Originally written as a Tumblr prompt from april-avery: when Jackson finally tells April, I love you. Enjoy!
She slams her bag down with a groan, letting it slide across the table as she slips into the booth.
"I hate this day!"
He raises an eyebrow, "What's wrong with today?" He takes another sip of his scotch and watches her, amused at her peeved expression.
April closes her eyes for a second, "There was this, uh, patient in today. She was pregnant, and she-" She swallows a breath and shakes her head, "She's gone, and I had to tell her husband of ten years."
Jackson grimaces, "Thhings like that shouldn't happen, April."
"You don't think I know that? That I didn't try my freaking hardest to save her?" She glares, standing from the booth to order herself a drink.
He frowns, "That's not what I meant and you know it." He tells her before she shakes her head again and brushes him off as she heads over to the bar.
They've been at this for a while. Hanging out outside of work, trying to be friends again like they were before all of this, any of this ever happened. It's proving difficult when all they do is fight over stupid things or find themselves thinking about things that friends don't do.
Well, regular friends at least.
Maybe it's too weird, too soon, too awkward. How could they expect to go back like before when so much has changed between them?
When they're both in respective relationships, including an engagement for one of them, but pining for each other? Who in their right mind could handle that?
"I'm sorry." She tells him, sitting down opposite him again and sipping her beer. "I know that you were just trying to be a good friend, and I'm sorry I blew up at you."
Jackson nods with a soft smile, "It's fine."
She sighs, and lets her shoulders drop as she leans back in her seat, "So, how was your day?"
She tries to make small-talk and he smirks, twirling his glass in his hand as she watches him.
"Good. My mom was on my case again, though. I swear she does it on purpose."
April giggles, "She's your mom, Jackson. She loves you."
He nods and licks his lips, glancing down at the table, "Yeah. Yeah, you're right." He speaks quietly and she smiles. "How's the planning going?"
Yeah, it's awkward. And weird. And too soon.
She pauses for a second and looks at him before replying, "It's, um, fine." She gulps, "He wants a church wedding with candles and stuff but-"
"I thought you wanted a field and whatever. What was it, butterflies?"
She blushes under his gaze, remembering their brief proposal. The way he'd offered her everything she wanted. The way he was willing to give her butterflies and a field and mints and everything how she wanted it. And then she remembers that all that's in the past.
"Yeah, I did, but- I mean, I've hurt his feelings so he should get what he wants for once."
Jackson frowns again, "April, he has you. That should be enough for him." He doesn't fully realize what he's said until it's too late, until the words have already fallen out of his mouth, but he doesn't regret them.
She bites her lip and fidgets in her seat as she avoids his eyes, "You really think so?"
It's at the risk of becoming tense and un-friendly.
"I know so." He keeps talking, unsure of himself and why, "April, when I had you, I didn't want anything else."
She swallows and takes her turn to lick her lips, "Why didn't you ever tell me that?"
"Look, we're not gonna have this argument again." He warns her, taking the last sip of his drink before he stands.
Her forehead creases, "Yeah, we are. You let me walk away, you pushed me to walk away, and you made me believe that you were done." She follows him as he heads towards the entrance, trying to ignore her. She catches his arm and pulls him away from the door and into a corner. He groans of frustration, and she smacks his chest, "Are you done? Or, do you-" She stares up at him, noticing the pained look on his face.
"I shouldn't have said anything, alright?" He speaks, eyes wide as he leand down and tries to convince her of his words, "Just forget it."
He goes to move but she grabs his shoulders as hard as she can and pushes him backwards. He goes to laugh at her attempt at strength but suddenly remembers her punching that guy and stops himself from budging. He stays still before her, letting her hit him repeatedly to keep in him there.
April lets her arms drop, "Jackson…"
"Let it go."
She smacks his chest again but he catches her hand this time, holding it gently in his grasp. She stops moving and takes a deep breath, "Did you want me to walk away? From you, did you? Did you want me to choose him? Is that what you wanted?" She grits her teeth as she whispers.
"Why would I have wanted that?" He asks her suddenly, "You think I wanted you to go back to him? I wanted you to prove me wrong, to prove to me that you could make a choice for once in your life. You chose me, and, fool me, I actually thought you meant it, but you didn't. You changed your mind again, okay? I didn't want you to go back to him, who would want that?"
April glances at their feet, her hands nervous in his own, "What do you mean?" She asks quietly, her voice almost mute as she talks.
He looks down at her with a faint smile, "Who would want the woman they love to marry another guy?" Her head slowly lifts up and he spots the tears in her wide eyes, "I didn't fight for you, April, because I thought you'd already given up. I thought you didn't want me so I moved on. And then you wanted me, and then you didn't. You made up your mind a long time ago when you chose him, April. And I couldn't compete with that."
Her hands are smacking him again and he stands in his place, letting her vent out her frustrations, "You're an idiot! You idiot! I could kill you!" Her hands move to his neck and he pulls her away, his face hard.
Suddenly, she feels her back hit the wall behind her, his hands tangling in her hair as he presses his lips to hers heatedly.
April moans against him, her hands resting comfortably on his chest as they kiss tightly together in the corner.
He pulls away and rests his forehead against hers and she gulps, her eyes closed, "Do you still love me?"
Jackson blinks a few times and softly smiles, "Yeah, I love you."
A couple of tears fall from her eyes as she grins up at him, "You're an idiot." She tells him again before grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him down to her lips again.
His hands rest on her hips as he pulls away again, "You're, uh-"He pauses and stares at her mouth for a second, "You're not gonna marry him anyway, are you?"
She smiles, "How can I marry him when I'm in love with someone else?"