and she was ordering a bunch of pizzas.
"Well, today was good." Deb grinned.
"Yep." The others sighed.
"And tomorrow should be good..." Jules said, referring to the trip up to Mona Vale Beach.
"Yep." The others sighed.
"Look out below!!!" Caroline suddenly appeared on the edge of a first story balcony and jumped into the pool, making a bomb and showering those in the spa with tonnes of water.
"CAROLINE!!!" The others bellowed.
"Yes?" She pulled herself out of the pool and jumped into the large spa.
"Behave!" Nikki punched her in the arm.
Caroline merely laughed evilly. "I wonder if all the photos will come out?" Maria thought aloud.
"Mmm..." The others sighed.
"Pizza?" A hotel boy knew the scary bunch of teens well, and he'd drawn the short straw.
The group sprung out of the spa and tackled the hotelboy head on, grabbing the boxes of pizza savagely. "Oooh! Hawaiian! Jules you saint!" Kate and the others dug into the various pizzas.
"Mmm..."
"Uh, please don't get crumbs in there..." The hotelboy turned on his heel and ran.
The last night the Ratfest 2001 were in Sydney, the group went out to a posh revolving restaurant in the Sydney Tower. All in eveningwear, some bought during the numerous 'shopping expeditions', the group looked terrific. Sitting around an elegantly set table, the group chattered away noisily, discussing the trip. "And that potato you exploded on the fire..." Jules teased Kate who was cracking up laughing.
"Or the egg that went overboard... did ya... did ya see them fish it out with the net?" Cam's new Australian accent peeped through.
The table roared with laughter as incredibly delicious desserts were placed before them. "Well, it's been quite the experience, eh guys?" Maria chuckled.
"Yep! I propose a toast, to Ratfest 2001, present and future! May we all stay Ratty forever!" Nikki stood up.
"Here here!" there was the chink of the glasses.
Waving goodbye, eagerly anticipating the next Ratfest 2001, all of the group members said their goodbyes and hopped on their planes, heading back to their numerous homelands. Suddenly the mass exodus stopped as the Sydney Water Police filed in. Jeff went up the customer services counter and grabbed the intercom. "The Sydney Water Police would like to say farewell to the crazy bunch of people who destroyed our photocopiers a few days ago. You'll be getting the bills in the mail!" He said jokingly, and the whole station waved farewell to the bunch of nutters.
"Geez, can't wait till next year, eh?" Alex asked Rachel, her new acquaintance.
"Definitely. Should be soooo fun." Rachel shook her head, then dragged Frank over to get a coffee.
THE END!!!
P.S: Feedback to sydneygirl2b@hotmail.com